Its been a while since my last entry, and I though I would never use this blog again.

This is just like a dream, study in England, got an offer from Cambridge, something that I would never dream of when I was a child.

But life is always full of unexpected and surprise, at the same time it is also full of regret and  loneliness. We live ,but we don't have a life.

Life in England is not  like that in Macau, it is more regular and more standard. The advantage of having such a life is that I can focus on my work,

but at the same time I feel like I am losing something gradually: feeling.

Since when have I stop feeling my own existence by doing some "stupid" thinking ?

I can't say its poetic, but it does make me feel my existence, its like pitching yourself to make sure that you are not in a dream. 

Life is full of loneliness, Although I am never left alone, not in school house or in Macau, I still feel lonely.

Maybe I am missing the feeling of faintly painful and existence,or maybe I am being too "real" to be "real".

They said that studying abroad would broaden your mind, but me, as a foreign student, doesn't agree with them.

Instead it makes you forget what you think is a life,and as a result, you start losing yourself, forgetting your dream, and so on.

Who would actually understand me?