feels like a fairytale and i hope thigs doesn't rush and let it take time 隨緣啦

今日好早就出左去接我d 朋友去東涌唸住踏單車點知3位大少爺話好晒丫又5想中暑(因為榮少聽日返美國讀大二，同埋森少同ET要返廣洲所以費事害死佢地啦) 跟住咪去左影相又去左東薈城，班男仔係度話要追女仔一定要花言巧語，真係吹漲!!! 例如一個女仔問我今日有咩5同?個男仔一定要話: E 令左wo!!! 令到我give them evil glare!!!! hahahaha they feel somewhat feared... 

好開心因為我係森哥森嫂榮哥榮嫂ET哥ET嫂既小朋友既乾媽!!!勁鐘意小朋友囉!!!

something happened today... but i will write in my diary... hehehehe

都5知你唸咩!?!?!?好似係又5似5係又冇answer又冇response 姐係點丫?所以話啦!!其實男仔係煩過女仔..... 都5知想點??真係吹漲!!D 男仔領悟能力真係差難道要畫公仔畫埋D腸?!?!?! 真係5明丫!!!

好累丫好想sleep

mr. pig doesn't understand anything... even i told you and then you don't give me an answer or an responses... so that somewhat confuse me a lot gurrr.... not cool...i wonder if you really get it But i don't think so *sigh*

i don't know what's your reaction... so confuse and *sigh*

我今日搭輕鐵個陣向wndow 一望我見到一D草馬上令我唸起怕羞草(我最鐘意既植物)我唸起小時個陣一見到怕羞草我就會好開心咁touch 一下它就會好怕羞地收起來!!我今日唸起我地好多人都已經迷失左自我，其實小朋友好容易就好開心，但係點解大大下就5識得因小小事會開心呢?所以請求各位朋友要記得令佢地開心過既事情並不要令件開心事係回憶中失去了。

小朋友真係好可愛好識得令到父母好開心，細佬仔好yeah丫!!

seeing my friend from long time ago and then i realized we had grew up from a kid, two boys look amazingly handsome and they're not boys anymore, they're a fully grown man and seeing them I knew it has been a long time and things has changed among us, which made us all more mature, and our behaviors are like adults like to sit down and talk about own thing it was funny when we were talking about if all the boys have gf but they didn't ask me and is so sad that i'm so short and every one used me as a hand set... damn!!! >3<

i asked you the question... darn i hhope you dont think i'm just joking.. going out be abck way later tonight

19 more days......

I was thinking how should I tell you the truth... I don't know If i'm right or not... and I'm very afraid if I had misunderstanding you.... I will find a chance to let you know... i'm very afraid it will harm both of us...

god please give me some advices... I'm not sure what I can do... Do I not trust enough? Am I still trappd from the past of afriad of liking someone and falling for them.... I don't know.... *sigh*

God give me strength and courage

I can remember my dreams like phillip and i are running away from home and we continueously trying to sneak back home an everything else to get my prroperty it was so weird and you were letting me staying over at your house... it was very nice of you...

It was so weird this morning when i was working... whenever i did something you came up in my mind, like i almost ran into a pole and a wall and it was really awkward... like i was thinking if i was dating you that would be good for a moment i was thinking about it and smile and laugh about it :P at one time of the moment i though i would be so brave and asked you the question but i didn't know it i think i'm waiting for a good time for it :)

i'm finally not mad at you anymore, which is good i didn't think i would be very upset at you for a very long time? no need to be mad anymore... but this is well enough...

個傻豬小朋友為左我拎晒人地seven 個D飲管丫，咁人地用咩好丫? 你個傻豬丫?傻下傻下咁不過又傻得幾可愛丫!!為左我拎晒D飲管，人地seven 真係多得你5少丫!!你每次去人地要再order!!不過為左你我會好努力摺星啦!!! (傻笑中) 5好再囉啦否則你D仔仔女女冇得摺星啦!!!做丫爸要照顧D仔女架嗎!! 

20 more days....

this morning i went to school to get my report card... so many people get more than 3.5 for gpa wow it amazed me !!!  So when I get my reported card I wasn't dare to look at the report card i was so afriad I did worst, but this semester I did better and hahaha I beat mr. Ng on English with Dr.A giving out class A(s) or B+(s) It was very great and very funny !!! Yeah yeah!!! Honestly I do not think is a real grade indeed i think Dr. A is afraid of getting yelled at so this is a fake grade

Then we 8 morons walked to city one for lunch hahaha it was fun when the girls walk really fast and the boys are so slow (slowpoke) But it was funny when we were walking you notices the big star earrings and I don't think you really saw the me wearing your earrings... see boys does not have awareness

After lunch, we were walking to the bus station and the boys were acting as a good kids and following the traffic light's rule (wow) such fakers....  扮野最叻

