今朝返到去先知今日day6~~

聽日仲要當值~~

一返到去~~d人就同我講bio葉搵我~~

佢又無教我~~無啦啦搵我做咩呢???

我果陣仲以為我唔知衰左d咩要俾佢照肺~~

點知~~佢拎左張野出黎~~

原來係「卓越領導才」既野~~

無啦啦話我pass左~~

無奈~~我明明預左唔pass嫁嗎~~

discussion既表現又唔係好好~~

咁都pass???又真係幾天無眼喎~~

唉~~成績呢家野唔好提啦~~

lunch好順利~~無咩事發生~~

中化無啦啦又話唔見左我果篇自由談~~

好無奈囉~~明明擺左喺櫃桶個file裡面~~

無啦啦又會唔見左~~

又要再作過~~

放學去prefect room打左一陣機~~

之後同吳小朋友一齊行返屋企~~

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計返起黎~~

今日已經係第85日啦~~

原來我已經失去左一個知己85日啦~~

呢85日裡面~~

除左喺我打機逃避既時間~~

我幾乎都好煩惱~~

到底點樣可以挽留呢個知己~~

但係...到而家我地兩個已經許朋友都無得做~~

我都唔知可以點解決~~

到底我可以點做~~

每過一日~~我就愈覺得佢離我愈遠~~

好驚N年後喺街撞到佢~~

佢會唔認我呢個「過去式」~~

咁樣真係好恐怖~~

都係唔好再諗咁多~~

因為我覺再諗落去~~

我就會發癲~~算啦~~

「今朝有酒今朝醉~~

  明日愁來明日當~~」

都係「醉」左先啦~~

今日同肥仔去左徒弟仔屋企打機~~

夜晚去左油塘食飯~~

同埋搞阿公d野~~

好無mood~~

由上年3月開始到而家~~

係我接受最多人離開我既一段時間~~

最先係Martin去左U.S.A.讀書~~

跟住同5A一班好兄弟又要各散東西~~

又有幾個fd去左外國讀書~~

然後到無耐之前~~我失去左好多朋友~~

到最近~~仲永遠失去對我一直都好好既外公~~

「痛別離~~惜分飛~~」

人總會各有其道~~

就正如「直線定理」裡面~~

唔會條條曲線都會永遠搭埋一齊~~

離開~~可能係無可奈何既~~

可能係彼此之間已經無法相處~~

面對自己在乎既人既離開~~

每個人都有唔同既方式去面對~~

有人會積極爭取~~期望可以挽回一切~~

但係亦有人會消極咁樣面對~~

甚至會逃避~~希望面對既唔係真實~~只係幻覺~~

而我~~我認為我就係第二種人~~

我永遠都唔想去面對身邊既人既離開~~

我唔想身邊既人離開既理由可能好自私~~

就係我唔想失去同佢地一齊開心既機會~~

唔想以後只可以回憶過去開心既事~~

好多謝曾小朋友既cm~~

我都知你係一個好好既人~~

但係我就唔係一個好人~~

我最唔識講既其中一句野就係「sorry!!!」~~

而且我果一句「sorry!!!」~~

佢已經收左~~

但係...呢一句「sorry!!!」無辦法挽回失去既一切~~

我寧願佢當住所有人面前鬧我~~

我都唔想成為一個「過去式」~~

而家失去左既已經無辦法挽回~~

唯有緊握而家我所有既~~

好好咁珍惜身邊重要既人~~

開始發覺愈黎愈驚失去~~

愈驚失去~~就愈著緊自己覺得重要既野~~

但係愈用力捉緊就愈容易失去~~

愈失去就搞到自己愈驚~~

完全好似墮入左一個無間地獄咁~~

「甚麼都想~~甚麼都怯~~」

經過左尋日既中文oral之後~~

上學期既考試就完左啦~~

成績唔洗估計~~絕對係差無可差啦~~

縱然心有餘...奈何力不足...

Orz...Orz...Orz...

今日又要返去~~淨係為當值~~

話就係咁話~~其實有另一個目的~~kekekeke~~

就係同徒弟仔打機~~唔知點解~~

永遠都係同徒弟仔最合拍~~

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過去式............???

過去總為心所繫...

現在莫待明日醉...

