真係好唔開心呀!無論我點樣改變自己都無用...首先要面對校長對我的不公平人工...人地加咁多我加咁少...我想知道其他同事...人工加幾多...但佢地唔肯講...咁我可以呀...對我嚟講永遠係個迷...永遠唔知道校長係唔係對我一個人唔公平...昨日去書展...我懷着興奮的心情去揀書...去到我都好認真咁做...但可惜...身邊太多同事幫忙...大家都好主動...其實我都不段留意有無書啱...但比玉蘭睇...佢唔想應我...個刻心情好差...但亦可以了解到...當佢心情差...佢唔理人咁多...講左先...自己講完輕鬆...但對我呢d唔想同佢嘈ge人來講...真係勁唔開心...因為我好努力咁去搵...但竟然唔得閒啋我...施施有段時間仲講...你有無幫玉蘭手...我繼續好努力咁去搵...但結果都係唔接受...相反人地個d...佢好認真咁去睇...係唔係開始出現問題呢...我揀留係度係唔係錯呀...我咁肯定...我走左都無人知....nicole一嚟到佢見到我...就用手打我...雖然係玩...但我向凱瑩傾訴...講幾次...佢都無咩反應...又係一個問題...後來我先知道逗留新雅由差唔多9點半至到夜晚9點半到先走...期間不覺得肚餓...所以唯有繼續...但可惜係我無認真咁去睇我想睇ge書...突然諗起我上年書展同momo一齊去...雖然行ge時間好短...但感覺係無咁大壓力...完全係要自己不停搵話題去講...(對住班同事永遠都係咁)玉蘭對個個施施的表妹態度都好過我...我可以點呢...施施當中幫好大ge忙...不停用咭比定錢去買書...當中我只係不段咁聽...不段咁學佢地買書技巧...完左之後先去食飯...玉蘭就請哂我地三個人去食飯...當然下次我請番佢啦...唔想欠人呀!

近期施施都好鐘意搵玉蘭...成日等埋佢一齊放工...突然想起...今日午飯我帶個學生一齊去...我問佢可否帶人...我無做錯呀...佢話自己ge事自己負責...點樣點樣...ok接受...正常情序...之後玉蘭彈一句...你要講清楚...(語氣好沉重)...有點野咁...施施繼續帶佢個表妹...玉蘭同佢地傾得好好...有講有笑...我只係插幾句廢話...覺得呢種食飯好無聊...完全係食得好唔開心...同佢地話題唔岩...其實呢件事都發生左好耐架啦...只係忍...放學...仲有下文...施施又上嚟圖書館接玉蘭...佢地兩個好齊心咁做埋盤點...我就孤伶伶一個做...諗住慢慢做啦...我就係到講...你地走先啦...唔洗理我架啦...然後施施就話...唔洗講到咁可憐...好呀!...咁樣講...我都唔洗再係你地面前扮嘜...橫掂我一直都只係當佢地係同事...絕對唔係朋友...總之同佢地講野好辛苦...加上下年都會得我一個係圖書館做野架啦...玉蘭都走埋囉...咁我可以自己自閉...

我呢個思想只有日本思想...我好想搵多d呢d朋友...好唔想迫自己講d唔鍾意ge話題...難得keyboard而家無事...有咩就打啦...個螢幕小鍵盤要用mouse續個字按...好辛苦架...近期ge錢而家去到好盡啦...好快挨唔到...點儲錢...下個月要交日文高下班啦...好似呢方面...都跟得好辛苦...無嘜進步咁...最後我希望真係搵到好工啦...