Today is friday... yay the end of the week... so I can feel it, there's a strange feeling between me and you... as when we go and grabbed the lunch tickets... but as we were walking down the canteen... not more than three sentences goes back and forth...(during school time, I saw you and her were smsing each other back and forth, that suddenly made my heart sunk, i felt as you texting her more than you texted me and felt as she is your dating partner, but what am I? Sometimes I'm so confuse... I don't quite understand of why i felt that way...I hate the feeling of you making me felt as she is more important than me... I can't remember when was the last time you called to wake me up... or even having sweet message with me... I don't remember when was the last time you texted me frequently... seems like all the usual habits you do for me has already transfer to her... i'm so confused, wish i knew what is happening)  then... after school, you invited me to go the mall with you.. but as we were on the bus, i felt the time goes by slower than usual, just because we both act totally as friend behavior... then when we went to the mall and grabbed your books... the feeling was so weird as we were not dating at all... as you didn't really want to held my hand...or afraid of seeing similar faces from school... i'm very confused... >3< I wished you can tell me how you think and feel..... But then as we get off the mini van... you started playing with me, so then I though we were fine... but then it was time for us to leave... so then you really respect me for not kissing me or helding my hand until we're out of the tunnels... good deal...That was really good... I liked it a lot.. So then as we get off at KT, as we were walking.... and getting off in the middle of the road, you were so caring for me and helding my hang to make sure that i will not be hurted...Then we walked to your work place,(I asked you if you worried for the kids' parent and your boss seeing us holding hands, you said I don't care! and when i tried to removed my hands, you grabbed my hands even tighter as you didn't want to let go of me) and  so we saw one of the kids that you taught from last year...haha it was funny with him taunting you... it was hilarious  Then as we arrived at the place, I sat down at the sofa... hoping that you don't need to work... But 5 o'clock, you told me you had to work... so I waited till all the kids go into the classroom, then I sat for extra 5 minutes, so then I left  and as I was going off the elavotor... I felt the time was going very slowly...I couldn't help but dragged myself to walk slowly...as I turned around the corner, I saw a store... at first I wanted to drink something to cheer my self up... but then I ened up ordering a bowl of noodle. 5 minutes later, you called me saying you didn't have to work... my heart was so happy...so then I waited for you at the store... I don't think anyone would understand my mood at that moment... as not able to have something and then able to received it again... then we went to the mall(but as we were walking around in the mall, you were so busy replying or reading text message... I tried my best to turn around to the other side to make myself not feeling so bad... at least is a excuse to make myself feel as I dont' see whatever you're doing will make myself feels better... but the truth is no matter how much i pretened I don't see... the truth is I know what you're doing... and knows that you're actually replying her, furthermore, I felt the way is tiyr heart and mind is with her even your body is with me... i felt as I'm just a subsitutue for her... I felt as she is more important toward you... honestly, I don't wish to mind all your business or even of who you're friend with, because i understand the privacy... but can you not doing such thing as making me guessing and being suspective and being so not important .have you ever think how I feel? Honestly I don't care who is your friend or more... but can you not be so sneaky behind my back and thinks I don't know... but clearly I know what you're doing...I hate having the feeling as you cares for her more, but I know the truth is you care about me but just at the moment of texting makes me felt as I wasn't important... so i don't know how should I think??)... you were making me carrying your books ... friggin heavy..... then as we walked around the book store, you kept pulling my hair tie down... because you liked me with my hair down...so then you took both of my hair tie(s) so I had to search a bathroom fast and wuick and to calm my hair down so it is not so wavey and blah Then afterward we went to the game zone places, we played games.... I felt that suddenly our mind is more likely getting closer and closer... so after game zone, you had to go home, but i wouldn't let you go and so you couldn't get off the train  so then you been with me for 30 more minutes...as we were on the train or waiting for the train, I talked with you for what had been making me upset and about yesterday, and I told you but your reaction was just lisetning... as didn't really know how to say or what to say... but what I really concerns is how you think and feel...I want to have both of us understand each other more instead of just knowing each other at the same level... i want to know how you felt and I want us to able to share the deepest feeling and not having to held back... I don't want bad and negative feeling being hiden because it is bad for us and the relationship..... Before I left, I told you if there's anything please talk to me!! as a pair of couple, suppose dealing with everything happy or sad althogether, problems shouldn't be one deal with.... So this is my day... but i think I need to find you and talk about the issue of texting her, firstly, i'm not limited your social circle... and i understand in this worlld, is either a boy or girl to be friends, but perhaps a way of not making me felt so not important... Furthermore, My mind set if you needed to liked her, you would've done it a long time ago.. why wait till now? so I'm 100% trust you that you will not hurt me, and I believe that you're heart is directing toward me and not her.. so I been telling myself to believe this truth... Next month, we're moving out to a new house... not good... *sigh*