Reading your journal, deep blue stabs into my heart. Whoever suffering kills me casue I want to do something but helpless. Especially someone I love. How things turn out in such way?

 

They only want to give you comfort and cheer you up. But you never care it even flare up. Can you image who you will be without them? You must regret one day. I know there is an invisible wall between us. I never say anything with you which is useless. You cold face hurts me badly. But I still love you and appreciate each smile you gave me. I never mention these when I disappointed at you. At your age, you should know how to tell what is right and wrong. Don’t get mad at them and let them down, I beg you.

 

The world is full of doubt. I know you can go through it. In the drama JIN, Doctor Jin has said, god only gives us the hardness that we can conquer. Believe in yourself and keep moving. I know you can gain the happiness you seeking for now.

 

Outside the window, cold wind blowing, time flowing, what I need is a knife that sharp enough to slice my skin. Covering the whole body, still cold and painful. Trash deservers it like me too weak to live in this planet. I wanna die but scare of death. Like ostrich thinks, burying his head into the sand so that he can keep away from trouble and harm. I am sick and tire of myself, how can I think less and live simply.