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kaihin_lam
暱稱: Kai 軒
性別: 男
國家: 香港
地區: 屯門區
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2010 年 4 月 21 日  星期三   晴天


2010-04-21 分類: 未分類

 今日都冇咩特別...

番到去要早會...講地震+四川...

冇咩特別..

之後eng兩堂..

係jojoming試上eng d songs .

好鬼正...我決定左擇佢--因為我唔想要益文or winnie lau..

我想聽歌....

兩堂過得好開心..

好掛住f.3 d eng堂呀..

總算今次搵得番...

改歌詞個陣又係好gag...

You may say that I'm a  cheater
But I'm not the only one 
I hope someday you'll join us 
And the world will be "done"

LS兩堂...有d悶

不過都算係咁...

ict x2 教書...悶...好悶...

lunch又係入面d米粉...

掛住睇...之後遲左上

3個60分鐘既phy堂..

好頂癮...

好鬼赲...

不過都有d野笑既...

番到黎唔預做野...

.................................

目標: 見到佢都唔好驚..應該一d感覺都冇至岩...



2010 年 4 月 20 日  星期二   晴天


2010-04-20 分類: 未分類

 今日好赲..

好勉強咁起左身..

食左d野..

番去...

朝早做埋d dict corr

之後ict兩堂好悶...

不過算啦...

phy...又係用英文教...

佢話遲d搵maclean黎睇堂==

maths,又係教野,m2 就test,好驚...

ls, 講番ies同埋少少既文..冇咩特別...

eng...又係無聊...

lunch,入面個間炒米粉..

chin x2 

一開始係背默..

好多gag野...

賓佬斬荊棘變左軟荊棘==

之後講咩講野手法..

余思行問有冇貨不對辦..

ms au就話"依句應該係你呀媽講"...

佢仲送左隻小仁嫂比我...幾得意...

放左學係度hea..hea到4點幾先走

係度討論430應該去邊好..(su生日)...

見到先去開始諗通啦...

開始明白一d野...

失去左既就任由其離去吧...

我會復原的...離開傷痛...

不再自作自受...



2010 年 4 月 19 日  星期一   晴天


2010-04-19 分類: 未分類

 琴晚又訓唔著..朝早差d起唔到身...

之後番到去...早會..留低曬d女仔好搞笑...

pe堂,未食早餐咁上...好赲...

chin x2 到我出去小組討論...

同譚思偉一組...==已經心感不妙..

有3分鐘既時間佢講野..

我完全插唔到咀(唔知佢講咩)...

之後charlie同佢對立..

又係唔知佢講咩..

係度扮野..咩聽唔清楚..聽唔明==

救命...

ms au有手信番...不過我唔鍾意食lee d 野...

ict堂..呀sir好似有d火咁...不過唔理啦..照惡搞...

maths堂,改份ies,不過佢都冇咩點教新野..

係後期先教..都ok啦...

lunch,因為已經食炒面食到驚..所以去左買燒味飯...

食完係週會...真係好鬼正...

條友真係好gag...最正係"你讀form 幾" "你地咁似既"...

同埋救隻狗個d...我想話叫隻狗救呀媽,再自己救老婆==

總之就好好笑啦...

完左仲要ft

寫到手軟...

不過都算做到..

唔理啦..

測完就搭車番黎..

冇咩特別...

 

想知又怕知道可怕的事實,,,那我應知定不應知...



2010 年 4 月 18 日  星期日   晴天


2010-04-18 分類: 未分類

其中一個鍾意聽lp既原因係d歌詞好應景...

 

 It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin

 

Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break

 

It's true, the way I feel
Was promised by your face
The sound, of your voice
Painted on my memories
Even if you're not with me
I'm with you

You, now I see, keeping everything inside
With you
You, now I see, even when I close my eyes

 

 pretend that the past isn't real
I'm trapped in this memory
And I'm left in the wake
Of the mistakes, slow to react
Even though you're close to me
You're still so distant
And I can't bring you back

 

These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real

There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, confusing
This lack of self control I fear is never ending
Controlling, I can't seem

To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced
That it's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure

 

I wanna run away
Never say goodbye
I wanna know the truth
Instead of wondering why
I wanna know the answers
No more lies
I wanna shut the door
And open up my mind

