¸ÜÃD§Ã¶}¤Ó»·¤F¡A´N¬Ý¬Ý§Ú¬D¿ïªº¤@¨Ç¡uù§¤hªº¯u¬Û¡v§a¡G¥X³B¡GWayne's Blog (http://mstar.pixnet.net/blog)
Ó¤H¡G
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
ù§¤h¥X¥Í«á´N¶}¨®§â¥L¶ý¶ý±qÂå°|¸ü¦^®a¡C
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
ù§¤h±q¤£Åª®Ñ¡G¥L³£¬O¬½¬½ÀüµÛ®Ñ¥»¡Aª½¨ì®Ñ¥»¨Ñ¥X¥L·Qnªº¸ê°T¡C
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
ù§¤hªº¤é¾ä¦b 3/31 ¤§«á´N¬O 4/2¡G¨S¦³¤H¥i¥H·M§Ëù§¤h¡C (µù¡G·Q·Q 4/1 ¬O¤°»ò¤é¤l..)
The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
ù§¤h¥Xªº°ß¤@¤@¦¸¿ù¡G¥L»{¬°¦Û¤v¥Ç¿ù¤F¡C
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
ù§¤h¨«¶i«Ç¤º®É¤£¬O¶}¿O¡A¥L¬O¡uÃö±¼¶Â·t¡v¡C
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
·íù§¤h±¹ïÃè¤l®É¡AÃè¤l´N¯}¸H¤F¡G¦]¬°Ãè¤l¨S²Â¨ì³Q¨âÓù§¤h§¨¦b¤¤¶¡¡C
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
¤@¶¡¥Á¦vªº«ÈÆUùØ¥§¡·|¦³ 1242 ºØÃ¹Â§¤h¥i®³¨Ó±þ¤Hªºª««~¡A¥]¬A«ÈÆU¥»¨¡C
Chuck Norris always makes the shower head cry.
ù§¤h¬~¾þ¤£¥ÎÂà¶}Ãö¡A¥L°¦¬OÀüµÛ¤ôÀsÀYÅý¥¦ú¦Ó¤w¡C
After a shower, Chuck Norris dosen't need a towel, he just tells the water to get the hell off!
¬~§¹¾þ«áù§¤h¤£»Ýn¯D¤yÀ¿°®¡A¥L°¦n¥s¤ô¥÷Â÷¶}¥Lªº¨Åé´N¦n¤F¡C
¶¼¹¡G
Chuck Norris can tie cherry stems with his ear.
ù§¤h¥i¥H¥Î¦Õ¦·§âÄå®ç±ð¥´µ²¡C
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
ù§¤h¥hº~³ù¤ýÂI¤F¤@Ó¤j³Á§J¡A¦Ó¥B¥L®³¨ì¤F¡C
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
ù§¤h¤Á¬v½µ®ÉÁ`¬OÅý¬v½µ¬y²´²\¡C
¼v¼@¡G
Chuck Norris has a stunt double. For crying scenes.
ù§¤h´¿¥Î¹L¨â¦¸´À¨¡G¦bnúªº³õ´º¡C
Chuck Norris was in all 6 Star Wars movies...... As The Force.
ù§¤h¦b¤»³¡¡u¬P»Ú¤j¾Ô¡v¹q¼v¤¤³£¦³ºt¥X......¥L¹¢ºt¡uì¤O¡v¡C
Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he¡¦s not acting.
ù§¤h±q¥¼¦]ºt§Þ¦Ó®³¨ì¶ø´µ¥d¼ú¡G¦]¬°¥L¨Ã¤£¬O¦bºtÀ¸¡C
The phrase ¡¥dead ringer¡¦ refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
¡u¦º¤`¹aÁn¡vªº»y·½¬O¡G¬Ý¹q¼v®É§¤¦bù§¤h«á±ªº¤H¨S§â¤â¾÷¹aÁnÃö±¼¡C (µù¡Gì·N¬O«ü¡u«D±`¬Û¹³ªº¤H¡v)
^¶¯¡G¥X³B¡GWayne's Blog (http://mstar.pixnet.net/blog)
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
¦³¨Ç¯»µ··|¬ï¶W¤HºÎ¦ç¡A¶W¤H«h¬ïµÛù§¤hºÎ¦ç¡C
When someone is in trouble it's a job for Superman, when Superman is in trouble it's a job for Chuck Norris.
´¶³q¤Hµo¥Í¦MÃø®É¶W¤H·|¥X°Ê¡A¶W¤Hµo¥Í¦MÃø®Éù§¤h·|¥X°Ê¡C
When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Chuck Norris signal.
·í½¿½»«L¹J¨ì°ÝÃD¡A¥L·|¥Î±´·Ó¿O¥´¥Xù§¤hªºÀY¹³¡C
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke... that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
¦³¤@¦¸Ã¹Â§¤h´c§@¼@§¿¦b¤@½ø³fÂd¨®ªºªo½c¸Ì... ¨º½ø¨®«á¨ÓÅܦ¨§Ú̪¾¹Dªº¡uÅܧΪ÷è¡v¬_³Õ¤å¡C
ªÀ·|¡G
There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and Chuck Norris.
