呢幾日都冇返去渡假屋個邊,因為屋企有d事要處理同埋鋪頭d野,所以我唸都唔雋返去住ga了,但係唔緊琅,因為我唔再須要去,原因只有一個,就係去唔去都改變唔到我對fanny ge感覺.................

由我返出來個一日開始,就知道自己冇可能放得低,既然係咁,我都唔會再去唸點椒可以放低佢................呢幾日都有同佢傾電話,佢問過我d野,而我都答左好多野,我同佢講,每次同佢傾完電話都會好訓d,佢就笑住話佢係安眠藥呀,我話唔係,我講笑咁講話你我精神食糧,佢都係到笑..............其實,我真係想話,你唔單只係精神食糧,更加係我ge精神支柱,但係我冇講,因為我唔想嚇親佢..........但點都好,呢樣係唔會改變到................

呢幾日都好忙,都係要搞埋鋪頭d野,都幾累.................得閒就打下機咁,就係咁過左呢幾日..............

今日先知道原來自己仲未可以放低佢............

因為今日要返home拎野ge,所以由個邊返左來,開頭都冇事ge,但係fanny夜晚俾電話我,話我知佢出左去玩,咁我唸住都冇事,之後再打來同我講,佢話飲到好醉,好暈,嘔左好多次,我問佢我出來接佢走啦,佢話好,之後就出左去,個時仲係黑雨來tim,出到去4點半,去到見到佢都醉左係度....................之後都冇乜事,唸住送佢返屋企,但佢話要去第二度,之後我就搭的士返屋企.................

返到去,個腦唸左好多野,訓唔到覺,好辛苦.......................

呢幾日,其實都以為我可以開始放得低佢,點知...............................見到佢飲醉左,個心好唔舒服,但係又......................都唔知點好,唉........................我d失眠又來了...........................................

今朝好早起左身,因為尋晚飲左好多酒,9點幾就醒左了,之後我個fd打俾我,問我去唔去食野,咁我就出去同佢食野啦,點知,原來佢搵左幾個朋友來陪我一齊食早餐,都幾驚喜,因為我好耐都冇見過佢地了,大家都有大家忙,好難得先一齊,幾開心...............呢個早餐食左好耐,因為大家都有傾有講...............12點呀食到,呵呵..................

其間,我地傾左好多野,例如大家忙緊d乜野,近來點,好多好多,但佢地忽然問我有冇拍拖,我就啞左........=.=,因為我係有呢個問題先係呢度,不過,佢地都係關心我je,所以我冇嬲佢地,之後,我個fd同佢地講左我ge事,佢地先知................佢地不停咁安慰我,我好多謝佢地,之後佢地就話今晚係我度煮飯,問我好唔好,因為佢地話好耐都冇試我d手勢了,好回味.咁我當然冇問題啦.不過,我好耐都冇煮飯,唔知仲識唔識煮飯呢??...............................^^

之後大家就一齊去左街市買餸,買左好多海鮮,佢地話想今晚食海鮮,好多材料呀,有蝦,蟹,蜆,瀨尿蝦,生蠔...........................超多呀......好重呀.............我心唸 : 你地班友仔想煮死我咩??不過大家都好開心,其實有佢地係度,我先至冇咁悶,佢地都係想好唔洗一個人je,點都好,煮好餐飯先.................

返到去,放低哂d野之後,休息左一陣,打左陣ps2,就去準備好d野,由準備到煮好ge時間,用左4個幾鐘頭,好慢,因為都好耐冇做過了,慢就應該,當我整好哂d野拎出來ge時候,佢地又拎左幾支紅酒來,話用來送飯wow...............激死,尋晚飲完,今晚又來.....................算啦,都唔係第一日係咁ga啦,跟住大家一路食就一路飲,好開心,大家都有傾有講,食飽之後,出左去過海邊繼續飲,傾下計.................

佢地都同我講,時間可以沖淡d野,呢一刻你放唔低,好正常,慢慢來啦................唔好迫自己要係而家放低,慢慢你就會做到ga了........我都知,但唔知要幾耐呢,呢個先至係問題呀ma...........佢地都係想我好je,我知ga了,多謝係你地.不過真係要多謝你地law,一個二個飲飽了,食飽了,就死左係度訓,又唔幫手執番d野,搞到得我一個人做哂d手尾,又要執番乾淨d地方,又要洗碗...................

不過,真係我開心,因為有一班好耐都冇見ge朋友,而且我ge手勢到左而家都仲係冇變個下至好野,個個都話我煮d野同以前一樣咁好食,好開心..............其中有個問我會唔會返去酒店到做,我即刻答佢 : 冇,因為呢一行已經唔屬於我ga了,而且,俾唔到我一個再有發展ge空間...........我ge事業,我從來都唔擔心,因為我已經有打算,我一早鋪排好哂,只係......................算了,唔想再講個d野了.........好累呀,休息下先.................

其實要講sorry ge人應該係我,而唔係你,因為我自己ge事而影響到你,所以要講對唔住ge人係我.................其實我想行開下好耐ga了,唔係因為今次呢件事先咁做,不過或多或少都有少少ge............點都好啦...............fanny,sorry,我唔應該同你講個d野ge,希望你原諒......................

今日我已經唔係屋企,因為去左我個fd間渡假屋住,係邊就唔講啦...........

之前ge一日,我同呀cow去左飲酒,飲到好醉,同佢都傾左好耐,(p.s.好似有4個鐘頭),我同佢講左好多野,佢都叫我唔好唸太多...........跟住就返左屋企,訓醒之後就去左個度,去散下心,休息下,今日係第一日,好累,因為我執左都幾多野去,所以執好d野之後就好累...........跟住就去左搵野食,發覺呢度都幾多野食,最後搵左一間打冷ge鋪頭,叫左好多野食,仲有啤酒..........好開心,因為d野好好食.................

食飽之後就去左沙灘度坐下,飲下酒,好舒服..............見到有d人係度玩得好開心,不過佢地唔係一家人或是係一班人,而係一對對ge情侶.....................=.=當佢地開始走ge時候,我係度唸左好多野,我真係好煩,好多野都係我個腦不停咁轉來轉去,我好辛苦,所以不停咁對自己,等我冇咁辛苦.但係飲得多仲辛苦過未飲.............

之後就返左去間屋度,坐左好耐,個腦不停係度轉來轉去,唸ge只有一個人................可能太深刻,好難去放低...............................但係佢都同好講放低佢,佢唔係一個好女仔,但係我覺得好唔好,自己係判斷唔到,因為自己永遠都會話自己有幾唔好,不過點都好,你係我心目中係一個好女仔,我唔知會係呢度住幾耐,可能好耐.其實呢度冇咁多野可以俾我做,只有周圍行下咁,但係幾舒服........................

可能今日係第一日je,其實我都唸通左少少ga了,知道有d野係唔可以勉強,由其係感情,更加要相方ge.但我係度唸,當我有一日真係可以放低ge時候,但我唔知點去面對佢,真係好難,唔知點做,不過點都好,到時再算啦,因為唔知要幾耐時間去將呢份愛放低.................

個頭好痛,訓覺先.............................................=.=