I had a dinner with my friend, cooked by myself, I like this. I enjoy share my happy with my friend. He has a son, sometime childen is good, you can have expectation on him, even we can't do by myself.

For example, his son like music, he feel happy when he hear classcial music. I want to teach him piano, because i want him can be greater that me. I have expectation on him, even i can't do it by myself.

I always say i want a normal life, i don't want to work too hard because i belive in fate. My friend told me that i am trying to escape from myself. I was chichken to face the other failure, he is right, but what can i do ?

I am so tired, i don't want to face the other change in my life. I was chicken to face myself, even just pass my whole life like normal, like a little boy in the world. I was not the only one, so ?