Overall my results this time are awful.

My marks are surprisingly bad,

because I prepared so hard for this mid-term exam,

but all subjects were resulted frustratingly.

I am not reconciled, especially the result of geography.

How come I studied it for a week but not getting a high mark?

It was totally unfair !

I deserved to get what I've paid !

However, this couldn't apply on me.

What a tragedy!

  The longer I was alone, the deeper I thought.

I can guess why today my glasses was covered by dust which blocked my view,

because someone wanted to tell me that I haven't been seeing anything clearly since the day I was born.

  I was oscillating between going to the climax and giving myself a break.

Today I could see.

The answer I've been finding was so close to me, I didn't even notice it before.

It came out when I felt defeated,

it came out when my world collapsed within a second.

  I realised that the major reason kept pushing me towards was not my parents.

I always said how unreasonable, mean and stern my parents were,

yes, of course they were, but it was actually a pretext for me to take rest,

a falsehood to diguise my desire to excel,

and it was in my blood undeniably.

  I felt I was the most depressed one when I received my  marked papers.

I found I was the one who mind the results the most,

it was neither my mother nor my father, it was me,

the one who thought the only reason to work hard was to refrain myself from the lecture with my parents as the host.

Yet, I was wrong.

  I've made my decision firmly,

I've failed to implement almost every decision my whole life,

because I couldn't make anything with precision.

Notwithstanding, I'm still hoping this time will be different,

I will not failed this time.

I'm finding my way to reach the top, no matter what it wll be,

no matter everyone will hate me.

If it can assist me, I will keep using it,

no matter what hamper me.

  "There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day." - Alexander Woollcott

  假期後的第一天，

唯一活動—— 對考試卷。

  自知這次成績都不好，

History 甚至只是剛好及格，

可是我又能做些甚麼？

一切都已成定局了，

能做的大概就只有忍耐。

沒法子，就當是在訓練自己的EQ好了。

  回到家，我這種乖孩子就當然是自動向父親大人報告成績。

  聽到中文卷的分數後，反應是：

這次也不是考得好。

數學卷：這次的成績差了很多，落差很大！

History：目瞪口呆。兩、三秒後說，

為甚麼會考得這麼差？其實你究竟有否看過我買給你那些書？

我答有。那為甚麼你會沒有問題問？我回答不了。

  大總結：你不可以再hea了！

你現在已中四，其實你現在起步也太晚了，

我之前也跟你說過，你有聽嗎？

而且，我就叫你不要再看翻譯小說了吧？

拜托，多看些英文書和中國人寫的中文書！

  我才是要說拜托的那個吧！

你知道要強逼自己要努力做一件不喜歡的事有多辛苦嗎？

你知道當自努力過後，而事情的結果不合心那種感覺嗎？

最糟糕的是之後還要被別人說自己hea而非安慰自己的感覺嗎？

你知道要自己默默地承受這一切的感覺嗎？

還有，我本來就不愛閱讀，

現在幾經辛苦才找到的書都是譯本，

當初是你叫我閱讀，

現在我閱讀，你又嫌三嫌四！

你到底想怎樣？

  你知道我很累嗎？

跟你說，你就只是聽了就算，

不如你告訴我你要我怎樣做？

  今天無聊得很，

所以便拿起那本巨型的朗文辭典來看，

其實我也只不過是看後那幾版。

一看，看到有趣的一欄：

短信息及網絡聊天常用縮寫。

比方說：iyswim = if you see what i mean

:-/  = Hmm, I'm not sure

想不到現在這些東西竟會收錄在辭典中！

不知過多幾年後會不會有一本 'Abbreviations Dictionary'？

  另外，我發覺我的心境開始慢慢轉變，

開始覺得自己好像重要了些(即自以為是吧！)，

不，應該說開始想自己變得重要。

不知這是否好事呢？

不過，我的自制力不太好，可能會弄巧反拙，

真的會變得自以為是呢！

  不過無論怎樣也好，

有改變比沒改變好，

因為因做錯事而後悔比因為甚麼也沒做而後悔好。