yay new phone.. super happy..!! hehe

isn't it funny? i read something and it makes me feel touching.. be honest i lost track of how long i haven't feeling heart touching and being really happy by just reading..you make my heart start to beat again.. wow i really can't believe it..how much you made me smile..!!

p.s. i would never image how much did i ever influences you?

p.p.s. i wonder if you did it for me.. *shrugg the shoulder**

YES.. getting a new phone for chinese new year.. i might change number but who knows.. ?? i'm happy...!!! hehehe i want a number like 98447312 haha good numbers...!!!

well... really tired.. needs a lot of sleeps

this morning i woke up from a drema of mike jakala and his friends going to disney land and i saw him.. so i call him a fucking asshole.. and then i saw annie and everything else.. then we went on the rides at epcot.. it was fun but with mike jakala in my dream sucks really bad and the more i see him the more i'm upset i dont quite understand y is he still bugging me and is so annoying...i really hate him for ruining my life and ruining everything else he is the biggest asshole i had ever seen in life.. and sometimes.. if i knew dating would kills friendship i wish i never dated him...

then when i woke up i saw you sms me and unfounately i got yelled at by you.. whoa.. you isaac chau yelling at people first time in life time seeing.. and seriously is not that i don't want to be friends.. but you're right.. i'm afraid to trust after experiencing a breaking heart from a boy and being isolated in class and eing treated as nothing.. how can i do more.. what can i do..nothing but to living in my own world idk.. what to do.. i don't understand life.. and i'm so sorry i had a big influences on you.. please give me some times.. i just very afraid of getting close with anyone.. and with you as being a new friend... i need sometimes to tell myself not to be afraid..

talking to an old friend that i haven't talk to for a long time..and suddenly i realized talking to him is like talking to my past.. and we're friends.. but mike and i are not.. so i think dating kills friendship this sucks..if i knew i lost mike as a friend.. i would never never dated him or even be his gf...!! *sigh* but i still despite him for being weak for letting us go for being a liar for being a cheater for being a unbelieveable person..

as i was laying on the sofa today i though of you, like wow we haven't seen each other for almost two week.... i guess you can say i miss us hanging out !!! i wonder what have you been up to.. and wow.. i miss smsing you.. but the decision i had made will not change..!! and for now, i just need to not be so close with you cause i'm really afraid of liking you and then at the end i be heart breaking, so before i know what i can do with my emotions.. please let me think.. for a little bit.... a little bit.. i meant whenever i'm comfortable again.. i mean i'm comfortable being around you.. but i'm afraid.. and it seems as you can't open my heart.. so i don't know let god decide..

so lazy just sleep and eat and watch TV and computer...*sigh* reading and reading

as i was reading something, and suddenly it felt as the writer was talking directly into my mind, i wonder has anyone ever tried this.. this sounds crazy but is true.. when you use the heart to listen to other's feeling, you can feel the writer is talking to you in the mind, and even sometimes feel he or her's emotions of being sad or happy or anything thing.. wow.. reading and writing are partners...

tim哥哥: 總有D嘢值得你下次再去愛過第二個好男仔碼!!今次只不過是他不珍惜你

ME: 都話他走bo囉!!!

tim哥哥: 你現在發展自已多D興趣,建立多D良好品性,正面思維,好快您便有第二春啦!!

ME: 5啦我既第二春係會計Y我會俾晒我既時間他Y

tim哥哥: Good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!好正面!!!!!!!!所以我讚你,好努力,好上進,咯!!!>3<!

haha tim哥哥 is my new role model to looks forward to.. he is my brother..!!!

there's times you asked me why am i behaving in this strange acting? the reason is i'm afraid of being so close toward someone and at the end i be hurt really bad.. and this isn't what i want for getting so close with someone.. i learned that i had become very afraid to trust people around..i'm very scare.. but the mainly reason is i'm afraid i will like you, but then at the end you be breaking me apart just as he broke me apart!! so i don't know but.. i will late fate find me instead of me finding it..

