中七既生涯真係唔易捱~~

好想放棄~~

但係又偏偏有一樣野支持住我~~

唔俾我放棄~~

今日返學都仲算係ok啦~~

中化本黎要講文化淺談~~

最後唔洗~~

之後U.E.又要講~~

出左去講~~

唉~~無人知道我講咩~~

算啦~~都好過我既預期嫁啦~~

放左學同Lo嘉落左去淘大搵邦邦一齊high tea~~

high完行左陣商場~~

行完又自己一個走左去做gym~~

開始要減一減做gym既時間啦~~

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黎緊既18歲生日~~

相信唯一特別既只不過會係正日生日果日咁岩大公擺大壽~~

應該都係無咩人會特別同我慶祝嫁啦~~

最想今年生日做果樣野~~

又已經知道做唔到~~

無法啦~~2分鐘之差~~唉...唉...唉...

又N耐無打~~

開左學兩日~~

感覺有d唔慣~~

中七既生活始終造成好大既壓力~~

呢兩日放左學都同Lo嘉一齊走~~

尋日去左食韓燒~~之後去左圖書館~~

今日食完飯之後去左fitness room~~

我要做大隻仔~~哈哈哈......希望啦~~

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呢排同Joan都無乜點溝通~~

可能因為佢太忙啦~~

話到尾佢而家都係一個應屆會考生~~

睇黎我呢個應屆高考生真係好似太過得閒咁啦~~

Orz...Orz...Orz...

諗返起成日俾佢話我無聊~~

其他每次佢咁講~~

我都有句野想同返佢講~~

就係︰「其實我所做既無聊野都係希望你開心~~」~~

呢個一直都係我既心願~~

不過好似一直都無辦法做到咁~~

Orz...Orz...Orz...

呢一個星期相比之前就充實左好多~~

同Lo嘉隔一日就走去做一次gym~

做完覺得自己健康d咁啦~~

尋日同今日都要返學校補geog~~

上geog無左綽綽喺側邊~~

好唔慣~~又令我覺得自己又再孤獨多d~~

-------------------------------------------------------------

喺佢心目中~~

我究竟有無重要性既呢???

我唔夠膽話有幾多位、第幾位~~

但係唔通真係唔重要到咁無地位???

就連隻usb手隻既地位都仲高過我???

或者我呢一個人真係天生會係一事無事嫁啦~~

無論我想做咩~~都唔會做得成~~

Orz.............................................

N耐無打~~

原本想星期三晚打既~~

但係又唔知點解上唔到~~

之後又入左天水圍~~

到今日先返出黎~~

所以今日先打到~~

4-8-2008(星期一、放榜第一日)

舊年既今日~~

對我黎講~~無乜回憶~~

我淨係記得果日同奇哥去左交收~~

果晚訓覺個腦淨係諗住趙太果朝同我講應該讀到中六呢一句~~

所以今日返到去學校都無乜特別野~~

返到去hea左陣~~同文總睇佢retake英文~~

合格~~yeah~~我地唔洗無左個head prefect~~

但係金龍、肥沈&龍哥就唔合格~~

無得繼續做同學~~

之後當值~~

見到好多人都好似拎到心目中理想既分數~~

諗返起自己好似好不濟~~

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5-8-2008(放榜第二日)

今日係第二階段&第三階段~~

諗返起自己舊年都係第三階段收既~~

果日真係幾緊張嫁~~

不過一話收左既時候就鬆哂~~

但係聽到唔收晉彥之後~~

又登佢緊張~~

之後同佢去左慕光同瑪利諾睇左一睇先走~~

今日朝早返到去真係幾悶~~

又喺電腦室睇住個市黎當值~~

下晝就......Orz...Orz...Orz...

肥健今年都係升唔到中六~~

點解???點解???點解???

點解???點解???點解???

點解???點解???點解???

點解???點解???點解???

點解???點解???點解???

點解肥健咁努力都唔得???

點解偏偏完全無得同佢比既我就可以舊年就升到???

點解努力既人偏偏得唔到應得既回報???

點解要我做第一個知道肥健升唔到既人???

聽到佢升唔到之後~~我仲要笑住出去叫佢入黎~~

佢等緊果陣~~我喺電腦室好似想拆樓咁~~

等到阿sir親口同佢講升唔到~~

我攬住左佢~~眼淚就開始黎~~

呢次係我第一次為朋友而喊~~

喺果一刻~~我先真正明白~~

我最重要、最著緊既朋友就係肥健~~

不過同時間cecilia唔知因咩事而喊~~

仲有少少怒火咁添~~

我都係第一次見到佢咁樣~~

最後都唔知咩事~~

-------------------------------------------------------------

6-8-2008(放榜第三日、原第四階段收生日)

打風~~都唔知係好彩定唔好彩~~

好彩既係有得休息下~~

唔好彩既係好悶~~

.......................................

.......................................

.......................................

