I am terribly busy these days. Presentations, papers, tutorials and reports have taken me up a large portion of time. I have to turn in at about 12:00 every night. I feel hard! I want to complain. But isn't it my duties? What I have just mentioned are responsibilities of a student. Complaining about them just shows that I am incapable of carrying out my duties. So what is the point of being unhappy or stressed? I am reflecting on myself.

Now, I am also considering whether I should go to the prayer team tonight. I really love to go. However, I have work to do tonight. Should I go then? Should I drop all the books and attend the meeting? Lord, I really want to go. But how should I decide?

幾天沒寫日記了,日子一天一天地過,有點不知道自己在幹什麼。功課方面暫時鬆一口氣,但一有空就想起找工作的事,我是逃不掉這一事實的。

與此同時,我接了一份新的補習。但是我本來已有兩份了,加上這份新的,總共有三份,我可不想把自己忙壞了。我是一個渴望享受生活的人,金錢對我來說只是個工具,若不是很有需要,我不想強迫自己去做讀書以外的事來賺取更多金錢。這個想法令我越來越想推掉之前的其中一份補習,即五年級的那個女孩。除了太忙這個原因外,我想最關鍵的因素是我感到自己幫不了那個小朋友,我感到吃力和沒有滿足感。

我真的把那份工作辭掉了(這是幾分鐘前的事,現在的心情還是不知怎樣的。)剩下的是兩份補習。其實那兩份的工資是很低的,但我覺得教得很有意義,我能發揮所長;我也可以有自主權,這是我嚮往的工作模式。

回想今天早上的一節課,放學的時候,老師忽然問我, "What is your dream in educaiton?" 當時我有點哑口無言,不知該怎樣回應。想了一會兒,我告訴老師他讓我反省自己的教學理念,這是我以前沒想過的。以前,我只想找一份工作,至於之後會發生什麼事,我從沒想過。在這情況下,在面試的時候,我相信自己除了回答問題外,其他東西就不會想了。那個老師讓我知道我要清楚自己想要什麼,再看那所學校適不適合自己,這樣才不會place myself in a wrong context.

在選擇補習的過程中,我也發現自己喜歡什麼型式的補習。之前我有幾個失敗的經歷,自己一直以來都認為自己不好,沒有能力教好學生,但現在我明白到那只不過是自己到了不適合自己的地方而已。感謝主給我這麼多不同的經歷。

昨晚很乖啊,10:15就爬上床了,因為連續幾晚熬夜,很是辛苦。昨天也看了兩隻小婦人的vcd。或許是因為它是很太久之前的作品吧,有點兒悶,不過當中的英文很容易聽到,不錯呢。我發覺如果花時間看電視,不如看一些有意義的電影吧,我很喜歡這樣做啊^^。

不知道是否因為太累,我容易陷入悶悶不樂的光景,我要加倍因主喜樂才行。

Finished the Humanity presentation. Now I feel relieved! Thank Lord though I think the presentation was a disaster. But I will rejoice in Lord as we are "the champion". With Lord, all things are possible. I need not be put down due to a little frustration. Little grass never gives up!!

I must admit that I am exhausted now. What I want to do is to relax, relax and relax. However, I have to tutor a student in the afternoon, about half an hour later. Kev needs my help in English, and I am willing to do so. I am still not sure if he will come today. Anyway, I am available. By the way, I need his help in the purchase of a pair of sports shoes, as I want to jog (to keep fit and healthy) Sylvia needs to hurray!

There are so so so many presentations these few weeks. I am tired of them! I would not have been so frustrated if the results had not been that unfair! I hate presentations. They are time consuming. Furthermore, the peer marking scheme is unreliable! How come our group got the second lowest marks? It is so strange, isn't it? I don't want to do any more presentations. Yet I have one tomorrow. That one is so difficult, in which I do not have confidence at all. What can I do, my Lord?!

Please pray for me. Besides, I want to rejoice even in times of depression. It is the Valentine's Day today. I am going to pass it with my dearest sisters .