Have been so occupied with lesson plans and powerpoint slides that I practically have no time for other things. No life. Of course, the sad thing is, sometimes I thought I've came up with such a fantastic and inspiring lesson plan, but in the end, some girls wrote on their blogs that I'm boring.

My class did not do well for math. One girl failed by one mark, and I really-really felt sorry for her. You know, I could just add one mark to her paper and this will probably brighten up her day. But I can't. I got to be fair to everyone. And I think this one mark is going to have a great impact upon her. Started my first lesson on quadratic functions, and I can see she is quieter than before. I looked into her eyes. I saw a mixture of sadness, fury, disappointment, and more importantly, the desire to work hard to pull up her score. If she is to sustain it, I think she'll do well eventually.

At the same time, this reminds myself not to get too disheartened after reading the comments on my student's blog. To sustain the passion and make sure everyone pass the next block test.

I'm such a result-oriented person. Yet, I realize I still love my students, no matter how badly they have performed. To me, they are worth more than just a grade. And I really believe that if they choose to settle down and work hard, they'll make it. Haha. The next female professor in the math department is in the making.

Haha. So as my students are trying hard to pass the coming math quiz, I'm trying hard to become a good teacher.

My first lesson. The girls were pretty enthusiastic. One question after another. Towards the end of the bombing session, I was perspiring. Lol. Luckily I managed to answer their questions. Hope the revision helped.

Luckily there was only one visitor. My friend had four. I would have fainted if four came into my class at the same time. Pressurizing. The thing about teaching smart students is that, they know the visitors are here to observe the teacher. In a neighbourhood school, they would probably think the visitors are here to observe them, and so, they'll try to behave.

From Week 3 onwards, I'll be having really frequent classroom observations. At least twice each week. Luckily my CTs are guys. Guys tend to pay less attention to discipline issues. For today, one student came in late without greeting me, and this resulted in two crosses. Great damage. And the feedback for today was that, I had been too fast. I think my CT would probably think I crawled like a snail. Different teachers, different expectations. Well well.

Found some of my students' blogs. One was really entertaining. Now, I've evidence of them drawing cartoons at the back of the class. Haha. I think I did something similar when I was a student. Retribution. Well well, though I did weird things once in a while, I had been a good student ok.

ok time to sleep. Had to invigilate some classes tomorrow. I hope my students did well for their math test tomorrow.

LSC is over. Yay. Wait till whoever uploads the photos into the e-photos folder and I can take some to post up here.

It was much busier than what I expected. You know, I thought I just slack and do my lesson plans. Ended up moving about with the students or being station masters. As a student, I was never enthusiastic bout such activities. Haha, so don't expect me to be enthusiastic now.

Anyway, something unpleasant happened yesterday. I think someone hinted that she'll be against me from now on. Well well. Likely to be a misunderstanding. The culprit who caused the misunderstanding is to be blamed. I was quite unhappy over it, but I guess the possibility of leaving the school after practicum brightened things up. Of course, wherever I go, such office politics will be in place. The difference lies in whether I have a friend or a senior teacher to support me, or at least, believes that I'm not the one out there causing problems. This trust has to be built up over time.

I'm not saying that my current school sucks. In fact, I really love its environment, my HOD, my CTs and some of the students. My point is, we should always be wary of ones with different working styles. I woke up in the middle of the night feeling depressed. I wondered what I did wrong to deserve this. This is only the second week. I'm not even fighting for anything.

As I was talking to my mum this morning, I was reminded of the game show 一笔out消.

在八名挑战者中，最后只有一个胜利，如果你弱，必被人抛弃，不被他们接受做伙伴，如果你一开头就表现得强，必为其他人妒忌，被人孤立，就很容易中间时被投票踢你出局。虽然到最后一轮，还是要靠真正的实力再加上运气。但整个过程，都是从另一角度演译着真实的人生。

I must be careful of what I say from now on. Welcome to the working world.

Been some time since my last post. Was posted to the school of my choice (yay!) since last week. So far so good. The Math HOD is a friendly lady. I really like her. The girls roared into laughter when the other trainee and I were introduced to the school, because of our big height difference. Haha, her reaction was "you all so bad". She became my heroin since that day.

My Math CT is a thin and hardworking guy. He seems stressed. Haha. Imagine his stunned look when I told him I gonna submit a lesson plan to him for venting before each lesson. I think he almost freaked out. He is certainly a nice guy. Really appreciated him for making all the arrangements for me to observe other teachers. The gifted classes are indeed an eye opener. The girls are so motivated and on-task. With minimal scaffolding, they were able to prove certain results. They could do the example questions solely on their own. Oh my gosh. High ability kiddos.

Physics wise, I got to observe a SPA ("Something" Practical Assessment) In short, it is just some practical exam, whereby marks are awarded for every right procedure. It is really amazing how the teachers can observe twenty students at one go. Jaw dropped. As for my CT, I think he is very into ICT. Hands on, minds on. Lol.

I'm thinking if I should take down my old blog once I start teaching the girls. Oh well... It's not as if I've some big secret to hide, may it is alright to let them read about me? Well well, I'm making the assumption that they are interested enough to go and google bout me. Haha.

I really like the school environment. Especially to Eco-Pond and the super-grand library. It really put our Science Library to shame. Too bad I can't borrow the books. Probably going to drag my Math CT there for a walk, and help me borrow some books.

