Two days of career conference, followed by three days at downtown east. The series of career talks, I must say, it gave the girls a good head start in considering their directions for the next few years. Apart from this, one important takeaway is, we shouldn't choose our jobs for glamor or money. It is the passion that will make us persevere.

Passion, that's probably the element which stopped me from hanging up the phone when the unreasonable mother screamed at me. It is probably the element which made me forgive and forget some of the things which my students have done. And lastly, it is what that gives me the courage to drag myself out of bed each morning and return to school.

Three tiring days at downtown east. During formal dinner, the little mischievous girls transformed into gorgeous ladies. Not to be compared to my time when I simply took something out from my wardrobe and wore it for grad nite. I looked at their make-up kit, their dresses and their shoes. Together with the amount they gonna pay for the camp itself, I estimated an average of $500 for each girl.

Make-up, clothes are one-time purchases. The graciousness cultivated into them is a 16-years-investment. They are fortunate girls. I hope they won't be getting new dresses for the end of year graduation night.

The camp itself, no fantastic food (I wonder why the students were made to pay so much). The rooms were reasonably comfortable (but still not worth the money). The girls are asking for hotels (they probably don't feel the pain of the bad economy). They enjoyed the talks (while I was feeling bored at the back of the room, and ended up marking their assignments). It was a tiring camp, because I only had 4 hours of sleep on the second day (activities from 6.30am till 11.30pm with roll-call at 12 plus).

I must say, I had a good time talking to some of the teachers. I think, they are indeed good role models for the girls, who are passionate about teaching and concerned bout the girls.

Took some photos with my beautiful girls, you may view them on facebook. If not for my wrinkles and worried face, I'll probably look like one of them.

The hectic three weeks are finally over. I wonder if any of our teams make it to the final round. I guess no matter what the results are, whether I have met the targets or not, the more important thing is that the girls have learned from the experience and have been stretched in one way or another. Of course, I'm sure I'll be disappointed if none of my groups is selected, but I believe this is part and parcel of life which we have to learn to accept.

Next week is graces camp. It is going to be exciting for both myself and the girls. Too bad we aren't staying in the same block.

My four weeks of SMO training has ended too. I hope my explanations made sense to them. Some of the girls are really outstanding, I believe with good guidance and inspirations, they will be able to excel.

Everyday, more than 12 hours is spent on work, another hour on travelling. There's little time left for my closed ones, not to mention time for self-reflections and blah blah. I'm trying to convince myself that I'm doing so because I love my students, which I believe, it is really the case. Just yesterday, I spent two hours with one student, to bridge the gaps for the lessons she had missed coz of softball matches. I tried cheering her up, because she lost the match in the morning, which disqualified us for semi-finals. The two hours were intended for reading reports. So I ended up reading them on my way home and another hour in my intended sleep time.

I remember when my mum was all emo and upset when she got robbed, she asked if my job is more important than her. That was when she wanted me to accompany her to get her new ic and atm cards, and I told her I had to be in school in the afternoon. The question upset me, because I felt as if both parties were stretching to tear me apart. In the end, I convinced her, I'm efficient enough in handling things, and therefore, I can make both my priorities.

I always claim I'll not have any children next time. Financial issues, fear and whatsoever aside, the main reason was responsibilty. I cannot assure that I can give my child as much attention as I'm giving to my students. Ever heard of stories about the parents of a naughty problematic kid are principal and discipline mistress of other schools. I don't want to see myself grooming other kids into respected members of society, and leaving my own children unattended.

At this moment, I am pleased with what I have. I will treasure them.

The preliminary round is finally over! One more Saturday to be spent at plmgs as a judge and that's it. Hopefully I can find some time to skim through the 9 reports before next Sat.

Quite stressed over the hosting of yesterday's prelim round. Lots of little things to look into, from water and refreshment to booking of LTs, printing of rubrics and consent forms, loaning of jackets for the students, sitting in for their rehearsals, pasting of signs to direct people to the LT, finding a emcee, venting the scripts, collecting keys and every other thing. Stressful, but valuable experiences gained. Really grateful towards my student helpers who showed lots of initiative during the event, and my colleagues who gave numerous reminders and advices. And of course, my friend yenchin for pasting the signs with me on Mon.

