September 3 : The third day of school... having my SU meeting after school.. that was the quickest meeting i had in my life for the SU... usually it finished within 120 minutes and 190 minutes within between...but it was done way before...so then we went out for the freaky movie.. f**king A... it made me sick to my stomache... for your gentleness of caring... it made me in love with you even more...for your hug and kisses, it made me felt as in heaven... I'm really lucky to have a wonderful boyfriend like you... it makes me so happy >3< I hope I can keep this happiness and luckiness forever...

September 4: After school. I went to KT to play badminton with your two master(s) holy crap... they're mad good... actually unbelieablely good... lolx hahaha going home late... getting yelled at... is somewhat weird and awkward....

September 5th : get up and have tea with my family and then work...!!

So... I can't quite remmeber what had happened in the past few day... but for the last day of august 31st, I met my other side of the family. It was quite nervous.. that day after school assembly, holy shit, so we went out as a group of friends to hang out... then later on that night, you brought me home to see your relatives..holy shit... that night my heart kept pounding and pounding, i was so nervous and everything else... especially when you gave me some foods into my bowl and then your family said wow i can't believe how gentleman are you... it made me chuckle... and i talked with you great aunt.. about you.. it was fun and i tho she didn't like me much because as saying me as a good friend of taking care of you... X_X but then it was just the old generation of speaking.. so yeah then when you sented me away... I can tell you didn't want to let me go and just want to hug me forever if you could XD but oh well i had to go back to campus..

September 1st : the first day of school started..... and seems like our classes at the afternoon made our roomate wake up later... and furthermore...you came in early.. so we can see each other earlier... after school, we went to KT for badminton.. while i went with angel to buy a pair of pants... then you were so concentrated and then when you saw me you seems to lost all the concentration..then... we played badminton... and we laughted at you while you were wipping off the sweats... hahahaha this was great... but then while we go for dinner, and you chased after me and said there's something i want to say to you.... but at the end i didn't say anything with you but just telling you to go back and hang out with friends...but then 10 minutes after and you called me and said you will come find me for dinner and so you came for me and gave up your friend... poor you... but i must say that made me very sweet,,, like you have no idea now sweet that moment it made me and that moment i wanted to hug you and kiss you a lot... but i was very shy... >X< hahaha no.. But thank you for your caring.. and for everything you done, i really appreciate... as you got off the bus, i was thinking i'm so lucky to have you at this moment and wonder if i can have you forever as if i'm that lucky.... perhaps i can ask you that sometimes as a suprise >X<

September 2nd : the second day of school started... damn the friggin air conditioner... it was so friggin hot.. it nearly killed 4 of us..XD so then today we somewhat sat near each other and there's a few poeple thinks yiou and my best friend are dating... hahaha but i think they guessed it wrong but i don't know i think you're so sneaky like playing with my hair while no one around... wow very considerate... and very clever... i like it a lot... although i know you wanted to sit with me in english... but stupid brother in law ... always get in the ways... and darn.... you can't be with me for chinese project... darn.. haha you can't correct my chinese.... >XD (laughing so hard) So after dinner, i'm blah.. didn't like the food and everything else.. and it tastes like shit and then i realized that the best meal i had for the past three days... was at your home!! when you gave me vegetables and rice, i wish i can go to your house for more times... and is not that i want to take the advantage of home made dinner, but i want to be part of you and be part of your family... which hope can happens in the future... *praying to god* for a wonderful in-law family and a good boyfriend, a good husband, a good father XD perhaps is asking too much... but I'm willing to take up the process and go throughout my whole life time with you as i mean it... *serious face* I want to be closer with you and your family... and I feel so sweet when I can just with you, you probably have no idea how sweet it makes me feel when i see you or even see you smile.. =] As i was making straw stars, my room mate said when you're makign gifts for a person, it means it is taking out part of your lifetime for that cherish person.  Super sweet... *@*

When i was home alone today, the TV and computer were off... Then My memory suddenly went back to the times that you played with me on chess, and letting me win... (damn I though i was  better than you, just because you were letting me win) for the night....... I had to stayed up the whole night to finished the business project, and you stayed up to talked with me until 4 in the morning........ When I didn't have any white out, I asked you to bring it in for me...... During lunch time, would always offers me a napkin for my messy face.... for a rainny day, you came to school find me because i had to ride to kowloon bay..... the first time when you held my hand in the mtr station.... the first time you kissed me..... for a no reason, coming to YL having sweets with me... always me waiting for you (Late King).... i hope the furture could have more memories together....