On the other hand, the induction at my ESE school was much better. I located the bookshop, hall, library, staff room on my own. I settled in pretty quickly with the help of Yen Chin and the math department teachers. But I thought maybe the school should at least ask someone to bring us for a tour round the school or something?

The kiddos here can really scream. Maybe that's the thing with girls' schools. My ear drums almost burst today. And I heard stories of how they played the telematch. Lol. Surprisingly, some of them are as short as me. Hehe. It really made me feel better.

Anyway, better relax as much as possible, before the real thing kicks in. These days, my brain functions like 286 after 7pm. Daytime, I think it can run at pentium 1.

Now I really believe in music therapy. It cured my headache.

Was working on some SMO questions in the afternoon. The questions in senior section were alright, but not those in open section. Haha. I have to work hard.

I wonder if I was given the opportunity to go for olympiad training, would I dread the training sessions or would I be intrinsically motivated to attend each session.

Ever since the time I went on stage to get the badge for top scorer in AMC, I began to believe in Math competitions. Doing well in such competitions may not lead to one becoming a great Mathematician in future. One may not be able to come out with ground breaking theorems and results. However, I believe these competitions provide students with ample challenges to go beyond the syllabus. Minimally, these competitions reinforce the syllabus content.

I was never good in sports. Neither was I exceptionally good in debate or creative writing. Therefore, trophies and medals seem super far away. That badge was my first prize since secondary school. And from then on, I felt less deprived. Yes, I've this hunger for recognition. And I like shiny things like badges and medals. I must say, all these kept me going all these while. When intrinsic motivation is lacking, such extrinsic motivation drive the motor to work towards success.

I like what Terence Tao said in his book:

As a high school student, competing in mathematics competitions, I enjoyed mathematics as a sport, taking cleverly designed mathematical puzzle problems and searching for the right trick that would unlock each one. As an undergraduate, I was awed by my 1st glimpses of the rich, deep, and fascinating theories and structures which lie at the core of modern mathematics today ...

... how one approaches a mathematical problem for the first time, and how the painstaking, systematic experience of trying some ideas, eliminating others, and steadily manipulating the problem can lead, ultimately, to a satisfying solution.

Anyway, math competitions aside. I have finally handed in my thesis. Commencement this July! Too bad, my parents don't get the VIP seats this time round.

Sent the first draft of my paper to my supervisor. I foresee lots of corrections. I must say, those few days which I spent working on my paper, I really enjoyed them. I felt as if I'm in touch with an old friend again.

I'm not the one conducting the session. Just sat in for 2 sessions and observed how they were being conducted. Yes, and to learn some of the strategies to solve certain questions.  Prof Xu is such a nice guy. Woohoo.

The girls are well-behaved and motivated. Imagine going back for SMO training on a Saturday morning? 8am? Oh man, this is what I call intrinsic motivation. We were moving the chairs and the students who came in helped out, without any of us asking. My angels. I thought they would just stand there and wait! But no! They helped out. I'm damn impressed.

The questions in Open Section are difficult. And some of them solved them as if they are damn trivial. PRC scholars... Hmm.. I think the local students got to work harder!

Haha. Finally I get to be trained in SMO. The girls are so fortunate to have such trainings. There was no such thing in my secondary school during my time. Deprived. Not to mention that I was one of the last in my JC class for my first F. Math test. As I was telling WQ the other day, it was really lucky that I decided to whack myself real hard and did whatever possible to improve, otherwise... I think I wouldn't be what I am now. Certainly, I was lucky to have supportive teachers who are willing to push me all the way. Haha. That's why I believe in pushing students. I feel that the amount of time our local students spend on mathematics is way too little. This makes me sound like some slave driver. Haha. But you see, I don't remember myself spending any time on maths homework during my secondary school days. Everything could be completed within twenty minutes in class. In comparison, the kids in China are spending hours and hours on math. Naturally, they are way better than us.

Going to meet my CTs this coming Wednesday. Excited. Haha. Heard from YC that the principal may want each of us to deliever a speech on our first day. Oh my gosh. I've stage fright!!! Save me.

Haha. Like what KCM said, it's really good that we're still friends after all these years. And KayJin brought all of us together.  This picture consists of math majors from 4 different batches!

Majority of them are teachers. Lol. For the whole night, my ears were blasting with IP, SMO, AMC etc. I'll be part of all these in two weeks time. Ah... My first SMO training...

Anyway, it was great seeing all of them again. Glad to know that they're doing well.

Time to take a break at last. HAL project presentation was over. Most of my assignments were done. Which means... I can finally amend my thesis!

We spent the whole of Sunday working on the project. So you see, we did put in a lot of effort. The PowerPoint slides were damn nice (haha, they weren't made by me, that's why). The end product was a 70 pages long report with appendixes. It took me more than 12 hours to compile everything.  But I guess, the effort paid off.

Just need to print out my essays and I'll be done with this semester's assignments. Woohoo. Well well, that means it is practicum soon. I'll be going to meet my CTs and HODs next week. In no time, I'll start to feel nervous and excited. I was telling my mum that I hope I can handle all the PRCs there. And she replied with "It's not as if you're teaching Chinese", and she went on to elaborate how bad is my Chinese standard. Bleh.

Time to sleep.