Sec 4 class photo taking on Friday. My first class photo with my form class. I think it was a good arrangement for all subject teachers to be in the photo as well. Too bad we never had this last time. Of course, the down side was that the teachers had to miss a number of lessons and had to rush the following week.

Last SMO training session next week. Can't wait to pass it to my colleague, who will be teaching them for the following seven weeks. Those sessions are draining my energy. I was dead tired after each session that I would sleep at 9 plus the very night. Worse still, I had to miss remedial with my girls.

Whole entry on work. It reflects I've no life.

The flowers I got on my Valentine's Day were dead before I took a photo of them. Poor flowers. My pink creative MP3 player is more reliable. Haha. I get to listen to my favourite songs on my way home from work. It keeps me from thinking about my students.

Argh. I need time to rest, cut my hair, cut my nails and everything. Ok, fine fine, I'll not kick a fuss, coz I am quite happy with what I'm doing and my girls are making progresses.

Half way into Term 1. I thought the past five weeks have been hectic. The worse has yet to come. My next three Saturday mornings gonna be burnt.

I have in mind what I want to do for the next couple of days. Hope I'll be focused and determined enough to finish off the stuff, and if there's a need to, I'll say "I'm busy now, can I talk to you next time?" Oh man, I can't believe I've to resort to chasing my students away when I've to meet some horrible deadline that isn't academically related. So much about teaching...

Hopefully things will be better in three weeks time.

I vomited out my dinner last night. Probably due to stress. Oh well, I think I gonna conserve some energy, because I'm not sure who really appreciate my hard work.

I heard my naughty princesses have turned into well behaved good girls this term. My own lazy don't-want-to-do-homework girl has evolved into an enthusiastic student. They are the very reasons that I wanna hang on. With the increase in admin load, more academic unrelated stuff, more competitions to oversee, I'm beginning to have less time for my students. Seriously, I'm trying hard to have a more balanced life, both inside and outside of school.

I think I need a hobby. I really miss my nus days.

The shenyang visitors came and left. They had been really hospitable when I was there. Before they left Singapore, they left me with lots of meaningful gifts. In contrast, I must have been a really bad host, yet they put in lots of nice words of me in front of my superiors.

Once they left, I was occupied with the project reports to be submitted for the project festival. It was a nightmare. Really fed up looking at wrongly labeled diagrams and equations filled with errors. I think, I must have been a nice student last time, because I checked my work at least five times before submitting to my supervisor. Why! What did I do to deserve these now!

Must scold the kids after CNY.

In the end, I ended up making the amendments for the students. In a way, I felt that the competition has lost its essence of cultivating future researchers. Now, it is a competition of how creative teachers are, and how much time we want to invest in proof-reading and correcting students' reports. And I mean large scale revamping of the report.

Whatever. Of course, there's work review. I declared I'll only take six project groups and nothing more. Six groups is more than enough to kill me.

Anyway, it's finally CNY. Long break. Finally some time to rest. After I've completed the four piles of marking... Seriously, this is nothing compared to what I had went through last year.

Gonna clean my room. Yes, I must. There's not much rubbish to throw, because I hadn't the time to create any rubbish in my room in the first place. So I'll just make sure the tables are sparkling clean.  Yes, and clear my school mail inbox. It is flooded.

Happy CNY!

Having a good break from work. Such a nice feeling to be able to rest and spend time with family.  Despite being at home every single day, I admit I had been neglecting my parents during the past two weeks.

Didn't take out my camera in time, so not many photos to post, except for those of my nephew. Such a cute and lovely boy. He must be thinking I'm the new doll. He had great fun pulling my hair.







Went to wq's house after that. The third consecutive day I'm meeting him since Saturday. Played mahjong, and when we went back to my place in the evening, we played mahjong again. I won! Yay! Too bad my mum lost. I must say, I really admire her generousity. She was still smiling brightly when she lost thirty dollars. Of course, she has neven been a calculative person when it comes to spending on her family members.

