Finally for once

I found someone that i do not desperately wanna be with him

But to be by his side and protect him.I really dont know what this is, its more than friendship,but not some kind of romance I guess.

Yet,yesterday,when i realise if he is serious about joining the army,he wont be back HK for three years,i cant go visit him either,and there is a huge chance that he wont come back to live in HK again.All of a sudden I burst into tears at the train.I really dont want him to go yet at the same time,im really glad he found his way.

Im glad he found the girl of his dream and i kinda push him towards her.Nonetheless,it will be agonizing to watch if the one that is walking down the aisle with him is her.

But but but,everytime im with him,its pure happiness.Or when memories flash across my mind,something stirs inside of me.

Am I being stupid,pushing the guy I like away from me...

Agh,nope.I mean,girl like me,ha

Its  better off this way.

I hope this time he dosent mess his relationsheep up.