其實失戀可以是一種正面力量,有助生命成熟向前!!~~ tim哥哥

spencer's birthday yay!! happy birthday.. bud... wish you're birthday is good.. i miss you.. and yes i'm getting old as my young brother is getting old too hehe ^^

拍拖!失戀!是人生的階段!無嘗過苦又點知甜的甘美呢!! ~~~ tim 哥哥

holy crap.. i was almost late to my internship today because mom and i found the wrong building and oh my.. we were nervous and i was running with my high heals.. hehe.. i'm a little funny girl anyway.. this is crazy.. and internship today i learned a lot and it was fun and it makes me really tired...

after work, i went to the biggest store in megabox and is big trust me i didn't wnat to leave but i had to.. sigh... anyway.. still not well with friends.. hope we can be friends again.. sometimes i think ppl think too much and make things more differcult.. and i do not like that.. what i like is life is simple.. and that's my metto..

well... really tired...!!!

i called you today, but i guess you're tired from working as well.. i wonder if you're used toward your job.. working one week 6 days... i wish you the bestest luck especially having jobs to forget the nightmare you had before.. call me if you need to talk to me, kenneth!! ok?

internship tomorrow at hang seng bank.. quite nervous.. hope i can do better.. and wow the dream i had today was def weird and wow.. can't believe it..really really nervous.. blah.. just want to sleep!!!

i didn't called you on purpose but indeed i press wrong button once again your number is fast speed dial on my phone.. and *sigh* anyway.. internship should be fun i think...

hey, i calle dyou today finding out you have to work at mei foo.. wow you sounds grumpy.. perhaps work is too much for you.. call me if you need someone to talk with.. and working is good for you to have no time to think of the sad past...

童話    fairytale

光良

忘了有多久　再沒聽到你
     對我說你最愛的故事
     我想了很久　我開始慌了
     是不是我又做錯了甚麼

   ＊你哭著對我說　童話裡都是騙人的
     我不可能是你的王子
     也許你不會懂　從你說愛我以後
     我的天空星星都亮了

   ＃我願〔要〕〔會〕變成童話裡
     你愛的那個天使
     張開雙手　變成翅膀守護你
     你要相信　相信我們會像童話故事裡
     幸福和快樂是結局

Forgot how long it has been, never hear you

Telling me your favorite story

I think a long time, and i started to worry

Did i do something wrong again

You cried and said to me, fairytales are just lies

i would never be your prince

perhaps you don't understand, since the day you told me you love me

my sky had brighten up

I will become the fairytale

The angel that you're in love with

Open my arms became wings to protect you

You must believe in between us

Happiness and Fortune Will be our happy ending

this morning my mom woke me up at 8 o'clock in the morning.. oh my god.. it was really cold and i don't like it!! but then i had to get up unwantly... so then i go with her to hao dao (my brother's high school) then we were doing chinese writing wow.. is really hard and i can't believe how much you have to do good at your waist... anyway that was fun and at least i know when to do hard and when to do soft..

and then when i was having lunch you sms me.. and it suddenly makes me shock that you were thinking of me when you going to book city, but i didn't reply you!!!

when there is silent moment, i think of how you're similar toward mike, because you broke his heart, just like he broke my heart.. and so i'm very afraid to be liking you or even having that further steps because i'm scare that i'll be ending up heart broken again.. do you know how long it took me to be somewhat ok from standing back up.. is really hard.. and i'm just afraid of heart breaking and mostly i'm too afraid to be liking someone again especailly you're someone that broke his heart just as i got heart broken.. you is mike and him is me.. him and me got left behind and got heart broen and to afraid of liking someone.. and i don't think there's any posisble of me able to liking someone is so hard when no guarantees.. nothing can guarantee.. and i had learned that when words are words but once a promise is break nothing can fix it.. no matter what.. and i'm not trying to blame you... but right now i really don't think i can be liking you i'm too afraid you will left me behind just as you left me behind.. so right now i'm just walking alone with my shadow at least i know it will back me up and catch me when i fall really hard..

perhaps times can change but right now i don't see myself can be liking you, nothing more but just a friend.. i'm a weaker you can say, but all i'm doing is to protect myself fro breaking hearts, because you have no promises that my heart won't be broken.. no prove, no evident, nothing to make me feel ok to like you, when i know is not ok to like you..

time will make everything better.. and i know for real..!!

