What is my actually will??
As I say, I don't know myself too.
I don't understand myself.

Today, I think I have promised to go to the event.
But I don't know why I don't leave there at that time.
Before, I said I didn't want to go.
That's why??
Because I need to have specific wear and go to a far place and the event is quite night.

Because of the above reasons, I don't want to go.
As my analysis, is that mean because of my lazy, so I don't want to go to the event?
Or I just want to go but nobody go with me, so I don't want to go?
Well, I don't know about it in fact.

I find that, I really don't understand myself.