Then as we were on the bus, I was trying to teach Mr. Ng to use T9 but honestly he is too stupid  But I will not give up teaching you this is my goal  

As we arrived at KT, we had to walk a long way to get to the badminton field.. i must say it is veyr unique with the wall blocking and the area is under the hose estate so is not so sunny yet the walls were made to created to let the wind blow in, it is a very unique places.... and then we went to Ok and get drinks(I love how i can't make decision).. you're very silly taking every drinks and wouldn't want me to hold drinks... then we walked around to look for badminton balls and the badminton net... wow you walk too fast (don't make up the excuses of you long leg and mine is short that is the worst excuse ever)

But seeing you doing so well in badminton really amazes me like wow i never expected you to be this good it somewhat shocks me...I love being in the same team with you it makes me feel like you can read my mind which is very good!!!

An hour later, Danny's gf(Claudia) arrived she wasn't what i expected like I didn't expected her to be so tiny like my size so i guess what i expected came off wrong  But anyway she is pretty and nice according to the boys hahahaha and i must admit she is too!!!

I love walking away with you but you were like soaking wet and your sweats **blah** But you make me chuckle... I like getting my self wet in the bathroom with water after is too hot and the hotness can't releases... the cool water felt really great

Then after badminton I love sharing my noodles with you and it was very spicy... but at least we shared something in common  But after Danny ate and you three tricks me what the heck so i didn't se eyou three as i walked out the bathroom not nice ....

After when you were gone, something had happened, it kinda makes me feel so embaress and mad and frustrated and confuse and (this part will be in the hand written diary) Sometimes I do not understand boys' behavior like sometimes is acting more than justa  friend and this is confusing me I really don't understand like what the hell are you doing? When I told you about the earrings you went silent, and sad, what the hell was that? I don't frigging understand... philsopher said women say one thing but thinking totally different things and i think this theory can also apply in men as well..... I don't understand why ar eyou acting so abnormal and a little bit of liking me but I really don't understand.... 

When I was online, I asked you if you notice I wore the earrings, You said you noticed when you were at school... i don't know if this is a truth or not usually boys are not so easy to observe  usually they're stupid but i guess you're not one of them.... someone said to me today" O when he sees you wear it, he prolly super sweet to the point of dying" I wonder is that how you felt today when you saw me wearing it..!! I wish I can put it on my first hole instead of second (but you knew why i put it on second, and maybe someday I will put it on first)  Thanks for today and for everything you did for me and taking care of me and make sure i left nothing behind

Heart flew away just to be with you

21 more days... can't sleep perhaps report card is tomorrow quite nervous!! can't sleep and keep thinking and keep thinking *sigh*

i'm glad you're around for me good thing you're there for me and willing to cheer me up... thanks.. mr. ng

你講過架 : "錯過左就冇有了" 咁點解你咁5珍惜身體同自己，願意成為酒精既奴隸丫? 你令我太失望啦咁5珍惜自己，飲酒5係問題，但係而家你俾我既感覺係你願意俾酒麻醉自己!!寧願逃避都5面對事實!! 你咁樣子對自己身為你既好朋友係勁心痛知你有野煩但係幫5到你，我覺得自己身為好朋友都冇咩用!! ( I don't understand why you rather pick the easy way out than finding solution to the problems. ) 借酒澆愁，D愁咪仲係度? 心痛見到你因為煩惱令到你咁5開心，好失望!!我唸我唯一5會咁5開心就係5理你啦由得你啦 (唉!!都5知點解為左你咁小事可以令到我整天不開心又擔心，算啦!嬲來都係冇用因為你寧願擇飲酒可以令自己冇咁5開心，折磨自己沈沒在飲酒既世界，perhaps i was born to protect all my friends and giving out the whole heart to protect and care for them even I know I wouldn't get anything return... Honestly I don't expect anything in return, but all i asked for was to take care of own self and be healthy was this so hard to do?) SO my decision has made was not caring anything more about you, so then i wouldn't be so hurt and disappointed...我5開心態你一定會哄我但係今次對你真係好失望丫!!

你個傻佬今朝冇啦啦向我發脾氣，我唸我要唸過樣新野來激你啦!!5好5記得枝真花丫!!! :P

everything tonight should be ended, saying i will not care.. am i really that heartness?

the boys went out for drinks and their actions and behaviors seems like completely different... something seems to be happened and made them act so awkwardly... which is quite weird... both of them acts coldly and awakwrdly and not willing to talk more! Which is very awkward... For what angel said last night, it made me super happy, but i don't think it will come true... as i don't think it will and i'm mostly right!!  you say girls are difficult to understand but boys are even worst...*sigh* so tired...

boys drinking and ending up having headaches... sometimes i don't understand does beer really help to relief al the troubles... *sigh* hand-writing diary

same question asking two boys : two gives me different answers; I asked Do I have to wait for you to come home? One said Sure I'm more than happy seeing you waiting for me, and another one said No just sleep when you feel tired... so you see two different boys have two different answers...  Something that Angel can see it with me is one is independent and one is dependable, and one is more manly and one is more like a kid. This is quite funny when she can observed what I can see as well...

