i feel so stressed out right now

i am so stressed out today

after the presentation by the counselor during english class, i felt like there's no fun in the world after all

the counselor implied to us that the people in ur class are no longer ur friends

they are ur competitors

every single homework assignment and tests are so important that they are all counted

he reminded us that these two years, sophmore and junior years are so important because colleges pay close attention to them

i am already working so hard right now that my pressure is a heavy thing on my back

however, after today, i felt like my life right now is work and fight and get the first place

if i am not the first in my class, i am a loser, a failure

i am so afraid that i am going to turn crazy after all

i am afraid that i would be too depressed and not be interested in life anymore

how come everything is so different from my understanding?

people being around me might not be my friends after all

they might be people who want to know my grades and want help from me

that's not the kind of friends i want