今日係燒賣既生日~~
祝你生日大快樂呀~~
今日對我黎講~~
可以話係唔係幾開心既一日~~
但係同時又係俾機會我去振作既一日~~
首先返到去~~
又再次感受到做head pre既壓力~~
never mind~~就係有壓力先更加要撐落去~~
朝早上堂ok啦~~
中史就訓左半堂~~
阿豪、瀟洒、阿yen~~真係好對唔住呀~~
我喺你地report緊果陣訓~~
之後U.E.上左一堂法文~~好好玩~~
然後兩堂中化~~聽短講~~
又有d想訓~~
今日又講到情緒問題~~
近期好似好多同情緒有關既野出現~~
係唔係要同我講快d改好自己d脾氣呢???
下晝上geog先知點解星期六、日可以咁得閒~~
原來我又唔記得做essay~~
放左學~~搞埋prefect d野就嗱嗱聲返屋企~~
做essay~~但係做做下又諗起中史又要寫野~~
真係死得啦~~都唔知做得邊樣~~
最後因為太煩~~索性兩樣都唔做~~
去沖涼~~一間先做~~
最後都係揀左essay先~~
但係寫黎寫去都係寫得好少~~
聽日都唔知點交俾阿sir~~
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今日...仲未得到佢既寬恕~~
每次望見佢~~只可以見到佢狠狠咁擰側個頭~~
每次同佢「擦身而過」~~
都仍然感受到果股強烈既憤怒~~
有時我甚至覺得佢已經敵視緊我~~
有時我寧願未曾同佢相知過~~
咁樣或者唔會有今日~~
咁樣最起碼我地兩個都應該會開心d~~
我發覺自己已經墮入左一個惡性循環裡面~~
佢對我既憎恨~~令我更加覺得自己更加對佢唔住~~
令我更加自責~~點解我會做d咁既野???
同時~~我愈自責~~就愈唔夠膽面對佢~~
咁樣落去~~我好驚有一日我會頂唔住~~
之前同人傾計果陣講過︰「激嬲一個人好辛苦~~」~~
果個人就話︰「激嬲一個你在乎既人就係~~」~~
聽完~~自己不停係度諗~~
我究竟係咪好在乎佢呢???
今日暫時得到一個答案︰係~~
以前佢得閒都會黎睇下我個Blog~~
不過我諗佢以後都唔會再黎睇~~
但係我都好想同佢講一d野︰
「係~~我係好在乎你~~我好在乎我地之間既關係~~
我唔係在乎我地既關係係咩關係~~
而我最在乎既係你俾到我果段可以暢所欲言既時光~~
講真~~果段時間~~我真係好開心~~
心情無時無刻都好舒暢~~
就算某d方面受到打擊~~
同你傾完計之後都可以拋諸腦後~~
所以我好驚你以後都唔理我~~
我都知我所犯下既過錯~~
唔係短時間內可以令你原諒我~~
但係我唔會放棄~~
我諗終有一日~~我會夠膽面對你~~
好好咁面對面咁向你正正式式咁道歉~~
希望呢一日可以快d到~~
希望唔洗到『明年今日』先做到啦~~」 |