22th January, 2010

i have never tried 'Painball' before and thus i really want to taste what it is like since i was 10 years old as it really awersome and i think i would feel like as if i were a soldier fighting in a war. I thought painballs are made of the material which is easy- broken and thus people will not get hurt from them, but dyestuff/ pigment on their body once they get shot. However, it is different to what i think it is since i went painball with them.

i went to Rouse Hill and played painballs together with my friends: Clinton, Aaron, Tom, Nesan, Min, Zaninal Kevin and other guy. it's 40 degree today according to the weather report. We did not start our 'War' at 10:00 a.m. as planned. The reason was that we waiting for the late guy- Tony.

We had been waiting for about 30 mins and seens that we were waiting for sth will not come true. They were getting annoying and so just started our 'War' without Tony. Soon we got into the office and get our booking, later there was a man going to show us what equipment we can get and how to use. Also, there was a advertisement put above the counter. It was showing us what the price of different upgraded guns, for example: From standard gun upgraded to Snipper. In the oher words, the more money you pay, the more powerful gun you can gun. Most of us got the standard package: a standard gun which can shoot 2 Balls per second, except some of them getting the most powerful one which shoot 17 balls per and with more bullets. Later, we got our weapon and out- fitting which was 迷彩色的. After we changed, we were staying at the counter and waiting for others. i was wondering what the interesting point with the advertisement they were looking at. That one was promopting meat pie or sth else,  i do not remember, and it written ' Very Cheap 3.50 per one' at the middle of the poster and written 'Nom Nom Nom' below the price. They were just tittering at it. =.="

After we had listened the safety instruction of using the weapon and the rules of the game, we moved on to our battlefield directly. The host had splited us into two groups and joined two other team respectively: Counter- terrorist and terroist. I wonder how do we cooperate well without getting know of them. So we had two teams: 9 vs 10.

Totally we had a war in two different area with different theme. In the first area, we was in where they had put many plastic tubs in each teams force to make  small mountains for defence and they were just a bit higher than me. At the middle, there was a tub- made helicopter and terroists will win if they can stay inside it for 3 mins then they win. i got headshot for three times in this area. In the second one, there was full of fences as well as bullets. People were fully fell in this area and they shot a lot like crazy and mad. i was staying very behind coz there was a rain of bullets firing in the air and waiting for the chance of shooting people. i got one after a while but the reward was i got aimed shot by more than two more people.

Overall, i got four bruises: in my knee, arm, back and my finger. i felt like my thinking was very silly. i thought i could shoot them down one by one like a main character in an action movie but i just realised that i am not that brave but just very weak as an ant. And i think i would the very first one died if i were a soldier.

i got heaps fun today. it was interesting that i changed what my thinking of this painball game.

"painball is not just paint, but with pain. "   >.<!!

The friendship between P, S, M, A and S makes me think that a real friendship is extremely hard to find or establish.

It seems like the things happened between them, the words they say and the way they think, i have known well like the back of my hand. The reason may because i have seen a lot of events like that when i was studying in the high school in Hong Kong.

The students always say ' Forever Friends' or 'i love you my friends'. I then may ask 'Do u really love your friends?' and 'Would you keep this friendship whatever happens?'. My answer for this is 'No', we would not able to do that, except we have a strong connection between each other.Friendship can be either very strong or weak. it is depending upon what we do, what we think, understand about friends.

 The relationship can be kept when both sides people want. In the other words, the connection between people can be broken if they don't want to keep it anymore. Sometimes, we would ignore our friends because they are being replaced in your life by other things like gender sex friends. I think it is one of the frogs people have to experience before turnning 'Best Friend'.

These words 'Best Friend' has an important meaning that we have to understand each other deeply, show you really care, give a hand willingly whatever happens is harsh. I may missing some factors. These points are what i understand 'Best Friend'.

I am always standing on S's view/situation to feel what she is experiencing. I feel extremely hard if i were her. She is like at the middle of two sides: 'S and P's and 'M and A'. They was very friend with each other as S told me. However, they are separated into two sides because they feel don't like each anymore. Perhaps it is the ago their minds are changing. It is really hard for her to balance both sides...................

When do you able to find ur 'real friends'?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

i think the answer may be that you can find it when u are experiencing sth very harsh and this kind of people would come out and say deep words to encourage u to make u stand up again. Heart, it is the one i like the most in this world. There should have a heart connection between each other, we can have a deep conversation.

IF u have found one, you have to remain it as well as ur important things.

It is almost the end of this day. There are two things i want to write here. The first One is about  my tutor and the second one is about the BBQ meeting tonight.

This morning, i went to Paramatta for tutorial as normal. This time i went so earlier like 9:30 a.m. as i wanted to do some revision before i started my tutorial at 1:00 p.m.    

When i was reading the book, i was almost fall asleep. Suddenly, my mobile was vibrating and i wondered who that was because it said 'Private'. i pressed the green button and said, 'Hello'.

And the person said,' This is the call from Jame's Ann College, just want to tell you that you don't have a English lesson today because your teacher are actually sick.

At that moment i knew taht, i was so happy with it because i can go home earlier and get a rest. In the other side, i think that she is not really sick and staying at home but going

out with her friends instead. i think it is the time to get changes- to the other tutorial.

When i got home, about 1:15 p.m. , i saw most of them were doing preparation for our BBQ meeting tonight. As i know, My uncle Ricky, my father's cousin, and his family will

come to join us tonight. i felt scared with him because he probably would have a talk to me for several hours.                                                                                                              ( Remember one day i went to his house and had a talk with him......  He had talked to me for 3 hours......  =.=!!!  

About 5:00 p.m. , it's time to start our BBQ. i was in a good mood until my uncle R called me by using those name.........    i have never understood why he would like to call me using that name........ when he is happy ??  i don't know ......

Every time he calls me in that name,  i think deeply that people, generally, would not realise that the way or worlds they use would hurt one's heart. They are not able to treat other as they treat themselves, would not able to stand in other one's condition........... most of them would just get the best things for oneself..... 

During BBQ, the adults were teaching me how to think, and i know they think i am just very childish. Actually, i know what to do, how to think.....  i know i am not mature enough in their eyes. They see me in that way perhaps i am always leave out my stuff at home before i go out.  At that moment, i extremely wanted to tell them out loud that i know what to do since i was 14 years old.

My cousins they are very irresponsible, playful, bossy.......    even though they are such a person like that , i still need to be tolerant, patient...... because they are still growing up....

Would i treat them badly ?? i am pretty sure that i would not do that as i think they would be changed by the way i treat them. i believe that life affacts life.....

I need to turn back and to find the real me. Yes..... the real me ..... is very patient, responsible, serious, good-tempered, sincere.