以前我真係好中意好中意番教會番少年區,,,

今日既我係好僧好唔想好唔中意番少年區,,,

原因係因為我唔想係e組...真係好辛苦好難捱...搞到我e家真係完全唔知點解自己既心情會咁亂...

係亂到傻左...起伏得好快...尤其係帶組果時...仲有唉,,,我好唔想將帶組同組員相處果d心情帶番番屋企...

搞到e家同屋企人真係愈黎愈差...次次番完教會係屋企我都好難同屋企人好聲好氣咁講句野...次次叫親我我都係超唔鋸咁應佢...

我發現我真係唔適合做一個組長...會考...仲要係個組度比咁大既壓力我,,,仲要比咁多唔好既野我...我好難捱...好辛苦囉!!!

如果唔係為左神...唉我唔知有邊一日我會索性唔番教會...再係咁樣真係會逼到我走投無路...

如果唔係e間教會比左咁多回憶我...我一早走左過隔黎or唔番...

哎搞到我e家係e個世界上嚴格黎講都係得一個人我係好好好重視...

我e家同屋企人真係搞到好似陌生人咁...今日數數手指發現成日都講左唔夠5句野...

呀爸又唔係香港...唔係得我呀媽好難撐...我都好辛苦...又要勞氣呀妹,,,又要抑制自己唔比自己d情緒爆出黎...

暫時得兩件事係我可以好開心好放鬆...一:敬拜,,,另外就係同某人相處既時候...

哎我唔想搞到自己咁,,,死啦到我開始有少少唔係好信自己d同學...可能因為果一件事...

其實我好唔中意比人忽略,,,次次組長開cell...我都感覺...唔係感覺係直情比人忽略...拎住張唔同既紙...要帶d我好唔中意既野...

佢地有佢地傾...我...想搵個人傾都冇...今日開組果時真係好想喊出黎...好辛苦...可唔可以唔關我事唔好叫我...我去黎有咩用呀!係度聽又聽唔明...搭又搭唔到任何一句...所以話我好可能有一日係生命頌消失...

生命頌...比左好多好既回憶我...但係近日比我既回憶都係差...

我望住班組員...我真係覺得自己好無能為力...望住靜靜果組...多人到...今日仲要比人話我地嘈...

你估我想嫁咩...點解d組員嘈...要賴哂我...!好辛苦呀我有咩做錯...我鬧又鬧過...講心底話又講完...都冇人理我...有冇人會明白我......

因為咁...我e家都冇哂以前咁追求神...靈修又冇祈禱又冇...可能係我之前冇乜唔開心...神都比夠開心我...e家要比哂d唔開心難捱既野我...幸好我知有一個人點都支持我...

好啦發洩完...不過今次發洩硬係好怪...唔單止冇放輕...反而好似加重左咁...

連續喊左兩日,,,尋晚傾住電話喊,,,今日趴係度喊,,,

我一d都唔堅強,,,我唔想人地睇我好似好堅強咁...

被人遺棄既感覺係一d都唔好受...超難頂,,,

我真係咁乞人僧咩,,,我真係咁唔討人中意咩...

難道除左屋企人,,,除左神,,,除左妳...其他所謂既朋友都係對我假...

一日之內比兩個所謂既朋友一腳踢開...朋友...

被遺忘的總是我,,,

不經不覺都冇打日記一個星期多啦…話就話考完mock,,,但係我對自己既表現一d都唔滿意...

依排既心情又係起起伏伏,,,完左mock好開心,,,情緒高漲...但係派卷,,,又跌低左...

成日玩成日hae都好高漲...點知一諗到班會入面既野同埋黎緊既會考,,,好重...

加上依幾日心情都唔好...我唔用唔太好形容啦,,,因為e家既係直情唔好。

哈~我唔係大方既人...啦...哎好煩呀,,,點解係我好需要有人同我傾計既時候身邊好友都唔見哂...

好耐好耐未試過咁唔開心...好耐好耐未試過比一樣野煩到我咁...

可能根本就係錯...

哎...我要點做呀!點解冇人可以比我傾下訴下...我d眼淚忍左好耐好耐

唉...究竟人死左係咪會咩煩惱都冇哂,,,咁我寧願唔上天堂啦...e個係我一直既諗法

天堂,,,其實我真係一d都唔希罕...屋企人上唔上到...我更加係冇感覺,,,

有時真係覺得...我咁既人信左個神係一個錯既決擇...做乜都比人束縛住...

上唔上到天堂根本就冇所謂...?對我黎講係...

唉~~~~~煩煩煩~~~~~

我係一個一d都唔中意自己喊既人...更加係一個唔中意自己有負面情緒既人...

但係會考,,,屋企人關係,,,仲有其他野,,,都帶比我好多唔好既野...

-----有冇人話我知其實做人有咩意義嫁...咩方向都冇-----