*A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants; a woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want. *A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband; a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. * A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend; a successful woman is one who can find such a man. * To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little; to be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. * Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die. * Any married man should forget his mistakes-there’s no use in two people remembering the same thing. * A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t; a man marries a woman expecting that she wont change and she does. * A woman has the last word in any argument; anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. * There are two times when a man doesnt understand a woman: before marriage and after.