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7-8-2008(放榜第四日、第四階段收生日)

今日可能係我拒絕人最多既一日~~

唔知同左幾多個好緊張既學生講︰「唔好意思，我地唔會收你」~~

硬係有少少罪惡感~~

忙左成朝~~食完飯返左學校問阿sir拎返d飯錢~~

之後就搭左車入去馬鞍山~~

又係去左佢樓下~~

諗住俾隻usb手指佢~~

話哂佢隻usb手指整爛左~~我要負99.99%既責任~~

喺佢屋企樓下懇求佢左十幾分鐘~~

佢最後都肯落黎~~

佢落到黎拎左隻手指之後~~

就話送我走~~

我話諗住落烏溪沙~~

佢送下送下~~同我走左去行左d晨運徑之類既路~~

期間有幾次我都想同佢講~~

但係都覺得好似唔係好岩feel~~

其實我開頭係諗住到左烏溪沙先講~~

但係最後佢都唔肯去烏溪沙~~

因為佢話屋企部電腦未熄同埋都已經好晏~~

今次任我點懇求都好~~

佢都唔肯~~

所以我呢一次表白行動亦都又再一次徹徹底底咁失敗~~

過左烏溪沙hea左一陣~~

就搭車返屋企~~

果晚MSN同佢講野~~

講到我同佢既距離好似愈黎愈遠~~

Orz...Orz...Orz...

而家就連我同佢唯一既聯繫---果隻手指~~

都已經解決左~~

我同佢可以見到面、傾到計既機會已經可能無哂~~

Orz...Orz...Orz...

-------------------------------------------------------------

8-8-2008

今日同Martin、碧芝、姑姐&麻麻去左Ocean park~~

好耐無去啦~~上一次去真係都好多年前~~

今日真係玩到勁濕~~

最後走左之後入左天水圍~~

-------------------------------------------------------------

11-8-2008

喺天水圍住左兩日~~

個人好似又懶左少少~~

今日返出黎~~

Martin黎左我屋企~~

打機...打機...&打機~~

-------------------------------------------------------------

世界上最遠既距離唔係由南極去到北極~~

亦都唔係由地球去到銀河系既盡頭~~

而係人同人之間既距離~~

對住Joan~~我愈係接近佢~~

我就愈係覺得佢愈黎愈遠~~

遠到幾乎連望都望佢唔到~~

果日同佢行左個幾鐘(應該有掛)左右~~

雖然最後表白行動都失敗~~

但係過程之中我都好開心~~

同佢一齊行~~完全唔洗講野我都已經好開心~~

但係可能做慣聆聽者既我對於佢黎話~~

唔係一個傾到計既人掛~~

所以我地既距離就好似愈黎愈遠咁~~

26號夜晚去左GS既gathering~~

去左angel cafe~~感覺上幾不濟~~

不過唔緊要啦~~

有十幾個GS既同學仔喺度就夠哂啦~~

唯一美中不足既都係佢黎唔到~~

10點鐘左右走人~~

同蓉容、阿樹、阿蟹、阿沈、阿私&Kathy去左影貼紙相~~

諗下諗下~~呢次都係我第四次影~~

可以話次次都係俾人拉去影既~~

不過我又唔係唔鍾意既~~

係無意見咁姐~~

之後又同阿樹兩丁友去左尖咀海傍吹風加吹水~~

阿樹俾左好大既啟示我~~

最後1點幾返到屋企~~

阿爸同阿媽都仲打緊邊鑪~~

見仲有野食~~坐低食埋去~~

27號完全係hea~~

28號就真係seven到無朋友~~

因為有26號晚阿樹既啟示~~

於是我都鼓起左我既勇氣~~

諗住入去馬鞍山~~

正正式式咁同Joan表白返一次~~

點知2點幾入到去~~

打俾佢無人聽~~

自己一個無聊無野做去左烏溪沙碼頭睇人釣魚~~

睇左勁耐~~

等到成5點幾佢先聽我電話~~

之後一路同佢傾電話一路行上佢屋企果頭~~

去到佢屋企樓下~~同佢傾住電話睇日落~~

最後都係叫唔到佢落黎~~

始終我上一次已經講得唔好嫁啦~~

我今次唔想喺電話同佢講咁無誠意~~

不過佢唔肯落都無辦法~~

唯有走人~~

臨上車都有同佢傾左一傾電話~~

佢問我有無唔開心~~

我最後答左佢一句︰「我話無就係呃你既~~」~~

之後就搭多句拜拜就收左線~~

果下真係控制唔到自己~~

真係有d想喊~~

好後悔點解之前講成咁樣~~

返到屋企~~on MSN~~

見到佢on~~

hi左佢之後~~

佢第一句就問我仲有無唔開心~~

其實我返到屋企沖左個凍水涼~~

心情都好返好多~~

見到佢第一次咁關心我既心情~~

我想唔開心都唔得啦~~

但係始終都好似有d............

星期三都係喺屋企hea~~

hea住炒股~~網上虛擬股好好玩~~

今日同Rito去左游早水~~

游完之後去左大快活食野~~

同個婆婆搭枱~~

食完野之後佢同我係咁傾計~~

傾左差唔多半個鐘~~

傾左都好多野~~

由飲飲食食傾到大學~~

又傾到移民~~又傾人生~~

呢個婆婆真係好健談、識好多野~~

佢竟然可幾乎將好多國家重要人物以前讀邊間大學都講哂出黎~~

同佢傾計真係幾開心~~

之後12點40左右走左~~

去左銅鑼灣交收~~

期間不斷玩扭計骰~~

2點幾返到觀塘~~

去左剪髮~~

剪完已經差唔多4點~~

返到屋企又要洗廁所~~

今日真係超攰~~

Orz...Orz...Orz...

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唔會俾自己第時後悔既~~

我一定會好快就同佢面對面咁正正式式咁表白一次~~