i hate today i had this crazy dream mor elike a nightmare i woke up from it and i know somehow is giving me the hint of jealous..i know it becuz it has something to deal with kenneth and mike and somehow kenneth and i were dating but after he pushes all my friend away from me and so i became a loner mom also want me to get marry with kenenth when i'm in love iwth mike already of course i won't and the only one that was in my heart was mike it was just so weird  and then mike and kenneth fight and i tried to stop them it didn't work so i woke up froma nightmare WOW that is a crazy dream....!! WOW

Then today when i return my book to teh library  after i returned the book i couldn't find the thing that meant so much to me and i asked anne if she know where it is and she said she putted it in the book that i returned i was like OMG no u fucking didn't and i cried becuz is something really important to me and i want it back and the reason she putted it in my book becuz she didn't want my aunt to sees it and she didn't even tell me when i return it.. OMG i tho myself was so stupid for not even checking it i seriously want to kill myself becuz is something that is really confidental and she just let it flow over her head why did she put in my book and not my draws what a fucking dumbass...??-sigh- i guess all i can do is just forgiving him or else... i'll be the one in pain and when i get on mike is not even on and i wonder where had he been.. i need him and hes not on... omg.. i'm so stupid please just killl me now and don't let all my stupidness spread all over the world

then my aunt and uncle treating me like i'm 3 and i hate that feelings and my uncle said all u can do is stay at home and do nothing for christmas screw it if i have to i will walk to somewhere that truely belong to me in it which means heaven perhaps it means i should kill myself somehow i don't know how but maybe i will fly...-sigh- perhaps i shouldn't talk like this and scare those that cares about me... BUT HEY... i won't becuz the person taht will in teh most pain is my mom and mike and other fiends that cares abt me... and i wouldn't even be the one taht is hurt and it would be all my friends... SRy i just love u guys too much and i promise i won't do such a silly thing like that i'm really sorry of even having a mind like that. slapping my self thank you for being there for me i need u all and thanks for being there for me when i need help

so that's my day went out pretty awkward as u can say...-sigh- hope tomorrow will be better

"don't lost hope" ~ mike

thanks for everything all my friends