其實我都真係好情緒化...一有d野諗唔通..就成個人謝晒...同埋我會在意一d微不足道既野...相信s都唔知道我咁care呢樣野.....總係覺得s係一個忽冷忽熱既人....同埋佢莫名其妙地影響住我既情緒...不過最近比較想認識a多d...雖然a平時都幾中2玩..但係我總係覺得佢係一個好靜既人..可能係我同佢唔熟先有呢種感覺...佢認真既時候真係好吸引呀.... 不過同a對句都只係一句起兩句止.我問佢答..好想改變下...
又再一次證明我真係好懶....同埋我係一個滿口藉口既人...
都考完統測幾日啦..尋日開始派卷..bio高分過上年呀..仲俾miss讚..真係好開心呀..不過原來高分過我既人大有人在..頓時個種開心既感覺無晒...人真係好難唔同人比較...咁多科入面...唯一令我開心既係bio...因為真係比上年進步左..不過宜家就唔知有咩咁開心..因為自己係咁低分.....唉...英文唔及格..得我一個咋..好樣衰呀...雖然我知我英文差...但平時都會謹謹及格嘛...今次就無咁好彩啦...雖然我想英文進步..但係得咁少時間..好難有咩大進步..宜家保持住水準算啦....a.maths如想像中唔及格....但如果我小心既話..我就及格lu..不過無計啦..自己唔小心..無得怨...本來12分...但係自己唔分氣...差一分及格...所以就拎左出去減分...變左11分啦...我都覺得自己好似有少少問題,,,但係俾我見到老師改錯左..又好難忍住叫佢唔改番...所以我就好似個傻左咁..叫miss減番我一分...不過原來1分係4分咁多...搞到自己有少少後悔添..不過算啦..自己決定左既野..自己要負責任..跟住phys仲唔開心...本來及格係值得開心既事..不過原來好多人都好高分...同埋我係phys度真係付出左好多架...無諗過考得咁差..咁究竟係我溫得唔熟..定係我根本未識呢...救命呀..本來對phys有番少少興趣架..不過宜家又再受到一次打擊...唔中2phys啦...點解d人會覺得留班既成績會好d呢...係我既角度睇...就係因為成績唔好先會留班嘛...成績好既話..晨早升左啦...搞到我壓力仲大..人地成日都以為我成績ok..不過唔係lo..開始懷疑緊自己當初決定留班...我唔係搵藉口..但係我真係唔係讀書既材料..因為係既話...唔會讀多年都差過人啦...真係好難明點解要用成績黎肯定一個人....不過呢個世界有好多野我都係唔明架啦..咁唯有接受啦...不過真係好唔開心呀...考得咁差....問題係呢d只係學校考試都咁差..咁何況出到去....另外..細佬真係令我好擔心..因為佢真係對所有野唔嗲唔吊...我仲緊張過佢..但係我自己都顧掂..又好難去幫佢...但係身為家姐..咩都幫唔到佢..真係好無用...我真係唔知點算呀...唔理佢又唔得..但係理又理掂...真係好想咩都唔理呀...我中2諗野..諗埋諗埋一大堆野...好似樣樣都關自己事咁...而且最中2用一大埋藉口同自己解釋...又中2成日講歪理...算啦..我就係咁架啦...我就係咁乞人憎架啦..
由放榜完之後我就無寫日記lu....其實我都寫左日記好耐...不過每日寫都有d攰...所以就無寫啦....今日有d想打下日記...因為太耐無寫日記...搞到有好多野都擺左係心好耐....都已經開左學好耐啦,,,,雖然依然都係著個套校服....每日都係行一樣既路返學...不過有好多野都唔同左...同學唔同左...老師唔同左...感覺係最唔同...講真..我真係無諗過會留番係呢間學校繼續讀書....更加無諗過會留班...本來一心諗住放低晒呢d唔開心既野...不過宜家又要再面對過...我覺得今年既壓力仲大呀...因為我好驚呢班既老師呀...佢地好惡呀...同埋人地會覺得留班既咩都識...但我唔係lo...其實我有好多野都唔識....而且有好多野都唔想學..因為太難啦....同埋我係一個最中2搵藉口既人...d野難..我就唔想做...我諗野好極端...一有少少野..我就諗到好壞....其實我都唔知由幾時變到咁...我總係覺得身邊無好既野發生...可能係我察覺唔到姐...早幾日睇左本書...諗左好多野...有d人一直向上爬...但係生命好似好空虛..我覺得自己都係咁...因為回望自己...好似無做過咩特別有意義既事...個個人為左讀書..為左搵份好工..為左賺錢...但係到頭來究竟係為左咩呢......唔知點解呢幾日又有唔想返學既念頭...因為都唔知返學做咩..我一直都係混混噩噩咁過..都過左十幾年啦...有好多野都好難明..唔知點解我無朋友...唔知點解人地會有咁多朋友..點解佢可以同個個都咁熟...而點解佢同佢就有咁多野傾...點解佢同我又無野傾..好明顯係我既問題....又難怪待人接物有堂上啦...唉...真係好難明...不過自己一個既時候..可以諗下野...而且可以睇下人與人係點溝通...唉...睇下讀埋呢年會點....不過都唔會好好架啦..未來係點...都無諗過..而且係無法估計....但願有貴人扶助啦.......
