I hadn't written darily a long time, coz I always in the bad mood in this month especially.

Recently so many terriblesome & unhappiness come toward me...... I'm tired and they make me mad!  I can't handle it at all!  I nearly go mad now!  I wanna talk with someone, I hope someone can give me some advice....   But, at this time,  at this moment, I find that noone, absolutely noone surround me, help me stand beside......  Never had I feel that hopeless, helpless.....

In this night, I suddenly remember 2 ppl.  They had helped me to walk out the darkness and hopeless, they relighted my hope and made me having motive power again..... They made me set up my target again.  One who promised me to walk along this harsh way toward the target, but  this is the one who left me alone in the starting stage.  Another one who give me encourage along the harsh way toward the target, but I push that one away, I'm sorry to do that, coz I don't want such ambiguous relationship, not net fd, not closed fd, not lover.... Actually I need to say thx, coz she really encourage me walk out from the darkness......

But maybe I needn't step out the darkness......maybe I'm belonged to the darkness, Coz I'm Mr Hopeless...

I still have some many wanna wirte down....but I really feel tired.....

I'm just looking at the  no phon-call phone & watching at the message ICQ or MSN & thinking about the past....