Why, does it always turn out this way?
it seems like betrayal, or I shouldn't use such word,
because there were never any friendship to begin with...

it always seems to be this way,
whenever I become close with someone,
it always turns out wrong in the end,
or is it that I let down my "wall",
and show more than I needed to to others?

the closer I get to people,
the more they see about me as a person,
the more weaknesses I reveal to them,
the easier they will leave me
whenever I think of these, I am scared,
scare to lose what I have,
to lose the bit of things that I have left

am I disliked? hated? by people?
that they're just pretending to be my friends?
that the very idea of calling me their "friend" distained them?
I don't know anymore, I feel isolated,
like everyone're wearing masks around me,
to hide their true thoughts about me

who am I to them really?
a quiet girl? a perfect student? a lonely person? or what?
I'm quiet because I have no one to talk to,
I have to be perfect because that's the only way to be noticed,
I'm alone because I'm not in some kinda "group" like everyone else

people all have their own life, friends, families, circles,
I just happened to be one out of that infinately large number,
a passenger that no one pays attentions to on the side