梁醒波釣魚郎 - [[小朋友`s blog*~]]

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2010 年 4 月 17 日星期六

梁醒波釣魚郎

分類: 諧趣粵曲曲詞

釣魚郎 第一段
(開邊) (唱漁歌唱晚) 我士砵恤衫的係夠「good」﹐短褲輕鬆未算得話闊﹐我個相頭又士「嘜」兼夾活潑﹐坐住架勃勃﹐辣撻的就抹。(二王上句) 抹到佢不染一塵﹐然後排場﹐至夠闊。(序) 得快活時應快活﹐(曲) 及時行樂幾咁 Very Good。(帶) 帶備威士忌與紅砵﹐(曲) 今日做釣魚郎﹐車到海灣渡週末。(白) 騎騎﹐人釣魚﹐我釣魚﹐我用果的魚餌特別唔同人果噃。嗱我一不用蝦公﹐二不用沙蟲﹐三不用浮筒﹐咁有人問我你唔用呢幾種﹐用乜呀。乜嘢叫做浮筒呢﹐哦﹐浮筒即係生魷魚仔啦﹐哦﹐喂你用的乜嘢呀﹐嗱聽住啦老友(板眼) 講到我果的釣魚餌﹐我第一用胭脂﹐唇膏﹐香粉三樣不離﹐第二我專門用銀紙﹐第三我講出你更重覺重兒嬉﹐我磨定果的硃砂搵定張黃紙﹐寫住虛榮兩個字﹐你話幾咁出奇﹐(拉腔收) 。(白) 奇乜嘢﹐我話的咁多都無奇呀、咁重話唔奇、唔奇！呢個世界樣樣都講新發明呀嗎。呢即如未有原子彈出個陣﹐你地梗係唔信有咁利害嘅武器架﹐點一知一掟掟左出嚟﹐跟住乜嘢都叫做原子﹐又原子乜﹐又原子物﹐咁重有乜奇呢。其實字典裡頭無個奇字嘅﹐無！實係寫無奇不有就啱﹐係！真係無架？無定啦！好叻開車﹐朋友﹐我都唔同你講﹐地時傾啦、好行﹐好行。我都廢時啋你﹐一於開車去也！(小曲梳妝台) 我坐架福﹐車到落海皮﹐開盡掣好似搭飛機四便呔向地離﹐車到咸淡水之間先至放餌﹐老友記我無執輸誓不樹白旗﹐(白) 話即在我未釣倒魚之前﹐忽然間個心有的感想噃﹐(步步高) 人有崇樓水中魚有石駁停留﹐石墈能做「竇」﹐善惡一樣有﹐與我地無分別謀食追求﹐水裡分疆界相爭決鬥﹐起風波﹐一朝遭網莫能漏﹐似人生﹐忽遭災劫莫可救。(白) 騎騎老友記﹐人同魚真係有好多到相同嘅﹐就有好多點同埋一樣啱﹐乜點樣同埋、乜唔同唧﹐人就有皇帝同總統呀﹐佢又有海龍王﹐大家有貴有賤﹐有惡有善﹐而且一樣有運行有運講嘅﹐嗱﹐魚唔失運又點會上釣落網﹐人唔失運﹐當然唔會遭逢意外之災啦﹐呢﹐話口未完個條魚絲郁郁吓咯﹐咪嘈﹐咪嘈﹐起！哈哈哈﹐重唔釣到你(減字芙蓉) 我估係邊一位喎﹐原來係兜大石斑。