 

what do i do to ignore them behind me
do i follow my instincts blindly
do i hide my pride from these bad dreams
and give in to sad thoughts that are maddening
do i sit here and try to stand it
or do i try to catch them red-handed
do i trust some and get fooled by phoniness
or do i trust nobody and live in loneliness

because i can't hold on when i'm stretched so thin
i make the right moves but i'm lost within
i put on my daily facade but then
i just end up getting hurt again

by myself (myself)
i ask why (but in my mind i find)
i can't rely on myself (myself)
i ask why (but in my mind i find)
i can't rely on myself (myself)

i can't hold on
(to what i want when i'm streched so thin)
it's all too much to take in
i can't hold on
(to anything, watching everything spin)
with thoughts of failure sinking in

if i turn my back i'm defenseless
and to go blindly seems senseless
if i hide my pride and let it all go on
then they'll take from me til everything is gone
if i let them go i'll be outdone
but if i try to catch them, i'll be outrun
if i'm killed by the questions like a cancer
then i'll be buried in the silence of the answer

by myself (myself)
i ask why (but in my mind i find)
i can't rely on myself (myself)
i ask why (but in my mind i find)
 
i can't rely on myself

i can't hold on
(to what i want when i'm streched so thin)
it's all too much to take in
i can't hold on
(to anything, watching everything spin)
with thoughts of failure sinking in

how do you think i've lost so much
i'm so afraid, i'm out of touch
how do you expect i will know what to do
when all i know is what you tell me to

don't you know
i can't tell you how to make it go
no matter what i do, how hard i try
i can't seem to convince myself why
i'm stuck on the outside

don't you know
i can't tell you how to make it go
no matter what i do, how hard i try
i can't seem to convince myself why
i'm stuck on the outside

i can't hold on
(to what i want when i'm streched so thin)
it's all too much to take in
i can't hold on
(to anything, watching everything spin)
with thoughts of failure sinking in

 

You Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on, Didn't even know 
I Wasted it all just 
(To watching you go)
I kept everything inside and even though I tried 
It all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be, a memory of a time when 

I tried so hard and got so far but in the end 
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall to lose it all but in the end
It doesn't even matter

I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know

 

I'm sick of the tension, sick of the hunger
Sick of you acting like I owe you this
Find another place to feed your greed
While I find a place to rest

I want to be in another place
I hate when you say you don't understand
(You'll see it's not meant to be)
I want to be in the energy, not with the enemy
A place for my head

 


I've lied to you
The same way that I always do
This is the last smile
That I'll fake for the sake of being with you

Everything falls apart even the people who never frown eventually break down
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
Everything has to end you'll soon find we're out of time to watch it all unwind
The sacrifice is never knowing

Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see your testing me pushes me away
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see your testing me pushes me away

I've tried like you
To do everything you wanted too
This is the last time
I'll take the blame for the sake of being with you

Everything falls apart even the people who never frown eventually break down
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
Everything has to end you'll soon find we're out of time to watch it all unwind
The sacrifice is never knowing

Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see your testing me pushes me away
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see your testing me pushes me away

we're all outta time, you'll soon find how it all unwinds
The sacrafice of hiding in a lie
we're all outta time, you'll soon find how it all unwinds
The sacrafice is never knowing

Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see your testing me pushes me away
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see your testing me pushes me away

Pushes me away



2010-04-18 分類: 未分類

 我真係估你唔到!



2010 年 4 月 17 日  星期六   晴天


2010-04-17 分類: 未分類

 我只想要一個確切的答案...使我不要再想....

 

答案是什麼我應該知道..只是不想接受現實的殘酷...



2010-04-17 分類: 未分類

希望她不是故意在這個時候才去做些什麼去令我沮喪...

人在中大..(朝9晚5)..好赲..



2010 年 4 月 16 日  星期五   晴天


2010-04-16 分類: 未分類

 很想逃避...

但在這不能打機的日子...

我真的什麼也做不了了...

沒有任何動力去做任何事...

沒有任何方法去令自己不去胡思亂想...

事情去到這樣的一個地步已經是不可再挽救了...

我希望可以復原...洗掉過去的記憶....但很顯然地我是做不了...

對著自己不停地說不在乎...但內心介意得快死了...很不想自己不希望發生我事情發生...

我當然不重要...別人當然不需要理會我的感受...

唯有的是默默接受...我還可以有什麼行動?

剛剛才見證到看高自己會有什麼後果,那我還是繼續貶低自己吧...

終有一天..我會復原...只是那一天的問題....

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

琴晚唔想再4點醒

所以係遲左2個鐘訓...

結果果然係6點醒!太勁啦...==

之後遲左d起身...

照舊咁番去...

之後maths x2

早上maths真係好赲,,

quiz...後面唔識...

之後eng 變左ls...

係ls lab基本上係打機冇人理,...

搞到好赲..

兩堂過得勁快...

之後chem,有個人黎睇堂,

譚思偉又一力作--中途反應,仲有一堆野超好笑--

phy, 鄺sir無啦啦全程用英文教..

