Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can hurt too.

Girls may not resort to physical violence as often as boys do, but they are more prone to verbal abuse. Gossiping, backstabbing and cyber bullying are but a few of the ways girls bully other girls.

Typically, during their early years, girls crave peer acceptance and belonging, says Kamy Yeung Mei-chui, a school social worker for Hong Kong Children and Youth Services.

“Girls gossip because they think having the information makes them more likable or accepted.”

Amanda, a 14-year-old student, agrees. “Every girl wants to fit in,” she says. “If a blabber mouth is the leader of a pack, which is probably how she became the leader in the first place, then chances are everyone else in that group becomes blabber mouths as well.”

Amanda recalls backstabbing a good friend who backstabbed her first. “She told everyone I got on her nerves,” Amanda says, without elaborating. “I told people that she’s not what people think, that she’s not beautiful at all.”

But there were consequences. “Now we’re not talking, which is sad because we used to spend so much time together.”

Ms Yeung says the outcome might have been different if Amanda had thought about the consequences first. “When your friend, for instance, says something bad about another, what should you do? Agree? Ignore?

“Whatever you choose, think about the consequences. Your gossipy friend might like you more for agreeing with her, but you’ll also have to deal with feelings of guilt, or even with losing the friend you betrayed.”

The best way to deal with bullying is to be prepared for it, say experts.

The first thing Ms Yeung advises girls who have been victims of verbal abuse is to face their painful emotions first.

“I ask girls to deal with their feelings,” she says, adding that they need to realise that none of the negative labels put on them really apply.

“Sometimes a girl will think, ‘everyone says this about me, maybe it’s true’, but it is very important for her to realise it isn’t true.”

Ms Yeung says it is important for girls to focus on their strengths.

Carmen Kwok, a youth services officer at Kely Support Group, suggests changing the subject or ignoring the situation. “If you don’t like what a group of girls is doing, move on. There are many other girls who you might feel more comfortable with.”

Gossip tends to be a vicious cycle, learned from the media, parents and peers, she adds.

“It is up to you to break the cycle.”