| 返學在即,我真係好唔想返學丫,就算曰日係屋企,就算幾無聊都好...我都係唔想.唔愿意...
我唔知自己想點,想做d咩,想要d咩...常日都唔想做功課,又未温過書,都知想點..
我都知自己係係度逃避,逃避....
每次家人問我將來做d咩,有咩打算??我都覺得好慚愧,好怕辜負佢哋對我ge祈望,
佢哋每次問起,我都會好驚,唔知點答.就因為咁,我次次都係避重就輕咁避開or故意扯開話題..
唔係我冇愿望,唔係我冇想過我ge將來,唔係我唔想講,而係我冇勇氣講,冇信心講,唔知點講,
我好驚講咗出黎自己又做唔到,唔單止自己失望.傷心,亦另佢哋失望.傷心~~
呢個星期ge心情好差,十分差,非常之差...咩都唔想做,邊度都唔想去...
家姐問我仲想唔想返鄉下,我話唔想返了.佢問我點解?我唔知點答.佢就話自己想返都冇得返,我冇答佢...
點解唔想返了??原因之一,我唔想離開電視機.原因之二,返去可能會好悶,冇人陪.最大ge原因係我呢個星期ge心情極之,極之差.
而且我唔想我鄉下ge親人當我係大人物咁對待,佢哋會對你好到不得了,咩都就晒你,向你噓寒問暖,就算唔得閒都會就你.陪你,表姐又可能會為咗你由廣州返鄉下陪你,你返到鄉下,佢吔可能要去接你,你走了,佢哋會去送你..種種都另到我覺得好有壓迫感...
呢d種種都覺得我返去係一種麻煩,帶啤佢哋麻煩,佢哋覺得我係種麻煩.我又驚佢哋唔係真心,只係做啤我睇.(我有時會想就算佢哋係真心,都總會有唔愿意ge時候)呢d都唔係我想ge,唔係我想佢哋咁做
我唔係咩大人物,我只係個普通人,只係一個住係香港ge人,冇咩稀奇,亦冇咩光榮,我受唔起咁大ge...
唔係我身在福中不知福,而係多了,過火了,就會另到你覺得不安,總知就覺得有點...唉~~我都唔知點講 |
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