Back in far-far-away-land for a series of lectures and workshops. I couldn't help but felt that they are treating us like little kids. By little kids, I mean those below 8 years old. I wonder how much enthusiasm they are expecting from us. Consider these: we are going all the way to far-far-away-land during the June holidays, and the LT isn't near to any bus-stop. AND, we have to do so for two weeks. We couldn't help feeling restless. For talks like financial literacy which most of us find beneficial, the LT was silent and people are attentive. Some talks got to be scraped. We shouldn't have such talks and workshops just for the sake of filling up our two weeks, so that we don't get paid for nothing. At the end of the day, there's nothing but mutual displeasure. People are thinking of taking MC to account for their absence and the lecturers are "cursing" that we'll get retribution.

Shouldn't we use our resources wisely to create win-win situations for both parties?

Anyway, half of the time I was engrossed with the combinatorics book and fascinated by how bijectivity is being applied to solve the questions. In this way, time past more quickly, and journeys to far-far-away-land become more bearable.

Was to NUS this afternoon. Had lunch with gohie and passed the nie notes to jiale. Gohie looked astonished when he saw the bag of notes. Lol, and he flashed me the disapproval look for stressing his student. I'm absolutely delighted to get rid of the notes, as for jiale, I think my notes will save him hours of photocopying stuff at the library.  I had problem lugging the notes and the bag of dumplings onto the bus. Well well, I managed anyway. See, I may be stronger than what you think.

Had coffee with my idol after that. He never failed to spring some shocking news. This time round, he bought a new condominium. Despite earning lots, he led a thrifty lifestyle. Imagine a full professor walking to school everyday, goes to restaurants once a month only and never thought of getting a car. His hobby is research and up till this day, he is still happy and excited about his job. Haha. I think this is so wonderful, to be able to earn a living by doing what one loves. I bet he hasn't thought of retiring. See, my idol is so impressive. I need to educate my students to idolize such outstanding man.

I was so excited when he said he thinks I'm good and admits that he likes me as a student. Oh man, I was trying so hard to hide my excitement and smile at the same time. :D And before he left, he said "we must keep in touch". Arr.. I'm melting.

Wanted to visit some other lecturers, but they weren't around. What a pity.

Stayed till 6 plus. Oh man, I really miss my days as a student in NUS.

Few days ago, some fellow from ntu called regarding the thanksgiving. I bluntly told him I've no sense of belonging to the school! He tried to persuade. But you see, if I'm not interested in digging out money from my wallet, it is almost impossible to convince me otherwise. Anyway, I quickly thanked him for calling, and hanged up the phone. I think he must be quite stunned. Well, I'll use this technique to handle salesmen next time.

Been some time since my previous update. Have been busy spending money, now I'm back coz I need to curb my spending and be a good girl to study at home.  I have already spent 400 plus in less than two weeks. Ok, that's my threshold liao. Got to save up for more important stuff.

Two more chapters to go for the plane geometry notes. Good to know the stuff coz they'll come in handy in SMO training, and even the normal class notes. Yah yah, our math notes are quite deep. On the other hand, I heard that some gifted kiddos in some jc are taught the epsilon-delta stuff. Cool right? (ok, maybe my idea of cool is quite different from yours) I'm impressed when I know that they are given projects which aren't graded, and yet they are motivated to do well in them and are enthusiastic about them. Wonderful kiddos.  Hmm.. I wonder if I can try these out on my sec 4s next year.

Met up with my uni friends on Sunday. Glad to know that everyone is coping well with their studies and work. And my sauwai is happily attached (she proudly showed us her ring and photos).

Shall go back to my notes. Teachers got to be good role models right. Haha. Before that, here's a photo of my newborn nephew. Taken at the hospital. I think he's a vain boy (lol): he'll open his eyes when I say "hey, handsome boy, take photo"; and refused to respond otherwise. Maybe I'll try "Riemann is here" next time. He is likely to ignore me though.



Speaking of photos, I managed to rescue my SD card on Saturday night. Apparently, the storage size did not increase, after I deleted over 200 photos. Had to format it using my dad's computer, and ran into problems like warnings of my card being write-protected, and when it was finally formatted, my camera couldn't read the card. All thanks to the world wide web, where I managed to get the solutions to solve the problems. If not for these solutions, I would have went to purchase another SD card.

This is my last week of practicum. My workload seems to increase with time, instead of decreasing. Have to mark everything and return them to the kiddos by this week. Oh man, it makes me feel like a machine. Input assignments and output marked ones. Haha.

Was on MC today because of stomach flu. :( I think it is due to the durian puff + banana + water melon combination. I have never eaten so much fruits at one go. Thought I could take this opportunity to mark some stuff at home, but ended up sleeping the whole day and dreamed of my students. Lol. Not of much difference from going to school.

