I know my English sucks but I happen to be in the mood of writing in En. (I'll surely appreciate your advice in English writing.)

The truth is that I've just finished watching several episodes of some American soup operas I'm following. Then I felt a little sad and lonely without knowing what to do next and without any company now.

The reasons why I felt this way may be that I'm exhausted today and the last episodes I watched were touching. 

I'd rather talk about the latter. The soup opera I've been talking about is Bothers & Sisters. Though it's only a soup opera, it really touches me every time I watch it. I like the feeling of a real family. The quibbles about household affairs, the tangling relationships, the unhappy events popping up one after another... All these didn't make me feel uncomfortable or unpleasant but move me to tears by the warmth of a family revealed even in such situations. 

There must be some errors in my sentence structure. I'm sorry about that and I'm trying to improve my writing skill. As you may know, I like to write long and complex sentence in Chinese and unfortunately I brought this bad habit to my En writing. All I want is to express my intricate feelings, which I always failed.

As it comes to family, to home, I feel more powerless and helpless to express myself clearly. Sometimes I may not even know exactly what I'm feeling.

In recent days, I've been subconsciously looking back. I tried to reconnect with my past, specifically my thoughts and feelings and the whole condition five or six years ago and my way along.

These days when I began to think, which means my spiritual condition is a lot better now, my mind was sometimes flooded with thoughts and feelings that I cannot see and analyze easily. Once I dug into them, I didn't feel good.

Oh, I'm far off the topic OTL Let's stop here today. Thank you for reading so patiently.