I... I felt lost.

Felt like no one was with me.

The people in AIESEC, I like them.

I held hands with CC and we talked merrily after the AC.

They didn't listen to my opinion. I'm just an alumni.

And I didn't have my stand. I felt like a loser.

But CC and Quanfeng still talked with me.

I told QF that I adored his analyzing strategy. He was surprised.

But I did. I was in the group with him, and he was great.

Having a stand point, you can do everything.

It was like the saying I adored in Gorky's My University,

To believe in a religion. Oh, I thought I forgot the adoration long ago.

And QF praised my English. Said I was more like an English learner.

I smiled and said because I liked English and wasn't afraid to speak.

Sandy and Jerome we weren't exactly friends, but we spoke.

The joke, letti-letti, it was brilliant. I wonder how I came to that. But it successfully brought me closer with Aiesec.

God, I'm enjoying life.

I agreed to help out in the individual interview tomorrow afternoon. I wasn't much use of a help, but I got the chance.

And I made use of it.

In the dorm room I talked with many on WeChat.

With the new friends I've made just now, with Chris, with MS, with X-Bingo.

I felt so alive, yet so empty. I was busy, yet so idle.

When I took a bath I prayed, and he said he loved me.

He loves me. Who am I to serve him? But he loves me anyway.

Believing in God doesn't mean that yoy give up on yourself.

People all around like me, although I'm not brilliant.

They gave me a chance just because I'm willing.

I'm never the best, but I was blessed. Because I seek him.

I want to be brilliant, but everyone in AIESEC, they are brilliant, and I love them.

I hope to be brilliant one day, but he said, didn't you say you want to be Ananias. And I said yes.

I do not need to be brilliant. I need to be close with him, and he blesses me because of our intimate relationship.

But still I will excel, and someday in heaven I'll say, oh, Lord, I have been brilliant, but that was in the old world and didn't have any perpetual value. But I was happy, because I loved your words more than anything else and you made me brilliant.

I'm precious. Need not be the best. Now rest?

What a night. But every now and then you are there. Thank you, Lord, my savior, my God, Thank you for loving me.