I've been thinking about should i write my blog again or what, Im too lazy to type lol,
but when I went through the things I wrote in the old time,
it was silly and it reminds me a lot of memory.
And now here i am in Los Angeles,
I know,the place i was dieing to go,
and now im here, it's really not like what i thought,
and i learnt a lot for the whole past year.
Tried a lot of new things,
The first year in LA was a total mess!
And now im sitting here,
thinking about the reason why i came here.
However I always know why i came here for.
For 2 big reasons.

And since last week, dont really know what happened with me,
I've been crying in eveywhere else,
On the street, in the bus,in the restaurant,in shower,on my bed,while eating dinner etc........
Whats wrong with me?
I feel so lonely that i never felt like this before,
it's horrible, I really wish my friends were all here with me,
going back to where we were,
Laughters,Cares, Love.
thats all I really want, is it really hard to feel like this again ?
to feel like happy.
Happy happy, when was the last time I felt like this???
I really cant be able to rmember,
it has been a long time huh.?!
And now,Im crying while im typing this.

Winter is coming, it's my favorite HATE season.
That kind of chill,loneliness,insecure is killing me.
And especially Im scared of the darkness,

I cant figure out whats the right or wrong things to do anymore.
Maybe there is no right and wrong in this world.
Wrong thing can be right,
Right thing can be wrong.
There's only things u wanna do or u dont.

And talking about saying good-bye,
I got a lot of experience about that since i came here.
Everyone is gonna leave,
going back to where they came from.
Good-bye is like a routine in my life,
Hello,Nice to meet u,Hope to see u again, and Good-bye!
Or, Hi do I know you? Why u know my name? How do u get my number?
Anyway,sometimes life in USA is funny,
people ALWAYS ask your number even when u just walking on the street....

And in here, I have 2 VERY  good friends.
For one, her name is Anna,
I will never forget her, the first time i saw her,
I never thought she will become my best girl-friend in the states.
I cant imagine what my life was without her.
A LOT of memory between us.
I must admit, we are crazy :)
Coffee Table was out favorite spot,
we went there so very often.
And now it was closed....
The first party we went together was in someone's club,
and the second one, I was in the Rage,
and she was in Mickey,
and we saw each other in West-Holywood.
And the third time we went to the Rage together.
the first time I went to a gay club, haha
and then, another favorite spot is Downtown LA.
We were not afraid to get lost or bad ppl would do something bad to us.
With her, I feel safe. We shared a lot of things together.
My past, her past,family history etc.
We went though 3 accidents together,
and i wasnt scared, I was worrying about her.
one night after accident, I went to her home and her mom made me dinner.
I rememeber she smoked all the time, and she still do.
Only her lovers can stop her from smoking , but just for a while.
The Power Of Love!
She doesnt believe in romantic stuff, until she knows Tito.
And now, Dave.
Now she is back to her country,
and im still wishing she will come back to stay with me.

The other good friend is Ilama.
The first time i saw him, I didnt like him,
coz he was always with the girl who i didnt like.
After knowing him for 2 months, he came to say Hi to me .
And that time, I didnt even know what is his name.
Ilama, this name is so hard to remember...
Hopefully Anna was there and always reminded me his name.
Even he always break his promise, but he is a really good friend.
One time, I failed in my driving test,
I was crying and crying,
he called me at the right time and asked me where I was,
and I went inside his car, crying crying and crying.
He acted like a brother, sitting next to me,
saying something i couldnt remember what,
and asking me not to cry, waited until I felt better.
Thats the first time I felt like this guy can be my good frined.
And after one dance party in Evans,
people started thinking we were dating, but no, we are not ..
haha so funny, we didnt do anything in the dance,
he just sitting there and watching the others danced with me.
Weird.
But it's good, when people think of this way,
then guys will not come and ask my number.
And then, one time Anna and I went to his club house in his apartment,
we had so much fun, we talked,laughted.
It's funny Anna was trying to flirt with him to test if i like him or not,
but i didnt feel bad coz i didnt like him like that way. Sorry Anna! :P

We 3 have been getting along so well,
we got each other nicknames hahahaha
When i be with them,
Im not afraid of anything ,
even the sky is falling down,
I dont care.
I always wanna go back to where we shared our happiness,
I have a lot of friends, but good friends cant always be a lot,
they have to be been through a lot with u so as to consider them as your good friends.
It's not easy to find someone who always got your back.

Maybe thats what I want.
I want someone can be next to me,
listen to me, care about me, laugh with me,share life with me,
make me smile,eat with me,take a deep breath with me....
Is it really that hard???