Don't Say You Love Me - M2M

Got introduced to you by a friend
You were cute and all that
Baby, you set the trend
Yes, you did, oh
The next thing I know, we're down at the cinema
We're sittin' there, you said you love me
What's that about?

You're movin' too fast; I don't understand you
I'm not ready yet
Baby, I can't pretend
No, I can't
The best I can do is tell you to talk to me
It's possible, eventual
Love will find a way
(Love will find a way)

[Chorus:]
Don't say you love me
You don't even know me
If you really want me
Then give me some time
Don't go there, baby
Not before I'm ready
Don't say your heart's in a hurry
It's not like we're gonna get married
Give me, give me some time

Here's how I play, here's where you stand
Here's what to prove
To get any further than where it's been
I'll make it clear; not gonna tell you twice
Take it slow; you keep pushing me
You're pushing me away
(Pushing me away)

[Repeat chorus]

(Oh, oh, oh)
Na, na, na-na, na, na na
Na, na, na-na, na, na na
(Oh, oh, oh)
Na, na, na-na, na, na na
Na, na, na-na, na, na na

Don't say you love me
You don't even know me, baby

(Baby, don't say you love me)
Don't say you love me
You don't even know me
(Hey, baby)
If you really want me
Then give me some time
(Give me some time)

this morning i woke up from a dream of seeing mike jakala it seems pretty weird.. and i didn't like it much but then...

i talk to you, klb and you cheer me up and i love talking to you, o klb i wish i could have your hugs for me and tell me everything be ok.. cause you always got me to be fine when i need the support thanks so much i love you <3

wow guess i had always been wrong about you reading my online diary but who is reading it why can't i figured it out..

i'm not so happy.. but i know i will be fine.. wish i can have someone to lean on...

******Chapter 1******

                            I shall begin my story by introducing myself, my name is Rosy, i'm almost 18, but i must say this was an interesting way for me to meet him. It was a rainny day, that morning i woke up from my computer desk because i had an essay needs to be handed in the next day, so what i did was staying up the whole night to finished it. *sigh* i'm a procrastinator, this is my character that will never changed. As the printer is printing my essay, i tried to get dress and stuff everything into my bags to get ready for school. As i was rushing out the door, i ran to the train station, and accidentally bumped into him. As the rain was falling on me, he helped me to get me and make sure i was alright. The way he smiled, it makes me felt as the time had just stop for me, but unforunately, i woke up from my illusion when he shook to asked if i was alright. I apologized as soon as possible, and get back on my feet to school. Damn he was handsome.. so this is my rush morning, but wasn't too bad accidentally bumping into him.

                           As i get to school, my best friend, K.B. was telling me how there will be a new guy as a new classmate. But i didn't pay much attention because i was worrying about my essay that is due today. But one of the girl, she is the leader of the class, it freaks me out how she is a leader and have tons of girls will follow her way of life, like being skinney and trying to dress as sluts. I'm starting not to understand how can people changed themselves into someone they're not. As soon as the teacher entered in the classroom, I get ready fo class.

this morning i sent annie away and man i miss her.. i though i was almost gonna cry but luckly i didn't *phew* then my second uncle bring me to prime view... so then i have to right light rail to go home but then when i was going to take a nap... Isaac called me and said hey let's have lunch together, so i had to dragged my tire body to go see Isaac and have lunch with him.. then as i was going through the cross-walk i saw him.. like not sure which ways to go..haha but then i sms him and said i saw him.. then as i was getting money out from my bank, he walked right passed me.. haha isn't that funny..?? silly Isaac then we went to play badminton, wow.. haha good time.. remember i hit you with the ball in the head. haha that was funny...  then i have to buy.. dinner ingredients.. and i cooked tonight.. but it came out so bad.. and phil still finished my food. i was so touching... thanks phil, you're the best... from now on i think i will write a story, cause i want to be a writer.. and i wonder if i have that potential to be one..

