Compared to contemporary novels, this story is rather short. I only spent two days to finish it. But the message of this book is too deep for me, at least the current me, that I would like to spend another two days, and another two days, and another two days in the future for this work.

The story is simple, and is ubiquitous. Friendship in college, separated for further study or work, jobs and career, broken relationship, failed love affairs, left alone not knowing why, and regrets when old. The author didn't even use the word "regret", it's "remorse", a stronger feeling of weakness when you realize that there is nothing you can do to make amends.

The story started when the protagonist was in college, innocent yet longed for adventures, had dreams, and an age which sex was very appealing a milestone of being a grown-up. It decribed an unexpected, unreasonnable and mysterious suicide of a higher form student, which incurred rumours but lacked evidence, or 'corronation' in the author's word. Then came a failed amourous relationship with a girl whose family was of a higher level in society, and the betrayal of his friend to start a relationship with that girl, and another suicide, which this time it really happened to who he knew well. He said that suicide is always a wise choice, very witful one. "A logical act when faced with terminal illness or senility; a heroic one when faced with torture or the avoidable deaths of others; a glamorous one in the fury of disappointed love." (48).

Then he went on life, whether he wished to or not, because 'life is a gift that nobody ever requested'. He had anohter failed relationship which was his first and the last divorce. His life was like others', studied average, worked average, loved average, enjoyed average. When more than 70% of people alleged that their lives are 'above average', but then by definition they are average. We falsely believed that it is good and peaceful to live the average. Nothing can go better, but then nothing can ever turn disastrous.

But the unexpected thing happens, all the time. By saying unexpected, most of the time it means something unpleasant. Why? Because it's out tendency, to feel bad, to make ourself feel bad, to create shadows in a young stage that makes us miserable when we grow. In this story, a letter of his, which was sent to his friend who committed suicide, was retrieved when he was old. The curses written in the letter, with those sarcastic words that meant to sway self-esteem when he was told that his ex-gf was staying with his friend, turned out to have happened and it took his friend's life. Those words, the fury, the vengeance, was so temporary, that we might forget, or at least be washed away, in months, if not years. However, the damage is permanent, and as the writer stated repeatedly, "you still don't understand. You never did, and you never will." and we rather wish we never will. Who can ever be guilt-free anyway?

It is also said in the book that "when we are young, we invent our future; when we are old, we invent others' past." This is one of my favourite quotes form the book, because we did invent paths when we are young, and when our time has almost come, we try to interfere with others' lives. The use of contradivting 'future' and 'past' have successfully emphasized the karma, that our future will be our past, what you will do would become what you did. 

Rate: 7/10

This book is too deep for people my age, but at least we could grab something. Maybe by any slight chance, we can avoid some "past" to be regretted for.