2 monthes.... i don't think he remembered what today is... (guys usually don't need to remember) So after breakfast and cutting hair, i went out to find him.. then we went ice-skate... for about 150 minutes, damn i fall so many times... but it was fun getting to know your friends better.... then you held my hand for at least 90 minutes... then we were ice-skating with each other and of course sometimes you get me the balances so i won't fall but unfounately, sometimes you fall... XD it was really funny when you get taunted by your friends.. friggin hilarious.. then afterward... we both were tired.. so i shared my PB&J with you... yummy... very tasty.... then afterward... we went for tea time... then i knew you wouldn't be eating with me so i taken out... then after all i though we were gonna say good bye since you have to have dinner with you friend, so i said just go, i will be fine... since i'm going to the book store, but you kept following me... i kept telling you that you will be late and you acted like you didn't care... of course i really would liked you stayed with me just hanging out... but i know onces a promise is a promise... so i ut on my own position., i wouldn't want my friend to ditched me for her / his dating partners... although it felt awkward knowing that you having dinner with her... i choose to act tough... but i'm sure you saw right through me that i was just acting to be tough... but what else can i do? telling you not to go and stayed with me, that's a very self-fish way... so after you left i stayed in the book store for about 15 more minutes extra... as i was reading... fucking A... it usually would make me felt better but it didn't so i left the store( i relaly don't know how should i feel... jealous or what? i feel so confused, if i'm too jealous, it would not be good for the relationships, and is not that i don't care... it just it was a dilema's position...as for myself i want you to be with me, as for a friend, shouldn't be ditching friends) [furthermore, it created awkward feelings for me, but i choose to take it all the negative feelings by myself]... didn't feel like reading or anything else...as i walked out the mall... it was pouring badly....damn it... it was lighting and thundering...damn it... i dont' have umbrella and i don't have you... CRAP.... but i didn't really care... so i ran out in the rain... damn.. i was soaking wet by the time i get the mtr station... my whole hair was wet and my dress was wet... holy shit... but honestly it felt very good with the rain falling on me... i just hope i don't get sick because right after i get soaking wet i walked right into the mall damn it the AC was frozen cold... blurrrr..... I like the feeling of the rain falling on me, because i felt as it is crying for my sadness and is doing the job for me...and there's a qoute from a book said " walking in the rain and others wouldn't know if you're crying or not.." it is from a book i read a long time ago.. and it suddenly popped up in my mind today... As i was on the bus by myself, i was thinking how should i feel about this...i hate the feeling of jealousy... makes me somewhat upset... i hate this feeling.. because the feeling of jealousy can destory a relationship completely... i'm so confused.... what the hell can i do? i know i shouldn't be jealous because it really is not a big thing to be jealous of... so.... my decision had made.....  for my further feelings... i perfer be hand written....

這就是愛嗎(歌詞)

你確定這就是愛嗎
真的愛我嗎
手牽著手漫步斜陽　就當作浪漫

兩個人眺望遠方
以爲愛的晴朗
當我回頭望　卻　已淚濕了眼眶

當夕陽變成星光　當愛情換了方向
你一如過往　對愛太緊張
但未來又會怎樣
未知的明天總讓我徬徨
誰給我力量

我不怕你　愛不愛我　
只害怕你　以為愛我
抓緊我　不算擁有　你總學不會放手

我不怕你　不懂愛我
只怕你　把習慣　當作愛
你猜不透　我要什麼

喔　你猜不透　我要什麼