Still very down today
I dun know can I keep my gd mood anymore ( in church )
they r different now .
maybe I had change , not them .
I remember this happen before , in my church (HK).
So that may make my think about do I really want to become a member of this church . However God will show my the way I need to go . Still believe in that ..... GREAT
Today was such a hard day . Drama was SUCK !!! Dun tell anyone that CM is the director and also the dramatist of this drama , in fact I should sold it to Holy Drama , let them show in any time I dun care !!! They all are high school student and they have exam this year , they dun even have 3 hours to rehearse this , they are not professional too , but they can do it !!! They have a heart of worship God , they know that Tracy won't write a drama for show , I only write for worship God !!! They won't go to play during the time of rehearsing .
I was so dismayed of that , and I am !!! Never ever ask me for the drama , not again !!! Man ...... Is not the problem of they r professional or not , they dun even have a heart !!! That is for worship God , That is not for human !!! Not for the Chinese New Year Night !!! this is for telling everyone that what we should do !!! I praied for that idea , what happen now !!! Great !!! I can't have any expect to this group of people . They will make me die !!
They always sing a song calls " Heart Of Worship " , but they dun underestand that very clear , before the drama we should have a few bible study like what I used to have before , that can help . Well , anyway IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS forget them , I am not going to do drama again in this church ( At least not before I had a few of classes with them ) , GREAT , it can make me more free in the future , only write for Holy Drama and the other church . And not at the moment yet , maybe July ?? Dun know , the next drama must be for Christmas . Yup ...... Can write my experience in that , dun want to write something from the bible , did it so many times .
........... nothing can do now , only pray , yup , I underestand what I have to pray now , not for the guy I like , I should ( we should ) pray for God's love and anything about that ( Whatever dun know how to say ) , that is true , if not him , nothing can still survival , too much sins around us . His love should be the 1st thing we pray .
then ....... dun know what I want to say , know that my church fds won't go on here and read this , but still say something about them , that is the thing I won't say in front of them , heart was ( is ) is hurt , too angry today , my drama , dead ..........
well that is not a show , keep telling myself that . So God will help me of that .well he will......
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