¬ü°ê¥|ºØ¦Xªk¦º¦D³B¦D¤è¦¡¡Gª`®g¬rÃÄ¡B¬r®ð«Ç¡B¹q´È¡Bù§¤h¡C
When you celebrate your birthday, you do not celebrate the date of your birth, you celebrate that Chuck Norris allowed you to live another year.
¦b¥Í¤é®É¼y¯¬ªº¤£¬Oªø¤F¤@·³¡A¦Ó¬Où§¤h¤SÅý¤H¬¡¤F¤@¦~¡C
Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
ù§¤h¥i¯à¤£ª¾¹D§A¦í¦bþùØ¡A¦ý¥Lª¾¹D§A·|¦º¦bþùØ¡C
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
ù§¤h¤ñ YA! ®Éªí¥Ü¡G§AÁÙ¦³¨â¬íÄÁ¥i¬¡¡C
Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
¶W¯à¤OªÌ¥Îºë¯«¤OÅý´ö°Í§á¦±¡Aù§¤h«h¥Î´ö°ÍÅý¤Hºë¯«§á¦±¡C (Åý§Ú·Q¨ì³oÓ¼v¤ù)
Light just wishes it was a fast as one of Chuck's fists.
¥ú½u¤@ª½§Æ±æ¦Û¤vªº³t«×¯à¦³Ã¹Â§¤hªº®±³t¨º»ò§Ö¡C
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
ù§¤h¥i¥H³Q¹s¾ã°£¡C
The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.
£k (pi) ªº³Ì«á¤@¦ì¼Æ´N¬Où§¤h¡A¦]¬°¥L²×µ²¥ô¦ó¨Æª«¡C
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
ù§¤h´¿¸g±q¤@¼Æ¨ìµL¤j......¨â¦¸¡C
Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
ù§¤h¥i¥H¼¯À¿¨â¶ô¦B¶ô¥Í¤õ¡C
Chuck Norris used to beat the shit out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.
ù§¤h´¿µh«ó¥Lªº¼v¤l¡A¦]¬°¦Ñ¬O¸ò¥L¤Óªñ¡A²{¦b¼v¤l³£°¦´±Â÷¥L 30 §`»·¡C
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a poisonous snake. after three das of excrutiating pain, the cobra died.
ù§¤h´¿¸g³Q¬r³D«r¹L¡G¦b¸g¹L¤T¤Ñªº·¥«×µhW«á....¨º±ø³D¦º¤F
Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon
ù§¤h¯à±qÂfÂcº^¥X¬h¾í¥Ä¡C
Chuck Norris donated his heart to a hospital.....twice.
ù§¤h´¿¸g®½¹L¥Lªº¤ßŦ......¨â¦¸¡C
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
ù§¤h¬O¤£ºÎıªº¡A¥L°¦¬O¦bµ¥«Ý¡C
Chuck Norris can measure his weight with a ruler.
ù§¤h¥i¥H¥Îª½¤Ø¶q¥X¥LªºÅé«
The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
è¥Í¥X¨ÓªºÀ¦¨à·|ú¡A¬O¦]¬°ª¾¹D³oÓ¥@¬É¦³Ã¹Â§¤h¦b¡C
Chuck Norris doesn't need twitter, he's already following you.
ù§¤h¤£»Ýn±À¯S¡BFacebook¡B¼P®ö¡A¦]¬°¥LÀH®É³£¥i¥H°lÂܨì§A¡C
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
µ´¹ï¤£n¦b Google ¤W·j´Mù§¤h¡A¦]¬°§A§ä¤£¨ì¤°»ò¸ê®Æ¡A¤Ï¦ÓÁÙ·|³Q¥Lª¾¹D§A¦b°lÂÜ¥L
(½Ð¦b Google ·j´M¿é¤J¡uChuck Norris¡v¡AµM«áÂI¡u¦n¤â®ð¡v¡AGoogle ·|§i¶D§A¡G¡u¦b§AÁÙ¦³¾÷·|®É¡A§Ö°k°Ú¡I¡v)
¹CÀ¸¡G
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
ù§¤h´N¬O¬°¤°»ò«Â¤OÁÙ¸úµÛªºì¦]¡C (µù¡G¡u«Â¤O¦bþùØ¡v)
Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
ù§¤h´¿¸g¤U¤F¤T¤l´NŤF¥|¤l´Ñ¡C
Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.
¦³¨Ç¤p«Ä·|¥Î§¿¦b³·¦a¤W¼g¦Û¤vªº¦W¦r¡Aù§¤h«h¬O¥Î§¿¦b¤ôªd¦a¨è¥X¦Û¤vªº¦W¦r¡C
Chuck Norris can win rock, paper, scissors without using rock, paper, or scissors.