未來勿令今日愁...

做人真係太辛苦啦~~

究竟生存既意義又係咩呢???

享受人生???建基立業???

可能唔同人都會有佢自己既人生意義~~

就我自己黎講~~

我就係同知心既朋友一齊過日子~~

喺無幾耐之前~~

我都可以話係仍然過緊自己想過既生活~~

但係因為我N咁多樣既問題~~

搞到身邊既朋友離開哂我~~

呢一個既舊且新既環境真係令到我唔係好適應~~

到底...係我真係唔岩呢個環境呀???

定係...我真係一個好唔掂既人呢???

講真果句~~我真係唔係好介意作為一個過去式~~

只不過我實在好想將呢個過去式轉做現在式同埋未來式~~

每次見到佢~~我都覺得好內疚~~好後悔我令到自己既朋友討厭我~~

每次見到佢有困難既時候~~我都好想出手幫幫佢~~

但係喺佢眼中~~我係一個過去式~~

我呢條直線唔會再同佢相遇~~

我根本就唔配再喺佢齣戲裡面出現~~

好在過一陣就會有人幫佢~~

每次見到佢開心~~我都會無啦啦開心埋一份~~

同以前一樣~~只不過而家我只可以喺心裡面開心~~

或者佢對身邊既人真係好有感染力~~

喺我眼裡面~~佢已經超越左過去式、現在式、未來式~~

佢已經係支撐我既人生既一條重要支柱~~

無左佢~~我就好似撐唔到落去~~

總之~~無論佢幾唔想見到我~~

只要我一見到佢開心~~

我就會有動力~~去為我自己既未來爭取~~

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以上就我連日黎想講既野~~

我同你已經無再好似以前咁樣講野~~

我亦都知你無乜可能會再黎我呢個Blog度睇~~

但係我都好想同12月27號生日既你講~~

仲有兩句~~

「我盼你一世快樂~~沒憾沒淚痕伴你~~」

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睇我個Blog既朋友~~

你有無對你好好~~而你又對佢好好既朋友呀???

有就要好好咁珍而重之~~

記住唔只你眼前會有你要珍惜既人~~

喺你身後面都有好多值得你去珍惜既人嫁~~

不好只顧自己眼前既人~~

得閒就回首望下身後既人啦~~

記住啦~~

又幾日無打Blog~~

好無mood~~

今日返去考Econ~~

唉~~如無意外都係唔掂嫁啦~~

考完搵一搵潘sir~~

之後同肥健、Lo嘉同埋小堯一齊食飯~~

都係同佢地先可以暢所欲言~~

唔洗就住就住~~

肥健金句︰「D野好似無乜變咁﹗」~~

如果真係可以咩都無變~~

同舊年一樣既話~~

咁呢個世界就真係perfect啦~~

食完都係返屋企~~

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究竟...咩係成熟???咩係幼稚???

由細細個開始~~我每一日都喺度期待快d大個~~

快d成為一個「成年人」~~

但係到左而家~~雖然未成年~~

不過都差唔多~~

作為一個「成年人」~~

一定要有成熟既思維~~

但係由我細個到而家~~

我都仍然俾人話我唔夠成熟、太過幼稚~~

細個果陣我就鍾意喊~~

到左而家我就鍾意逃避~~

避唔到就會亂咁發脾氣~~

的確好幼稚~~ 

由舊年到而家~~

我都因為身邊一d人對我既教誨~~

而開始學習點做一個成熟既人~~

但係到左而家我發覺做一個成熟既人係極度辛苦~~

唔可以將自己真正既心意隨時表露出黎~~

呢樣就係我覺得最辛苦既事~~

如果一定要咁樣先叫成熟~~我寧願一世都俾人話我幼稚~~

今日返去考英文~~

好無信心~~好無mood~~

listening都係聽到寫唔到~~

writing就ok啦~~不過都仲係唔夠時間、唔夠字數~~

放左之後搵埋徒弟仔~~

同趙太講左兩句野就走人~~

同徒弟仔行左過淘大~~

食吉仔~~同徒弟仔打MH~~

打到4點幾~~又行返過KT先搭車~~

返到屋企~~阿哥買左隻Ghost Squad返黎~~

打~~打~~打~~好正~~

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