I don't really know what to say right  now

I just felt that my heart is blank right now and i really want to write it out to release my disappointment

Everyday, I wake up at 7 something in the morning not because of i couldn't sleep until that late

it's just that i am eager to talk to u guys

everytime when i wake up in the morning, i felt like it's an urge for me to not go back to sleep again

today is a good example

i didn't sleep that early yesterday

most of the days, i need at least 9 hours (even though 10 hours is better) to make myself to be awake for the whole day

however, i knew that u can't stay up until that late and talk to me everyday

therefore, i chose to sacrafice my time to sleep and let us have more time to talk

most important, to let u have more sleep and don't have to sleep that late

after i come back to america, i fought against the sleepinest everyday in the afternoon

it's because i want to wake up early in the mornign and talk to u

i have a habit of sleeping two hours everyday in the afternoon in holidays

however, i forced myself not to do so so that i can easily fall asleep by 9:30 and so that i can wake up that early in the mornig

it has become a habit to turn on the computer and msn everyday

i don't know if we can actually feel what each other is thinking

i had a dream in teh early morning today and saw the imagined window of msn in my dream

u told me in msn that u will not be on on tuesdays and u are not on today

before i got into msn, i really thought that it's just my imagination adn it's not true

however, fishball confirmed with me...

i was disappointed for sure

plz forgive me for my selfishness

without msn in the morning, i felt like today is not a day

well... maybe it's a day

but a sad day for sure