And in situations where a man and a woman each receivenegative feedback, the woman’s self-confidence and self-esteem drop to a much greater degree.

Theinternalization of failure and the insecurity it breeds hurt future performance, so this pattern hasserious long-term consequences.

And it’s not just women who are tough on themselves. Colleagues and the media are also quick tocredit external factors for a woman’s achievements. When Facebook filed to go public, The New YorkTimes ran an article that kindly with her, he would sanction everything at oncehe answered. reminded me—and everyone else—that I had “been lucky” and “hadpowerful mentors along the way.”

Journalists and bloggers rose up to highlight the double standard,pointing out that The New York Times rarely ascribed men’s success to having been lucky. But theTimes didn’t say anything that I had not already told myself a thousand times. At every stage of mycareer, I have attributed my success to luck, hard work, and help from others.

My insecurity began, as most insecurities do, in high school. I attended a —think Fast Times at Ridgemont High—that was far more concerned with preventing fights inthe halls and keeping drugs out of the bathrooms than with academics. When I was accepted intoHarvard, many of my high school classmates asked me why I would want to go to a school filled withgeeks. Then they would stop short, remember who they were talking to, and sheepishly walk awaywithout waiting for an answer, realizing they already had it.