近來情緒的波動影響了我很多

今天連團契也不敢回

每次回到教會大門的一刻 

我也會猜想這星期你會不會突然回來

即使明知沒可能  但我仍然感到恐懼

很怕回到團契裡面想起你的點滴

很怕每星期都也有團友問起你在那裡

很怕團友都拜託要我和你接觸

很怕自己的情緒會影響其他快樂的團友

很怕團友,導師  緊張的擔心我

很怕   很怕

但選擇留在家裡  也不是一味兒

很怕你的xanga再次更新

很怕你離開了我  而遺下的問題

很怕我在網上看見有關你的事

很怕在facebk見到有人點擊了你   卻只看到沒有連結的名字

很怕沒有工作而去想你

很怕自己再次孤獨

很怕  很怕

有誰可以給我一個擁抱    給我一個安慰

暖暖我也好...

Please listen ..

And read the message under lyric

Christina Aguilera - Hurt

Seems like it was yesterday
When I saw your face
You told me how proud you were,
But I walked away
If only I knew what I know today

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you
But I know you won't be there

I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

Some days I feel broke inside
But I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide
'Cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye
When it comes to this

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?

There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes
And see you looking back

 I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself

If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you
Since you've been away
Ooh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself..
By hurting you

好的  想說的都藏在裡面

要聽的  不聽的  你自己選擇

其實我真的很想知道我們為何會變成這樣

是我的性格? 那一次?

還是  你選擇認識我?

即使你看成我是敵也好..

不是我的朋友  也不會是我的敵人

還是忙碌可以令我拋開一切煩擾

自己也樂在其中

p.s.

facebook裡存在著兩個[問號]人呢...

是我選擇錯了  或只是你的偏見?

說過笑話給你們聽聽

從前有一位人兄   封鎖了我的msn,xanga,facebook

但他自稱我倆還是朋友

好笑吧~

笑到我哭了出來

當眼見別人與你實現了我和你從前的夢想

整個心愀了 

但可惜死不了

[為何那個不是我?]的問題已放棄再想

既然天要註定是別人  不是自己  

那我還有甚麼可以怨

只是仍對整件事上耿耿於懷

還記得兩個月前  我們還相議著未來的事

那時說的夢話  我仍記得很清楚

現在當我退出的時候  找回一個人取代我這個位置也是理所當然

但這一刻  還真不太接受到

還是難受得想哭..

我還以為我已放下  看來還要一些時間去適應

說真的  沒有你的日子挺難受

但現在已不是說這些說話的時候

決定了  就必得實行

即使要放棄自己最寶貴的財產

p.s.

早就說不要跟我說他的任何一件事

現在我知道了   開心嗎?

billy  對不起 

你是我第二個最不捨得的

but i must do this

Never Have A Dream Come True - S Club 7

Everybody's got something
They had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday
That just seems to grow with time

There's no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or might have been
All this I know but still I can't find ways
To let you go

Chorus:
I never had a dream come true
Till the day that found you
Even though I pretend that I moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter
Where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you.

Somewhere in my memory
I've lost a sense of time
And tomorrow can never be
Cause yesterday is all that fills my mind


You'll always be the dream
That fills my head
You'll always be the one I know
I'll never forget
It's no use looking back or wondering
Because love is a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and try
I just can't say goodbye