其實我很像Jenny(<<L>>中的角色)

原本就不是一個les,可是只是踏進了les的世界,

我就會出不來的了。

昨晚,我姐問了個問題,

為什麼女生會喜歡女生呢？

我的答案是也許心理和生理上,女生會比較懂女生的心情,心理和感覺吧。

好久沒打日記了,

之前的沒那個心情打日記.......

現在也沒有

do my best for you,
To make you proud.
But it's not enough 'cause you,
Keep bringing me down.

Can't you see that you're hurting me?
That all you say keeps on haunting me?
If only you could see,
Or just try to understand me.

How come it all went wrong?
I've been wondering for so long.
I feel like you don't even know me anymore,
Look in my eyes, I'm still the one I was before.

Do you realise that I
Have never felt so good?
It's the first time that I
Am really sure.

I'd like to know what's on your mind,
'Cause it's making you completely blind.
If only you could pay attention,
You'd see that it's a real addiction.

How come it all went wrong?
I've been wondering for so long.
I feel like you don't even know me anymore,
Look in my eyes, I'm still the one I was...

I'll never understand why you act like this,
Think it through, take your time.
I hope that some day, you will say "it's fine".

How come it all went wrong?
I've been wondering for so long.
I feel like you don't even know me anymore,
Look in my eyes, I'm still the one I was before.

於收到IVE那邊回過來的mail了. . . .

要會考全E才可以讀,沒E的,

就要基礎文憑(應用科學)才可以. . . .

竟然告訴我,沒有我要讀的基礎文憑(應用科學). . . . .

我爸一定會罵我為什麼不上年就入學. . . .

是不是要把我逼死才ok啊. . . .

好大的壓力啊. . . . 我快受不了. . . . .

竟然發夢看到自己跟啊wing告白

結果當然是失敗囉. . . .

在夢中,我還因為啊wing而把留了這樣久的頭髮剪掉,

在夢中. . . 我竟然在人來人往的商場嚎哭. . .

真實到,睡著也在哭. .  . .

因為一起來,就摸到臉上有淚了。

昨晚,

我媽吵著,要我打給別人家的女兒,詢問ive的資料. . . (別人家的女兒會考有21分,直接升讀yr2)

真討厭那種感覺. . . .

說著說著. . . . 我媽說一直都覺得我很聰明. . . .

想著想著. . . . 就哭了. . . 聰明? 那輪到我啊?

別耍我了. . . 從小到大. . . . 都沒有被父母讚過. . . .

就算是一次的100分,一次的得獎. . . . 也只是父母口中的「這是你應該的,是你的本份。」

別人家的孩子就是特別的優秀, 別人家的孩子說什麼都對,做什麼都對. . . .

我就是從小跟別人家的小孩比較到大. . . .

就是那丁點的自信. . . 我都不能有. . . .

就算自己覺得很自豪. . . . 也是你們口中的本份. . . . .

我家是一個沒有讚賞的家庭. . . .