Then I asked her about why do people cherish after they lose the things? She said because people don't seems to care when the thing is around but onces is gone and felt the importances...

after watching 830 show, i got a lot of advices veyr good advices and make me feel stronger of what to do and how to do!!!

i only pick out some not the whole article

情趣男 === 只要能動腦筋的玩意

其實，情趣男不必分有錢或窮，通常來說，香港的男人愈有錢愈缺乏情趣，千篇一律的燭光晚餐和禮物，暴露了他們對女伴不願思考的態度  :   而窮光蛋有成功人士所缺的閒暇，不必分秒為財富作奴隸，為功名出賣時間，相反能夠有心思地討女人歡心。

簡而言之，男人肯為你做一些無無謂謂的事，願意為你花一些不必花的時間，這個傻佬就是你的真命天子，不論貧富，都應該給他一個機會。

this is makes me think that is so hard to find in the society that someone is willing to do things for you and willing to make you happy and seems like we had forgot **Simple is happy** (簡單是福) now a day people don't know how to thankful for things they have but still want more materialism (saying about woman) 知足常樂 and then it will bring a lot of happiness!!

23 more days

i think i will write this blog in chinese... (so i can practices my typing)

我有時不太明白點解人要失去左先會珍惜何不有個陣就珍惜呢? 人要經歷過失去才會知道那樣東西對你有幾重要，冇左就心不在然，有個陣總係覺得定仲有機會，結果係當機會一走了，就5會再有第二次。人係知道這個道理架，但係一定要經歷過先記得有這個道理。機會係靠自己爭取，天或人會俾機會你，但係決定權係係你度，因為你可以話事!! 人一失去就後悔點解當初5敢於嘗試?當初5敢表達自己既心情? 但後悔都冇用唯有積極向前，可能機會會不捨得你會再找番你，但係今次又會不會又放手又以為又有下一次機會?人生有幾多個十年可以俾冇限既機會俾番你?? 機會俾番你並5係上天俾你，而係想你明白由有變冇，跟住又由冇變番有既心情，係想你記得個件事或人對你係好重要，而家俾多次機會你再去珍惜及明白機會真係要靠自己捉住!!

this is my experiences today and end of the show  so i hope everyone will learn to cherish the thing they have around them instead of being regret when the thing is gone!

so tired and didn't sleep... and then you sms me and said you felt guilty for me doing such a thing toward you, but honestly no need to feel guilty i did it from my own heart i was just very woryr about you that's all... i want to eat and i'm sleepy... hahaha i'm whinny like a little kid

right now is 730 didn't even sleep at all... *sigh* ok... going to bed now

so i been doing and right now is 4 in the morning... i don't know if i should sleep or stay up the sun should be out within 1 hour...

this is what i did when i can't sleep... making stars... i finished 2 packes within the whole night... and i'm still awake and right now is 330!!

so many things wander in my mind and my mind is still awake... sometimes i don't understand......

24 more days....

when i was riding the bus home today i saw a pair of lesbians and then suddenly i was thinking love can exist in everywhere even the same sex or different sex once they love someone that feeling is always there and is never gone and i started thinking the feeling of love is so strong and nothing in the world can conquer it and everything else because love means everything... and being with those that you love is amazing and it takes over the bad and sad things... that's what i got off for advices from the pair of lesbisians

I also realized people feels regret after losing something and is too late to get it back once is gone and onces the chances is gone..my advice is don't regret for what you let go but be glad for what you get

as always i knew you were going to be late when you come to meet me :P hehehe i think i can predict the future then when i saw you on west rail I notice you were hurt on your right knee and it was so funny when you told me about your friend ditching you for pretty girls hahahaha that was really funny  But that is you too seeing pretty girls and then lose your own self :P *smiling*