******Chapter 1******

                            I shall begin my story by introducing myself, my name is Rosy, i'm almost 18, but i must say this was an interesting way for me to meet him. It was a rainny day, that morning i woke up from my computer desk because i had an essay needs to be handed in the next day, so what i did was staying up the whole night to finished it. *sigh* i'm a procrastinator, this is my character that will never changed. As the printer is printing my essay, i tried to get dress and stuff everything into my bags to get ready for school. As i was rushing out the door, i ran to the train station, and accidentally bumped into him. As the rain was falling on me, he helped me to get me and make sure i was alright. The way he smiled, it makes me felt as the time had just stop for me, but unforunately, i woke up from my illusion when he shook to asked if i was alright. I apologized as soon as possible, and get back on my feet to school.

account test was no good.. and i want to die... and  then i called you.. and then i said ok died hahaha you make me smile and it makes me happy =)

i asked isaac to go bowling with me and then suddenly a339a appeared.. holy shit.. it makes my heart pump so fast just as when a39a was checking out the picture of mike kissed my forhead... o boy.. i can't believe how fast i was pumping it was riduciolus... =( but then i was very upset and i'm sorry i made isaac very upset with me as well... sorry and i'm very sorry... i hope you forgive me... and seriously i didn't mean to make you sad.. but i just really happy seeing you.. you make me really happy... =) thank you so much

haha today when i see your facebook message it makes me chuckle of wow you're having a sucky life and it suddenly makes me laugh really hard.. sprry for black heart but is your lost for letting a wonderful girl go...anyway...

i'm really happy that you say you want to steal my heart... haha instead of stealing of my TV o my laptop.. but my heart.. you're funny but sometimes you need to know how to show who you truly are.. instead of hiding you know what i mean.. be brave and have courage..!!!

hoping to see you soon...=]

this morning i went to the school for my eco testing, don't think i did too good. but anyway.. it was fun seeing you at tai wai haha i though you will be jealous but i'm very proud of you for speaking toward my friend, Mr. Wong! I'm glad you didn't need me to talk for you... you impress me...!! and then today thank you for walking around with me a lot today.. you make me smile =) and then.. for my grandma i only want to be her social worker =P haha ^^ thanks for snack at hui lau san.. it was amazingly  good...but then you tricked me at light rail.. i though you were gone but then you shows up behind me.. do you know i'm really afraid of liking you? but what else can i do? too confuse and too scare of being heart broken.. definitly trying to find a guy that could give me confident that won't hurt me and break me into different pieces... so i don't think i will date for a little while till maybe later on, who knows?

well... no bowling today perhaps sunday again =)

Today is January 1st, I went to the science museum with Annie, Phil and Isaac.. it was a lot of fun!!!

when i look at you, i oculdn't help but to smile.. i can't believe how much you make me smile.. my new year wish is to make you talk more.. =) and not so shy...!!!

i like it a lot when you look at me and just smile... sorry i was really crazy.. but i think i make you laugh is funny too...

haha i love annie and phill..

thanks for worrying for me..i'm glad i have you..!!

when i was at macau, i kept thinking of you.. but when  i arrive in h.k. i hear b.s. from you that makes me upset and i knew exactly what i will say to you but now i think i will hold it off for at least a little bit and... see you.. nite nite too tired... annie is raping me =P love her

this morning my smal aunt asked me about mike and me but all i could tell her was that we're over because he only wants to be friends with me and how he actually is falling in love with another girl.. oh well.. guys are liars that's why i don't really trust mike no more.. cause in my eyes he is just a liar and a jerk.. actually be honest he is the biggest jerk i ever seen.. and i grow to be stronger without you learning that i don't need you to be happy..and i'm very happy that my life is without you.. and it feels amazing.. as my small aunt says is his lost and no need to worry for us because we belong in kwok family.. hehe 5駛驚嫁5出!!!

then my two best friend, kenneth and isaac *sigh* i really don't care but i really care for them.. and all i want them is to be happy and everything else, 我只想你地開心5好5開心只想你地笑!!

