It is hard to tell you how I feel when you said goodbye. Your last glance implied farewell to me..........I finished the last slice of the pizza you left for me..........Should I feel happy of it? 
  When you waved hands, I just glanced at you, smailed and said bye. I even could not believe I still could smile to you. Who knows what my herat felt...... Even so........i still can distinguish what is rational and what is emotional.......just being calm.........doing my rational stuff..........

  The next day, I wanna got drunk suddenly.........so did I. My life seems to be messy up by all that stuff......but I know it doesnt matter, coz I believe, Jess will be a good girl again on the next day. Isnt it?