When we were putting everything down, I started the fight of throwing the ball at danny and everyone else... i'm such a trouble maker... It was fun playing the number game.  Haha but i can always catch the ball so i was lucky i didn't need to have any punishment :P Then we played a lot of volley balls and somewhat swims, hehehe While we were swimming, how dare you try to splash me and it taste really salty but i couldn't get you back gurrrr.. >3< This is not fair... gurrr...  and when we get back from the water onto the land, you got scratch on your knee... awwah that must hurt  alot!!!  Poor you **huggies**  There's a feeling when i saw you were hurt my heart kinda hurt and like i don't know why i felt that way? Then all the boys were playing cards... What the Heck?  Then what the hell were we doing O yeah Water Gun Fight I brough the gun for phil and jason and felix and then I get shooted at What the heck is this shit? Is not fair with 5 Vs 1!!! But luckily Phillip and Felix changed toward my side so hahahahaha I had two helper It was great... But then I throw the water balloon toward felix i didn't mean for it to explode But it did and i apologized really bad !!! So after word we trying to use the water balloon as a weapon but it was no use Dong It.. Why won't it work!!!! But it was funny how eveyrone attack me saying is my birthday so needs to attack Wow =__= That is the worst excuse to attack someone? Gurrr... Well it was fun and i gonna admit...

Then When Angel came it started to rain and pour.. damn it and so we had to wait for 20 minutes and then we all were blaming her... but you know what she did she got me a cake Oh My God she is so sweet I swear !! I was so close from crying today because of this and it made me like want to hug her very much We played the number game and it was funny when Danny and Phillip are getting mad at each other and wants revenge hahahaha ^^ Those two are like kids... Then she helped picking up when we all get away and get changed but can you believe the boys were slower than me getting back changed :P then we were drinking and eating the cake and we chat and it made me chuckle how everything is playing with water and drinks a cup of water hehehe i was like a mother controlling everyone... (even today is not my birthday I feel so happy that I spent it with all of you it made me feel super sweet and everything else)

As we were walking to the bus station, it started to pour again..So i was in the same umbrella with you but then i had to switch with angel to tell her things since i haven't talk to her the all day... but we were soaking wet again so i was thinking (then why the hell we changed into dry clothes??) Then when we get off the bus it was rainning so i had to share umbrella with you hehehehe lucky you saved my life by sharing umbrella with me  Then when we had dinner at the going around sushi places it was great... and I like sitting next to you Just so you know!!!  I feel very save and secure having you sitting next to me!!! The feeling is amazing good

But my mom's phone call someone makes the mood became depress *sigh* But i didn't let it ruin the night much... I really hate it how everytime she has to be controlling of my time and is once a time.. seriously i'm not a little girl i'm an adult... Oh well....But you were willing to listen and cheer me up!! Thanksss....!!!

So today's grading for you as "pretending" my bf is 100% excellent, i only said 90 % to fake you and honestly you did a lot better than real bf(s) I see in life.. Not so many are like you willing to do a lot of work... thanks so much today....When I get home, I looked at the presents and I really like it. It is a good presentespecially it matches my name!!! Thanks so much!! You know when I'm near you I feel like I don't have to worry at all... I feel so secure  (what if i tell you i do not want pretending? what is your repsonses) But this is just a "what if"? just saying...

26 more days....

i feel veyr energetic like i can sense the feeling of cupid is finding me soon !!!

today is the day that america is having it's own independence day just as hong kong have july first and october 1st for china so is a independent day for united states of america....

just a few thoughts while i was wandering off.... (day dreaming)

1. When you like someone, the more of the heart you put in the more will be hurt when breaking apart!
2. Love is not a value but you can pay heavily for it.
3. Love equals to miracles, things that aren't able to happened before, and sudden it will brighten you up.
4. When you wake up from a nightmare, the first person that reaches your mind "it is a hint that he(she) is the one"
5. When there is a new born, everything around seems to be wonderful.
6. For love, we're willing to do more for the other person, this is not sacraficing but the willingness to do for other.

This is all i can think... Talking to my N.Y. friend is greta and amazing I swear... letting them know how i was doing in h.k. and i was telling her how i'm really afriad of being hrut again and i'm afraid, but i know i'm strong enough to conquer the past memories and the painful feelings. Things changes faster than you know, that's why you have to catch the chances when is around... All i know is there's so many questions in my mind like: are you really sincere? do you mind my past? i don't know there's so much more and more... i really don't know what to think i feel so blah and stress out thinking all this questions you know? there's so many wondering in my mind and flowing , is weird when you don't know the answers and all you can think by your self is going to the dead end.... and kept thinking the same questions over and over and over and over and it will never ends until the day the questions are being answered!!!

27 more days super excited!!

***thinking*** being a philospher !!!

I realized that I can always remember seeing my dreams and one thing from dreams is it happened sometimes in the future but i do not know when but when the events happened i knew i experiences once in dream but not in reality... some say i have the fifth sense and some say this is de ja vu!

De Ja Vu is feels like things happened before.... honestly... i do not know why i been knowing dreams like this since i was young and when I was young... I seen my ancestor in the dream and sometimes dream really scares me with things i can't control But then is quiet weird when i'm dreaming i knew is a dream and I can control the bad things of happening... is quite awkward...