睇你瓣頂四四方方﹐應該當為老襯辦至啱﹐騎騎﹐老襯啦！怕你生得雍容又華貴﹐始終難過美人關。怕你？乜你聞倒陣脂粉除﹐想撲埋嚟咬番啖係嗎？梗係啦、唔係會咁咩。呢次索油索著火水﹐抵你唔死一身潺。(二王上句) 你一經上釣惡甩身﹐永不返得海鹹河淡。(白) 石班呀石班﹐睇你荷包大舊﹐衣服靚溜﹐面皮夠厚﹐任釣唔嬲﹐好﹐你痞抵一痞啦老友﹐咦﹐條魚絲又郁郁吓﹐睇﹐呢兜梗係白臘仔﹐白臘仔又名海上亞飛﹐精到無影﹐唔怕你精﹐至怕你唔來﹐你聞倒陣脂粉除﹐你重有唔上釣。上！哈哈﹐係你咯掛。(柳搖金) 你呢兜白臘仔﹐駛乜虛偽你人極「曳」﹐貪色追美易沉迷﹐騎騎﹐抵啦！脂粉計係人都驚畏﹐唏、好色啦﹐靚仔更易維擊﹐成日咁追女人﹐尤怕尤怕美人威﹐你都未知死﹐我睇你來頭幾巴閉﹐睇你唔肥唔瘦亦唔矮﹐裝飾多華麗名貴﹐結果終須氹你入圍。(白) 小亞飛週身白霍﹐專好踢索﹐大咬飛擒﹐隨海咁撲﹐聞倒脂粉香搏命咁搏﹐最乞人憎﹐輕挑浮薄﹐正式水浸麵包﹐又淨又靠索﹐痞低啦亞飛﹐好﹐又到第三單﹐咦﹐睇吓﹐咦﹐郁郁地﹐嘩嘩﹐郁噃﹐條魚絲郁噃﹐唉地﹐睇吓呢條係乜嘢﹐ 乜嘢得咁厲害﹐睇吓乜嘢咁巴閉呢喂。唏﹐最無用係你﹐我仲估係乜嘢魚。(賽龍奪錦) 原來係老坑﹐因為塘虱夠力猛﹐力猛力猛我釣魚唔係慣﹐真真心淡﹐肥佬俾你撞慣﹐老坑老坑﹐乜你見色重會貪。(食貪字二王下句) 終日貪圖美色﹐專吼住的水磨﹐腳踭。(序) 今回你白鱔上沙灘。(曲) 睇你骨瘦皮黃﹐竟有猖狂色膽。(白) 哈﹐你週身無肉我都唔嬲你﹐最嬲你個兩條蝦蛟鬚叻﹐人就會臨老入花叢啫﹐點知的魚都一樣有嘅﹐呢而家的脂粉俾條虱食晒添﹐好﹐第四單不如用銀紙釣至得﹐嘩！駛得噃﹐一放咗落去撲埋喱搶喎﹐又唔怪得嘅﹐邊個見倒銀紙唔擒擒青呢。嘩嘩﹐搶得佢地真勢兇﹐好﹐睇吓你呢係乜嘢魚至得﹐咪嘈咪嘈﹐起！哦﹐原來失魂魚。(昭君怨中板) 你為賭博累﹐發財豈會易﹐再多的也未夠你輸﹐咪話搭車也嫌遲﹐其實你更蠢過條薯﹐擔沙塞海佢望你來下注﹐一經惡買你唔著鬥氣﹐乜咁執輸﹐乜咁執輸﹐想番攤嚟就你﹐點會咁相宜﹐知錯經遲﹐怕你唔會種銀樹﹐身有錢都慢慢去輸﹐不應去趕肴。(白) 呢條失魂魚﹐稱之為爛賭鬼可也﹐如果唔係輸乾輸淨﹐又點會魂魄都失埋呢﹐好啦閒啦休提﹐痞低啦失魂魚﹐好又黎第五單﹐睇吓乜嘢黎至得呢單﹐又好似郁郁地條魚絲﹐嗱﹐條魚絲郁咯噃﹐又郁又唔郁﹐咁古惑嘅﹐睇吓你乜嘢至得﹐起！唏！原來呢條係黃魚﹐係省黃魚呢亭黃魚﹐就係呢亭魚。

