Its been a while since my last entry, and I though I would never use this blog again.
This is just like a dream, study in England, got an offer from Cambridge, something that I would never dream of when I was a child.
But life is always full of unexpected and surprise, at the same time it is also full of regret and loneliness. We live ,but we don't have a life.
Life in England is not like that in Macau, it is more regular and more standard. The advantage of having such a life is that I can focus on my work,
but at the same time I feel like I am losing something gradually: feeling.
Since when have I stop feeling my own existence by doing some "stupid" thinking ?
I can't say its poetic, but it does make me feel my existence, its like pitching yourself to make sure that you are not in a dream.
Life is full of loneliness, Although I am never left alone, not in school house or in Macau, I still feel lonely.
Maybe I am missing the feeling of faintly painful and existence,or maybe I am being too "real" to be "real".
They said that studying abroad would broaden your mind, but me, as a foreign student, doesn't agree with them.
Instead it makes you forget what you think is a life,and as a result, you start losing yourself, forgetting your dream, and so on.
Who would actually understand me?
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