sth wrong with me again-_-

wt the hell` y there hv so much thing happen on me?

the first thing is the fdship problem..

i think its fine right n0w.. h0pe so

but i don't want to happen it one more time.. is hurt enough

the second one.. is the problem with my family><

i think that's n0t a big problem to me n0w

they seemz fine.. didn't always scold at me

0f c0z i am happy 0f that.. but i am thinking that y they are so gd n0w-_-

0k. the last problem and it used to be the m0st important problem

is that the thing between me and bb

hate to keep on thinking 0f that.. its horrible

17/10/2008

i sent an email to bb after we chat at msn and he went to school

"i said that i hv too much thingz to handle these dayz.. and sick 0f  these

and i felt our distant become m0re and m0re longer after i sd msg with TD

we seemz didn't find each other as that m0re as b4"

i hate that s0 much.. everytime when i feel down i just want him to find me

but i f0rget that he don't kn i happy 0r n0t.. just always wait

and finally we didn't find each other

that's n0t the result that i want to see..

"i want to turn back as b4"

then i went to sleep// when i get up i receive an email from him

that make me cry.. "he said he kn wt i wanna do.. then he said see u my best fd"

sth like that.. 0h that make me feel sad..

but when i look at that f0r the first time.. i hv nth to say

then i cried,

later on.. we seemz fine again` that just scare me

and i found that we really with sth different compare with b4

sigh.. sometime i just think that if we break up that maybe better than n0w

but i really don't want.. the m0st important reason aren't i l0ve him s0 much

although i am. but is i nd him so much

if one day,, i find another one to in his pose and i dont nd him anym0re

he will disappear in my life.. that's n0t wt i want to see

i want bb to stay with me.. and i want to live with bb` sometimez

but i kn i won't.. and i don't nd him s0 soon

as wt i said b4.. someone is coming to his pose.. doing some of his j0b

anywayz,, i think i am still loving bb so much

he is the m0st important man in my life right n0w.

it will change it soon

he find me n0w f0r saying he miss me.. h0h0 me2

and said that he had counted after h0w many day then he will back

53. waiting f0r bb's call and waiting f0r his back

y0h0` i am still bb lover ma? h0pe so

there are nth to say anymore.. see u next time fd

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hold.