釣魚郎 第二段

(花好月圓) 你都可算太猖狂﹐見錢眼望望﹐你休想脫離羅網﹐應知鳥為食亡﹐莫太狼﹐莫太狂﹐想省我牛黃﹐我實在無乜行﹐最可笑你如今身羈網。(白) 黃魚者﹐專省牛王之魚也﹐省牛黃之人都難逃法網﹐何況省黃魚之魚﹐又豈逃得過魚網災﹐痞底的啦黃魚頭﹐好又到第六單咯噃﹐咦﹐一放落去即刻有嘅﹐起！吓﹐奇叻﹐乜點解會釣到兜土鯪﹐吓﹐咁奇。(龍飛鳳舞) 鯪魚你痞慣在淡水﹐唔通的錢會有除﹐莫非你偏要鬥累﹐明死你都跳落去﹐你你你你你的確戇居﹐你你你見錢放膽追﹐錯吓上釣你一殼眼淚﹐懺悔已晚你心已盡碎。(白) 土鯪呀土鯪﹐你撈過界我都唔話你﹐不過你唔好見銀紙就擒擒青﹐錢唔係立亂擰得嘅﹐你撞啱塘虱佢會抄你﹐石班會食你﹐白臘仔會玩你噃﹐你要安份守己得架﹐重有你唔好持住週身骨話會梗死人呀﹐撞啱的鱷魚頭﹐連骨都吞埋你呀﹐痞低先啦土鯪魚﹐好﹐又到第七單。(先鋒拔) 嘩！搶呀搶呀﹐原來一講就到﹐條鱷魚黎噃﹐唉也！連銀紙都搶埋﹐奈佢唔何﹐唉﹐得個嬲字。嬲嬲！(夜上海) 無謂嘈﹐頂唔蒲﹐拈枝硃砂筆畫度符﹐唔對路﹐休氣怒﹐要搵番匹補數﹐豈知此處有鱷魚到﹐明搶暗奪強橫似暴徒﹐真真可惡﹐案亦難報﹐唔通告入龍王果度﹐我今番遇著兇徒。(白) 好﹐你兜鱷魚恰我咩﹐善有善報﹐惡有惡報﹐梗有兜鯨魚恰番你嘅﹐唔係啦﹐呢回第八單唔做蝕本生意﹐一於搵定張黃紙﹐加多度靈符﹐寫埋虛榮兩個字落去﹐然後至搵倒食嘅叻﹐睇啦朋友﹐呢呢呢條魚絲又郁郁地﹐上啦上啦上。哦！又係淡水貨﹐鯉魚黎﹐鯉魚呀鯉魚(三腳口) 知否虛榮兩個字﹐你嗒落似話梅﹐鯉魚跳龍門﹐當然聲價十倍﹐點知一入咗鹹水海﹐你落網永不回。(二王上句) 好似虎落平陽﹐重講乜嘢風雲際會。(白) 淡水貨﹐吓！的淡水貨咁多﹐無法啦﹐鯉魚呀鯉魚﹐你自己當衰﹐撞埋黎架乍﹐唔係我有意黎釣你﹐痞低啦﹐好﹐又到第九單﹐咦﹐乜咁快又有嘅﹐起！原來充頭貨﹐石狗公﹐似班唧﹐唔係真班。(上雲梯) 你個樣生得確係猛﹐你夠膽充班﹐唔怕撞......板﹐將你滾湯就最啱﹐點稱得上菜﹐惟送尋敍飯﹐見度靈符唔斬眼﹐真真可嘆﹐好充生晒認名銜﹐神氣活現極威猛﹐滿口誇張惡習慣。(白) 唔怪得排的行家話﹐碰埋頭都係釣到的坭猛同石狗公﹐原來海底咁多充頭貨嘅﹐算叻算叻﹐釣埋呢單都收工吧﹐咦﹐乜又有單﹐唉吔！呢好重嘅噃﹐乜嘢嚟呢喂(大笑) 唉吔！哈哈哈﹐原來美人魚﹐女人魚喎﹐(江邊草) 佢人趣緻 ﹐又多姿﹐纖纖柳腰十足似個紅撈時﹐睇佢唇細細﹐若施朱﹐最好兩家共相對住黎「Kiss」﹐睇佢柔情似藕絲﹐兩家拍拖互相愛慕唔分離。(插白) 唉吔！呢趟我夠晒艷福咯﹐我艷遇﹐艷遇.幸喜無人目及住﹐佢確靚更俏﹐我真快樂滿意﹐絕唔用銀紙﹐碰著我最易﹐拍拖去歸大家歡慕何相宜。(白) 哈哈﹐呢條美人魚巴閉咯﹐豈不是我踢左野都唔知﹐丕﹐夜的啦﹐樹枝黎就真﹐邊度有美人魚﹐如果係美人魚﹐變左佢釣我﹐唔係我釣佢叻﹐好﹐收工﹐吓！見倒咁多魚﹐我真係無限感想叻﹐朋友。(中板) 睇吓呢一個魚倉﹐每條都失魂落魄﹐響處掙扎揚波。呢兜大石班﹐雖非海上稱雄﹐亦都可居奇貨。呢條小亞飛﹐可笑佢貪圖脂粉﹐俾我監生捉入網羅。重有呢兜老塘虱﹐經已骨瘦如柴﹐重貪乜嘢朱唇﹐惹火得架。失魂魚呀你真可憐﹐為著賭得頻頻撲撲﹐不知人地撒網張羅。黃魚你呀﹐你亦得太猖狂﹐終日持惡行兇﹐睇唔見無形枷鎖。你條土鯪魚﹐都為著貪求水利﹐總唔防到百密有一疏。你呢兜鱷魚頭﹐終有日碰啱兜鯨魚﹐我問你點能逃得過。一山還有一山高﹐大魚週時食細魚﹐幾曾見海國不揚波。鯉魚你何必跳龍門﹐知否貪慕虛榮﹐日後要提防會折墮。講到呢兜石狗公﹐常好週圍充生晒﹐未知魚世界﹐都係搵笨多。(爽七字清) 忠厚慈祥收善果﹐奸奸狡狡受折磨﹐貪字變貧非講錯﹐千祈咪當別人傻。

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