¥ÛÀYĹ°Å¤M¡B°Å¤MĹ¥¬¡B¥¬Ä¹¥ÛÀY¡A¦ý¬Où§¤hĹ¹L³o¤TÓ¡C
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
ù§¤h¤£ª±¡u¸ú°gÂáv¡A¥Lª±¡u¸ú°_¨Ó¨Ã¬èë§Ú¤£¥h§ä§A¡v¡C
Chuck Norris¡¦ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
¯àĹ¹L¦Pªá¤j¶¶ªº¡A´N°¦¦³Ã¹Â§¤hªº¤â¤F¡C
Åé¨|¡G
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
ù§¤h°µ¥ñ¦a®¼¨ªº®ÉÔ¡A¥L¨Ã¤£¬O¼µ°_¦Û¤v¡A¦Ó¬O§â¦a²yÀ£¤U¥h¡C
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
ù§¤h¬O°ß¤@¦bºô²y¤ñÁɤ¤Ä¹¹L¤@°ô¿jÀ𪺤H¡C
While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
¬Y¦¸Ã¹Â§¤h¦bªk°ê´ç°²®É¡AÃM¸}½ñ¨®¥|³B®Ì®Ì¡A³Ì«á¤£¤p¤ßŤFÀôªk¦Û¦æ¨®¤jÁÉ«ax¡C
Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
¬Y¨ÇÅ]³N®v¯à¦b¤ô¤W¦æ¨«¡Aù§¤h«h¬O¦b³°¦a¤¤¹Cªa¡C
Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
ù§¤h´¿ª±¹L¤@¦¸ªá¦¡¸õ³Ê¡A¤§«á¥L´N¤£¦A°µ¤F¡G¦]¬°¤j®l¨¦°¦¦³¤@Ó´N«Ü°÷¤F¡C
¿Î»y¡G¥X³B¡GWayne's Blog (http://mstar.pixnet.net/blog)
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
ù§¤h¥i¥H¥Î¤@°¦³¾±þ±¼¨âÁû¥ÛÀY¡C
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
¡u®É¶¡¤£µ¥«Ý¥ô¦ó¤H¡v......°£«D¨ºÓ¤H´N¬Où§¤h¡C
You win some¡G you lose some. Chuck Norris wins ALL.
¡u³Ó±Ñ¤D§L®a±`¨Æ¡v¡A¦ýù§¤h¥Ã»·°¦¦³³Ó§Q¡C
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.
¦º¯«´¿¸g¦³¹L¤@¦¸¡uÃxù§¤hÅéÅç¡v¡C (¤HÃþ«h¦³¡uÀئºÅéÅç¡v)
Chuck Norris cannot experience Death, but Death can experience Chuck Norris.
ù§¤h¤£·|¸g¾ú¦º¤`¡A¦ý¦º¤`·|¸g¾úù§¤h¡C
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
ù§¤h¨ä¹ê¦b¤G¤Q¦~¤§«e´N¤w¸g¦º¤F¡A¦ý¬O¦º¯«ÁÙ¨S«i®ð¥h§ä¥L¡C
When Chuck Norris was asked if he believed that the world was going to end in 2012, he resonded: "Depends how I'm feeling that day."
¦³¤H°Ýù§¤h¬Û¤£¬Û«H 2012 ¦~¬O¥@¬É¥½¤é¡A¥L¦^µª¡un¬Ý§Ú¨º®É¤ß±¡¦n¤£¦n¡v¡C
¾ú¥v¡G
Chuck Norris once played with Legos. The result was The Great Pyramids.
ù§¤hª±¹L¼Ö°ª¿n¤ì¡G³o¤]¬Oª÷¦r¶ðªº¥Ñ¨Ó¡C
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
·íªì«Ø¸Uùتø«°ªº¥Øªº¬O¬°¤F¾×¦íù§¤h¡A¦ý«ÜÅãµM¬O¥¢±Ñ¤F¡C
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, ¡§Bang!¡¨
ù§¤h¥Î¤â«üµÛ¼wx¾Ô°«¾÷³Û¡u½S¡I¡v¡A¸Ó¾Ô¾÷´N¼Y·´¤F¡C
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now called the Islands.
ù§¤h´¿¨ì¹Lºû¨Ê¸s®q (Virgin Islands)......²{¦b¨ºÃä´N°¦¥s¡u¸s®q¡v(The Islands) ¤F¡C (µù¸Ñ¡GVirgin «ü¡u³B¤k¡v)
ohh come on!? hes just a stupid actor. if he was god, he would come to my house and slam my head to the keyboafdlasgksangjkashglkjasfk-v;sdklhb;odhglasjdghgdnisgesgu-sdgrhugrnhusdgrljsgrljsdgjgjks-dfks
±À Datow:ù§¤h¤£¹L´N¬OÓB¯Å¤ù³¾ºtû n¬O¥L¯uªº¨º»ò¯« ¥L¬°¤°»ò²{¦b¨S¦³§â§Ú¤@¥þÄé¦bÁä£us7u¨à2»Û83§åruwe¸¯j3ur&^27%^%^$ 12/16 01:03
¬ÛÃö¾\Ū¡G¥X³B¡GWayne's Blog (http://mstar.pixnet.net/blog)