Have been busy ever since school started. Anything and everything summed up, resulting in my rising stress level. My first few weeks as a form teacher: I was overwhelmed with forms. New duties, new committees. Luckily, no new names to remember.

Second week, and I'm into the third chapter. Haha, my kiddos must be equally stressed. Poor girls. Coupled with my difficult quiz, I bet some of them are feeling very moody today. I won't be surprised if they went home and sob under their pillows. Well well...

I must say I'm quite glad to meet my former students who are now in Sec 3. I was with my visitors on Monday, and students kept waving at me. The visitors must have been shocked by this waving culture. They are probably expecting students to bow and so on. Yes, they are probably wondering why our classrooms are so dirty and students take no initiative in cleaning up the school. In China, students are in charge of cleaniness, including that of the toilets.

It's only week 2, and I'm like half dead.  Another long day tomorrow. Can't wait for my visitors to leave and CNY to come.

It's 2009! Happy New Year.

I have enough of reflections in school. Haha, so to make things simple for myself, I'll just make a list of resolutions for the year ahead.

1. Strike a balance between work, family, bf and friends.
2. Take care of my health (I don't want to be hospitalized again!).

ok, that's all. Basically, I just aim to survive 2009, with my load of responsibilities in school. Of course, I'm hoping for a promotion, so that I can survive better with my housing loan.

My last entry for 2008.

Was back for staff meeting on Mon and Tue. Information overload. Overwhelmed with emails meant for form teachers. I can't believe I'm going to be form teacher next year. That's so different from the original plan of offloading me. Apart from that, I'm given two buddies, not to take care of me, but for me to take care of. How wonderful. I simply hope I can survive the year ahead. For now, it seems mission impossible.

To some extent, I look forward to go back to school to see my students. I hope my love for my students can keep me going for the rest of the year. Yes, even though I'm going to get more and more busy, I'm still feeling positive about what lie ahead. No matter what, it is still better than going back to far-far-away-land and having to see x-c.

Took my graduation shot with my family members last Sunday. Though taking the photo plus having lunch together took less than three hours, it warmed my heart, simply for the fact that we are doing something together as a family. When siblings grow up and start their own family, opportunities for the whole family to do something together became rather rare. I'm glad to have the baby in the photo, because, our family traits are finally passed down to the next generation.

Quite pleased with the service quality of the staff of Serangoon Broadway. The photographers are well prepared with different tactics to please the baby and gather his attention. Bells, musical instruments, even windmills. The staff helped me put on the gown, and I realized I probably wore my gown the wrong way during Honours commencement. Haha. Of course, their good service came with a price. The photo samples will be ready next week.

Merry Christmas! 4 more days to end of 2008. Mixed feelings for 2009.

I put my work aside to try as hard as possible to enjoy myself before school reopens. Met up with friends, went shopping, played games etc. I wish for a longer holiday and the thought of going back to school, mentoring projects, having a form class put me off. So, I decide not to think too much about it for now.

Everywhere is on sale. I queued for 20 minutes before I could even enter Isetan, not to mention the amount of time I spent waiting for fitting rooms and cashier. It was simply packed with people. My gosh, I think the crowds were scary. I read the newsletter beforehand, walked one round, grabbed all the items I had in mind and left. The whole process took me one and half hour (all thanks to the queues). Spent quite a lot over the month, and so I decided to skip the sales in Metro and Taka. The winter clothes for Shenyang trip really cost a bomb. The trip cost me over 1k.

Was thinking of getting some storrage cabinets for my living room. Relatives have complained that the living room is in a big mess, in contrast to the other parts of the house (haha, my room is definitely the neatest, coz I pack it every two weeks). To get a series of cabinets to store all my dad's stuff is really a big challenge. Browsed Ikea website, and none looks suitable. Sigh, three of my shelves were occupied by his stuff too.  Felt like throwing some away.

Going to take my graduation photo and family photo at Serangoon Broadway tomorrow.  Gonna cost me a lot again. My bonus is burnt.