This would be again another month I separate myself from my family and live more depending on my own.
After nights in the new home at H-Cube, I realize what could be different while living alone. For one thing when I was living with Ka-Ming in Kowloon City, it is quite another now to adapt to a lifestyle before feeling comfortable with my own self. Although Ka-Ming and me seldom got into long conversation, we enjoyed the moments when something such as a TV series entertained both of us. As living together we faces difficulties, but fortunately we did not get into tension.
It’s now not only a mood of lighthearted that I’m again looking for. I‘m also required to remain hopeful for better days in front of me. I find that living alone may not be relaxing. For this time I could feel plainly my despair or nerves. As what “Warrior of light: the manual” quotes, there is emotional rubbish in our mind. It consists of precautions that elderly told us, and anxiety that I felt about myself. The book tells us to separate the useful from the unnecessary. We have to dispose this emotional rubbish.
I admit that I am fearful of an uneasy future but I don’t know why. May be that I have shared some bad feeling with my father as he has experienced jobless. The fear initiates an idea that I have not prepared well for bad thing to happen.
Then I now sit back and think. Why it is not the time to let my back unweighted?
| 