Now there's a fever as well. Sigh. My body is breaking down.

Everyday I've teachers and/or students asking me if my posting result is out. Or more subtly, did you receive any letter from MOE last few days? It is making me nervous too. So much so that I dreamed of it last night. And vomited after waking up from the nightmare. Haha. Well, I think I'll be slightly upset if I'm not posted back to my practicum school. I hope to stay on and witness my math class getting 100% passes and then 100% distinctions. I think some of them showed good improvement in the last quiz. Haha. 9 of them got full marks and the median was like 8.5. They said I was lenient, yet, several approached me to bargain for marks.

Anyway, I think I'll go and take a rest before I collapse on my comp table. I need to go and exercise after I recover. Have been falling sick way too often these days.

Counting down to end of practicum. 3 more days.

Was reading my students' blogs just now. They were complaining bout having lots of homework. I totally understood how they feel. My day was burnt on marking assignments and preparing tomorrow's lesson. Sian. But I must say, their pile of work looks more intimidating than mine. Poor girls.

I'll be leaving soon. Haha. And I'm beginning to scare myself with possibilities of being posted to a neighbourhood school. Oh my gosh. I don't want to have nightmares every night. I was looking super strict during my ESE. In the day, I witnessed the DM screaming at kiddos. At night, I dreamed of her screaming at me. Oh man, I just want to serve my bond in peace.

Anyway, I'm really quite touched by what one student posted on her blog. Haha. She said she wanna do well for tomorrow's quiz coz I'll be leaving soon. Lol. Well well, I think my class will pass. I really hope so anyway. I marked their block test paper and another quiz. I could mark the scripts calmly because I was not the one who taught them those topics. Haha. Tomorrow's quiz will be a reflection of their understanding. Not only that, but also how well I've been teaching. I'm quite stressed ok. Lol.

I'm really quite tired. I need a break. Sigh. On the other hand, when I finally get to take a break, it'll mean it is time to go back to nie once again.

Counting down to the end of practicum. Did I say I'm developing some form of phobia for Physics lessons? My CT was hinting explicitly that he wanna see some form of group work in my class. Well well. Did I say I've some kind of phobia for group work ever since I was marked down by my math CT some other day?

I think I've some kind of problem. I have been staying in school till 5 plus everyday. My earliest day was like 5pm. I feel that I've got millions and zillions of things to do. Consultations are taking up lots of my time. But I really don't want to turn my kiddos down. I think it is the best time to clarify their doubts. Like what my mum put it, it shows that they wanna learn, which is a good sign. And so, I leave school late, and have to bring stacks of stuff home to mark. Now, my social life involves only my colleagues and my students.

Marking their AMES now. To be frank, I'm really impressed with my students' solutions. For some of them, I dare say their mathematical maturity is higher than some math majors or some math trainees in NIE. Perhaps they are even better than xiaocai. Haha. And my class is one of the weaker classes. AND, they claim they dislike math. Imagine if they love math?!?! I think my girls are really talented in one way or another. Really. Haha. They probably dislike math because they are even better in some other areas! Right, and I probably have no choice coz math is like my greatest strength liao.

I think I need to start reading and catching up on my math, so as to feel more superior than my kiddos. Lalala.

My labour day is going to be burned on marking. Sigh. Need to mark and return everything to them by next Friday. Yawn.

Wonder what I should get for my kiddos next Friday?! Hmm. Chocolates? Cards? Sweets? Toys? Hmm. I don't remember getting anything from relief teachers. Indeed, I don't even remember getting anything from my teachers, except for a FOC badge for topping Chemistry. okok, I'll be nice to be kiddos.

I've just checked my schedule. To my horror, I've to go back to NIE on 12 May! And other days for like 2 hrs?! Waste of my time and energy. I wanna pass NIE and get out of there. I can't stand the long journeys.

My idol got the best researcher award! Yay.

My mum and I were mesmerized by his picture on the university website. One look at it, you can feel that he is a man of great intellect and power. Lol. He looks so good in the picture.

I miss him. I miss my supervisor as well. If only my supervisor outstanding educator award, then it'll really be 双喜临门 for math department.  Sometimes, I feel really so fortunate and pleased that they appreciate my research and are both very encouraging towards me to attain greater heights. With their absence in NIE, I felt really lost. Coupled with other issues, those few months had been a torture. Sigh. To think that I'll be going back in two weeks time. Argh. Seriously, I rather stay in school and write a few more lesson plans. Of course, nothing beats going back to NUS to study.

Anyway, the past week has been really stressful. Had 5 observations. Oh man. That's really horrible. The students probably realized how stressed I was, and were relatively cooperative on most days. Except the session when my SCM was in. He left half way. Bad sign. I'll not think too much about it. Life goes on anyway.