我好似又再心碎,我5知點再對你!!!我5想你再5開心又或做我地既中間人見你好擔心令我好5開心我真係想你開心快樂因為你個名正是這個意思!! 我希望你係follow你個heart!!!

表妹話你好可愛哈哈!!!龜仔都有人話可愛,不過你都好可愛既!!!

Wow Cuzin's wedding.. it was amazingly fun but i kept thinking about you and wanting to sms you,... but you make me not happy haha 不停地寸我囉O左嘴!! wedding was really fun and i must say damn i look pretty cute >3< haha i'm very silly... i love wedding and i love my family and cousins...!!

is lyss's birthday and i wish her a happy birthday...

i hate you for all your lies and i hate you for changing and leaving me behind but no matter how much i hate you memories between us are only the past is not something i will looks forward happeneing all over again especially when you're the jerk.. i don't know you and i'm kinda glad i don't know the new you but instead i like the old you... but the old you is never going to happens again because the new you has taken over the old you.. and old you i'm sorry that he have to say good bye to let you go cause the old you was amazingly perfect...

now this is all just a dream that is not the happening in real life...

today going to work i almost used up half of a box of tissues.. man i'm really sick and i can't believe this and everything else is kinda crazy i wasn't sneezing but i have a horrible running nose that would never shut off and everything else so i cough whenever i laughed too hard and sunny sir is too funny he makes me chuckle seriously he is the best math tutor i know he is just like my brother, i was coughing much, but some students gave me cards and gift kinda makes me so sweet nearly make me fainted, and it makes me so happy when i meant something in the kids heart and it makes me super happy that they taunted me because i'm coughing and they seduces telling me how good is the candies or chocolate... haha i really love kids, but what can i say, they're angel from above heaven.

after work, i played basketball with the five guys, sunny sir, judi, karl, sky, and bill gates? haha all are students except for sunny sir.. we def have so much fun at basketball while buring calories and makes me sick even more after laughing so hard.... haha i love those boys they're so funny whenever i see karl and bill gate, these two kids are a pair they can make jokes even if is just on a little things...they're silly boys.. and they can somehow finished one and other's sentences.. which makes it funnier..

so after basketball i saw the law's family, it was fun meeting kenneth's family... and we had dinner and we went over toward theird house for exchanging christmas present in order for us to pick what we want we must play rock paper scissor shot (it was my mom's idea) def can tell why we're doing it? =P haha i love her so mrs.law got me a bag for christmas thanks.. it is beautiful although i have so many and now adding more to it... hehe i love how i can have many bags to match my clothes..hehe

then kenneth and i talked quite a bit while i was in his room playing computer games and reserve if i do have turtles as pets, what should i do?  well then tonight i really feel as i got to know him better and seriously, i felt i reached his inner world for the moment, but however he is just a friend, he's not the kind i will fa ill for or even liking because he is just a brother, an older brother...it is kinda riduciclous of something he told me but i don't is possibly to be true.. my mind is lost and confuss but i try my best to calm it.. i don't understand but i believe i will find a way...

today i'm really sick, my voice was cracking and not my normal voice and def can't speak for shits and holy crap my voice is pretty bad i had never been this fucking sick for the past 7 years and now i'm damn it...lucky not kissing no one or else be getting them sick i think i got mom sick cause i hugs her too much =P haha oops my bad...

as i was taking a bath in the frigging midnite, i though of what kenneth said to me about you, you know? i though of how you left me and then i hear things differently, is that true i can't believe what i see but believes how i feel, but how can i trust u more, is all perhaps a lie, idk what to do, but as i was bathing i tho of how i don't wnat a family no more, no marriage, and mostly if i want kids, i will do adoptions, i really don't think is possible to get married and have a happy life after all, why because you're the one that brokes it and i don't care no more... 

nite!!!

wow i'm sick i had never been sick in n.y. for 7 years and coming back to h.k. i'm sick i can't believe it this sounds a bit crazy... not feeling good