今天仍是很凍，很凍。還要一早爬起床去醫院做化療，身體就是不大想郁動吧了，結果還是掙扎起來。這嚴寒的天氣下還要去這些感覺比較冷的地方，抗拒是可以理解的。驗血報告說今日可以化療，許醫師說我的肝腎功能還要比正常的人好呢。
經過上次的嘔吐的經驗，今午只吃了少量的粥，以免化療時有反胃的感覺。當遞上左手給姑娘打豆的時候，她的針拮在手背兩次都找不到通順的血管，因為血管經過多次的化療已大多纖維化或塞了，已痛得我嘩嘩大叫。只得放棄左手，改用右手。好不容易在較近手碗位置找到了較為通順的血管，她還對我說說：“早D拮右手就不用同隻左手「週旋」吧！下次記得遞隻右手比我啦。”真比她氣壞。所以左手就此“壯烈犧牲”了。
今次是第十一次化療，還有一次就完成這個療程了。在接近完成的這些時候，心中常有著一個疑問？這個療程是否真的能夠清走我體內的EB病毒呢？現我心內就時有這個問號。我是應該對醫生及自己有足夠的信心，往後的事無人可預料及估計，但是這個矛盾時不時都係我心內盤旋，顯然情緒有點兒不安。希望這個情緒不安的感覺會很快隨著好消息而消失吧。
一如以往，化完療很累。回家休息直到第日。
The weather is continiously cold. I felt difficulties to wake up in early morning. But I have to because I need to go hospital for chemotheraphy today. I stuggled from the bed. It is not a good feeling to go to such a 'cold' place under the cold temperature. The blood result showed a good standard of me. Also the doctor told me that my renal and the liver are in good condition rather than a normal person.
I ate a little this afternoon to present spit again. But when I gave my left hand to the nurse, her noodle put into twice without success. It was very painful to have two wounds on the left hand. At last, she gave up my left hand and tried my right hand. It was in success. She said: "your blood pipes on left hand have been fully conjested, next time please let me try your right hand." Oh! shit! So, my left hand will not use for chemo again.
This is the 11th treatment and the last one will be coming soonest. As the ending date is closed, I have a question in heart. I am thinking that: will this serious of treatment really help me to destroy the EB disease? I always raise this question myself and feel scared. I knew I should have much confidence not only on the doctor, but also on myself. I must be brave enough to face any difficulties and overcome them. No one can know what will be happen in future. The struggle over my heart and brain makes me sometimes afraid of such dreads. I hope the good news of my health will push this great fear out of my heart.
As usual, after the treatment, I was so tired and sleep over until next day.
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