yesterday night, you really blow off my mood
we should have a dinner tonight ..
but you rejected our plan at the last minute ``
but it's still okay, i can accept that you have something more important ..
then, i asked you to online to chat with me ..
you asked me to wait for you at first ..
but ended up, you said that you are not at home ``
i was so pissed off by you ..
i really hate to be a fool ! grrrrrr ...
if you know you can't do it, just don't say it in a bombastic way !
you asked me ' you angry your dear ? '
i really don't know how to answer you ..
feel like telling you YES, but i din say it ..
i feel that you always make me mad when i am mad at you !
but, i din say anything to you ..
just tell you that i am sleepy .. and i need to go to bed ..
i controlled myself not to get into a temper ..
and i did it, i din lose my temper ..
so i went to bed immediately ..
i was exhausted last night ``
but i din sleep well ..
there is a lots of questions spinning in my mind >.<
i really hate it when things turns to be something i din expected !
i felt so lost & blur ..
i don't know what i am thinking, i just feel so stress ..
and started to think about my past =.=
when we first started together on 2004
we argued almost everyday ..
there are not even a day is tranquil !
it was really a nightmare to both of us ..
but we still can tolerate each other =)
i once thought that we would break up very soon ..
but you're always by my side holding my hand ..
even that we argue frequently, we still love each other a lot !
sometimes i really amaze ourselves .. haha ^ ^
when we started our argument ..
many rumors came out ..
there were peoples said that i am the one who forced you to be with me ..
there were peoples said that i ruined your life ..
there were also peoples said that we should be separated ..
many rumors came from many peoples mouth !
but i cant do anything ..
because there is freedom of speech, they are allow to say anything they like
and both of us gone through many problems ..
i remembered there are peoples is making us to break up ..
there are peoples who hates me a lot for being with you ..
and ... [ some problems, i don't feel like mentioning it anymore ]
those troubles that really make me sick of it !
and you still said that i am a little girl, i am very childish >.<
duh .. it's fine !
but after one and a half years, everything came to an end !
bitter relationship turns to be sweet ^ ^
our relationship like suddenly boosted ! haha ..
i was freaking happy ``
our arguments din continued ..
and we understand each other more .. ``
and we lasted our relationship for 3 years and 6 months ..
i am so proud of it =)
but i wish that our relationship really can last forever *
yesterday, when i chatted with a friend [babyvon]
i told her that i feel that we started our relationship too early ..
yeah , i really do feel it a lot ..
although now we are in a sweet sweet love progress ..
but everything is like too fast ..
i am afraid that time passes, you will get bored of everything ..
i am worry =(
you once said that you will love me for life ..
you wanted to marry me ..
but how old am i? just 16 ..
we don't know what's going to happen next ..
our future is a surprise to us , we won't know what will happen ..
i really wish that now i am already grown up ..
maybe 19 or 20 ..
at that age, i guess i will have more confident to keep you by my side =)
but i guess it will be a long time for me to reach that age ..
there would be another a few more 365 days >.<
i know you love me a lot ..
when we travel together, spend time together ..
you prove to me, you really love me ..
you show your love to me ..
and i love you a lot too ..
but at this age, i tell people this ..
people will feel that this is ridiculous ..
i wanted to express my feelings to you, but ...
what am i thinking?
what is on my mind ..