本來d人都諗住用英文問問題..

最後都係講番中文..

食河粉..

比人賣剩好少河..

之後我係度惡搞:成"烹"河粉!

好正...

之後英文x2

冇左407...

超唔開心..

冇得玩..

不過得hea左1堂..

派maths quiz..

錯左2題..

有一題係因為d字樣衰--

16太貼以為11..

奶左野..

之後完左仲要搵michael

聽日要成日去聽講座..

真係好想死..

但係冇計啦...

真係超唔想去...

番到黎唔想出去..

仲諗緊出唔出去食飯好..

 

 



2010 年 4 月 15 日  星期四   晴天


2010-04-15 分類: 未分類

琴晚訓左等於冇訓..4點醒都慣,仲特別加開6點場...

遲左d起身..遲左d出門口,遲左d番到去..

早讀,做chem...

ls x2 冇特別...教新野...

engx2,好耐未上過eng堂啦(ms fan)

孫輝: las vegas係阿拉斯加...

之後chem,冇咩特別..

係遲左3個字放..

煩....算啦...

令我諗番起黃偉智時代...

lunch,炒烏冬...

maths x2 ,教左好多野,好d驚又跟唔到...

放左學仲要留chem補課..

成個半鐘都勁頹...

之後番去..

走得先黎落雨...唔通連個天都唔鍾意我?..

樓下見到陳紫欣係度等車..

不過原來淋雨真係可以記番好多野...

我先開始明白我其實比起以前可以係180度變左..

唯一冇變就係依然係好懶...

問我人生仲有幾多意義..我真係答唔出...

當你既回憶已經掩蓋左你所有值得快樂的地方,什至是良心..

才會真正明白我的感受...

當你為著自己做錯的事而內疚時..

當有人告訴你家裡入不敷支..

當你以為一個關係融洽的家庭突然鬧家變...

當一個你最重視的朋友在有意無意之間出賣了你...

當你突然被強行加以一個沒犯下的罪名..

當你明明默默地做了很多,但從無人理會...

當自己開始看到一些自己完全讀不了的科目....

當你連一生認定最好的老師離你而去...

從前和你的朋友見面也無視了你...

當你發現原來做些壞事也不能,好事又做不了時...

當你愛上一個人時已知道幻想沒可能發生...

卻不能自拔...

到她開始不理會你時...

明知自己沒什麼能做...

到看到她口是心非的時候..

擔心影響到她時....

我覺得已超出我能接受的範圍...

解壓方法是0...

只有逃避...

也許喜歡一個人都只是逃避其他回憶的籍口..

希望得到別人的關心..

希望用快樂的回憶忘卻一切痛苦...

當然這方法沒有成功...

於是...我就打機啦..

打到天黑...

以前我真係可以完全唔打機..

但係我而家跟本係沉迷...

說得是逃避就不是一勞永逸的...

晚上也會失眠..

日日都訓唔好...

好辛苦..唔知自己而家究竟為左咩...

都係我講左兩年個句...

我又可以點做?我仲可以做d咩?

 



2010 年 4 月 14 日  星期三   晴天


2010-04-14 分類: 未分類

 根本唔駛講任何野,,,

用一首歌...太好用...

點解可以同我諗法完全一樣...



It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Something has been taken from deep inside of me
The secret I've kept locked away no one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show they never go away
Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played

轉載來自 ※Mojim.com 魔鏡歌詞網 
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)

[Chorus]
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something more
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back
And never moving forward so there'd never be a past

(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)

Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced
It's so much simpler than change

[Chorus]
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something more
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

It's easier to run
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made)
It's easier to go
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)




06.Easier To Run 03:24 說逃就逃


說逃就逃很容易

麻醉自己替代疼痛

說走就走

比在這裡獨自面對傷痛還容易



一部份被拿走

從我體內深處

一項深鎖已久的秘密

沒人看見過

傷口太深 不曾浮現過

它們縈繞不走

像是在腦中閃現的影片

年復一年不停地播放

如果可以 我願改變這一切

如果可以 我願趕走傷痛

如果可以 我願重踏那些誤踩的步伐

如果我可以

如果可以 我願挺身而出承攬過錯

我願帶著所有羞愧而死

如果可以



有時候我想起

過去最黑暗的回憶

這些記憶的回溯

恨不得不曾擁有過

有時候我想忘掉

並永遠只向前看

這樣就不會有過去



就把它洗掉吧

心中所有的無助

忽略丟失的感受

這樣比改變省事得多



說逃就逃很容易

麻醉自己替代疼痛

說走就走

比在這裡獨自面對傷痛還容易