I want to die, why don't just let me???????? 

Oh my God, what I have done? Have i done something worng? Why God just punishing me like this? I have got enough in these two months. Why don't 'you' just stop pnishing me, please. If you really hate me that why don't 'you' just let me die. Now i really have to agree someone said before, a car accident, a heart attack, a tumor...........anything, just let me die peacfully.  Why all the bad things comes towards to me?

 
Living in this world is hard, but why death becomes hard, too? I can't living in this world alone, not anymore. I need him to be with me now, right now.......but again, he can't be here........... when all the bad things going to the end?

I want to kill myself (this thought comes stonger than ever), I know i can do it. but the only thing i can't give up is my dogs......... who going to take care of them after i die? I can't let go........... GOd, please....... to take pity on my dogs, give me someting to keep living in this world.

"my dear babes, mummy loves you all forever and ever....... can you guys hear me? Be happy and heathy......... Kiss"