sick again...

why i am always sick...

god...

tell me...

am i doing things you dislike?

so why do you make me suffer?

to the one...

you know i am suffering...

but why did you just ignord my tears?

tell me...

you know all things of me...

but why don't you lend a hand to me!!!

do you just know how to fell alseep and ignord all things about me!!!!!

tell me...

i won't ask you anymore once you tell me...

why do i need to suffer...

just give me what i want and i would go...

you know what i want, right?

you know how deep i want it, right?

but why don't you give it to me?

i just want to cry...

but i won't...

to tell you that i am strong enough to suffer all these...

to tell you that i won't fell despite everything gone wrong!!!

to tell you that i won't be the loser!!!

to tell you that i am able enough for you to give me the thing i wnat from my deepest place of my heart...

but why don't you give it to me...

i just want it to make me feel a bit better...

just want to make me feel that i am a bit healable...

just want to make me feel that i am not such ugly!!!

i know from the deep deep place of my heart...

everything pretended would be broken one day...

you are too shiny to me...

why can you all shine without pretending anything?

unlike me...

i have to pretend all the things before i can show a little shine in front of you...

tell me...

why i have to suffer...

no one would ever understand me...

can i say i would like to give up?

i'm sure you won't let me go...

but why don't just let me try...

i know i just like a little kid yawning for a toy...

but it's never mind...

cause i know how ugly i am...

and...

how deeply i hope to escape from this dirty water...

but i know...

even though i beg for it...

you just would say no...

so...

i just hope to say sorry to you...

for my rudeness...

to you, my heart...