Time to do my lesson plan. Yawn. Short week next week. Yay.

Lost my voice. I'm going to have a super difficult time in 3/3 tomorrow. Sigh. I feel that I can't really control that class, and my rapport with the students isn't that good. Well well, headache. I wonder if they'll appreciate the very fact that I'm struggling to stand in front of the class, when i should be at home resting my throat. 3 consecutive physics periods. That's going to be a nightmare. Sigh. If I'm a student, I think 3 consecutive periods of physics is going to take my life away.

Anyway, I think I'm dying from the bad cough. My voice is really really cannot make it. Sigh. I miss the days when I was a student. I could yawn and make noise. I can even switch off and ignore the teacher if I want to. Now is retribution time. It is sometimes so freaking hard to engage the girls. Well well, maybe my job will be much easier if I'm so handsome and young male teacher. Haha. But anyway, I think teaching is tough. Tomorrow, I gonna stay back after school so that my kiddo can sit for a 2hr test. Friday, I gonna stay back for remedial. Saturday, I gonna go back for remedial and SMO. I have no life.

The only comforting thing is, I find that I'm getting slightly closer to my math class. As in, I feel that they are more willing to ask questions and approach me now. Haha. I think I smiled damn sweetly at one particular girl the very first time she asked a question in class. She used to keep quiet during lesson. And now, she asked me at least one question each day, which I think is a good sign. Seriously, I'm quite hopeful that the whole class will pass the next math quiz.

Time to rest. Sigh. I hope I'll get well soon.

Feeling very sick. Sob. What a wonderful way to spend my birthday weekend. Sigh.

Have been really busy during practicum, so much so that I feel that I'm not in control of my life. Everyday is a routine of travelling to school, going for lessons, preparing lesson plans, meetings, consultations, going home, eating, sleeping and so on. All my friends are probably just as busy as I am, and I must say, it is really nice of them to remember my birthday. I'm really glad that I'm still on their mind, despite the little time we are spending with one another now.

I'll probably forgotten that it's my birthday, if not for all my loved ones who constantly remind me to go and choose a birthday present.

Anyway, I had my first formal observation by my NIE supervisor last Friday. It was quite horrible in my opinion. :( Nevertheless, I'm simply glad it is over. Haha, and my supervisor said I'll be a wonderful teacher. Lol. So encouraging of him. I just wanna graduate from NIE.

Although I've made numerous remarks on how stressed and busy I am during practicum, I *still* think it is heaven, as compared to NIE. I don't mind working 14 hours everyday. As long as I see the purpose and find the things I do challenging and meaningful. Most importantly, I'm allowed to be chim, because my job there is to stretch the girls' potential.

Even though many think that NUS lecturers can't teach, on the contrary, I think I have many great teachers there who taught me the true spirit of learning and teaching. Before I enter NIE, I have great aspirations. I want to be a good teacher, just like gohie. I want to promote a thinking culture in my classroom and develop students to become life-long learners. I want to develop my own teaching philosophy, which is a melting pot of that of my idols' and gohie's.

My interest in Math was killed in NIE. Luckily there's still gohie who is very encouraging towards my research. If not, my interest would be completely wiped off. Therefore, before I started practicum, I swear that I'll never ever kill a student's interest in the subject. During these few weeks of practicum, I was stressed, but at the same time, I was happy because I can be myself once again. There's Prof Xu, who is very passionate bout math and math education. Talking to him on Saturdays is a joy.

So, I don't look forward to 9th May as much as the others.

Tired tired. I'll fall asleep the very instant I lie on a bed. Sleep deprived.

Have conducted six consultation sessions over the past one week. I think I gonna start remedial next week. This means, I gonna have even lesser time to do my own stuff. The so-called my-own-stuff are lesson plans are powerpoint slides. So you see, I basically have no life.

I managed to two of my math students today, which made me feel encouraged. One said she likes the pace of my lesson and she understands everything. Great, at least the high ability kiddo in my class doesn't feel bored. Then while I was conducting remedial for another student, the so-called lowest achieving student in my class, she managed to solve one long question by herself, without any careless mistake. All I did was to give her a summary and strategy on how to approach such problems and went through two other examples before that. She is smart. And she is humble and careful. Oh man, give me a year, I think she'll be one of the best math students in the class. Too bad my days with this class gonna be limited.

My HOD came in in the middle of my lesson, and I didn't realize her presence for some time. I saw her sitting down, and I had no idea when she left. I was so engrossed with my explanation that I didn't feel stressed.

I feel that life is tough during practicum. Still, it is million times better than THOSE days. Had a great discussion with my idol this morning. He was basically trashing *********. I think as educators, we shouldn't think too highly of ourselves. We should seek opportunities to learn new things and improve. Anyway, I'll just stop here before making any offending remark.