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talk or keep quiet? i choose to be kept quiet... hope i can hold it in... 

「哦！你尋晚訓覺之前唔打俾我﹐係咪唔鍾意我喇？」「哦！你唔叫我bb喇﹐你係咪對我淡咗？」「哦！你唔俾sms我睇﹐係咪有野呃我？係咪鍾意咗第2個？」

請大家猜猜﹐說這些話的﹐是男生還是女生？

相信大部份讀者都會認為這是女生說的。但是為什麼多數是女生說呢？好像自從上帝造人以來﹐女生便假定會這樣說話的。為什麼？「因為女生是敏感的。」

基於這種「理由」﹐女生絕對「有權」敏感﹐查男生的sms﹐限制男朋友和異性朋友出街等等。當男生抱怨時﹐不論是女生還是該男生的朋友都會說「算了吧！女生是敏感的。」

看到這兒﹐希望讀者不要誤會我在指責女生。相反﹐我認為敏感是應該的。你若不緊張你的伴侶﹐他/她和其他人做什麼你都不會在意吧？所以敏感是應該的。

但大家有沒有想過：男生都會敏感呢？

男生都是人﹐都有感情﹐亦會重視感情。

當男生看見女朋友和別人sms﹐他「應該」扮作若無其事﹐否則會被視為「小器」。

當女生回家時不再給男生一個goodbye kiss﹐男生不能因而感到不快﹐否則會被指責「敏感」。

女生重視男生而敏感是沒有問題﹐但為什麼男生因緊張女生而敏感卻受到指責呢？

所謂的敏感其實只是關心的表現﹐因此是沒有問題的﹐更不應該被指責。

其實男生都會想知道更多女朋友的事﹐男生都會因為某些事而忐忑不安的。雖然goodbye kiss﹐叫你bb或是全名等可能只是一些小事﹐很多的女生都會從這些小事去判斷男生是否重視自己﹐其實男生都會這樣做。

男生不說﹐只是怕女友指責自己敏感﹐更怕自己破壞了自己的形象。

別說話 別說話 別破壞這刻優雅
臨走你別說一聲好嘛 你也不必怕
請你別說話 別說話
別再度回頭又凝望這一剎 如撕開的碎花
 

手寫日記不想打出來

我有個習慣就係一心幾用就算做緊野都想有野分下我心!!! 而其中一個習慣就係sms 某人，結果佢不想sms 全因想我一心一意做事而不犯下任何錯誤。真係5知嬲佢好丫定係又再傻笑好因為咁為得我，佢真係好錫我丫!!!心唸: 我比起其他女仔真係好好好好好好好運，有幾多男仔真係呁細心體貼，雖然我不知道佢會不會是我一輩子的不過現在這一刻我知道我是佢的而佢是我的!!有好多情侶因不如意既事會倏出一些令另一位不開心既事情for example, breaking the other person's heart...knowing a lot of those examples throughout daily life... wanting to break someone's heart but want to save an ggood memory for the other person.. seriously... why care when you plan on breaking heart with the other person... sometimes i don't get people's mind thinking...thank you god... for giving me a wonderful prince and created a good fairytale for me

(from xanga)

當我見到這篇文章... 不禁令我唸起其實我都有俾個好人卡給一個人。亦令過他不開心，因為他在一個不岩的時間問了我一個問題，時機不太好!!! 不過好彩我自己都可以及時捉番這段緣份。其實佢未問我之前，我好期待佢會問我，結果當佢問我，我........ =.=!!!  不過同佢經歷咁多野我知道自己冇選擇錯因為同佢一齊既感覺就是安全感。所以一定要珍惜有既野!! 5係個個好似我咁好彩，個男仔願意等!!!

今日一朝早就被人吵醒了同我講關於我既好消息!!!都5知講咩好!!!佢真係傻架，咩都以我為先!!!不過佢既然咁為得我，我知道i mean a lot to him..!!!心都甜到就快溶了。

跟住又冇啦啦同未來姑婆奶奶傾電話，死火!!!馬上變左怕羞花丫!!怕羞草邊有怕羞花架!!不過姑婆真係好young 丫!!!聽完佢講搵日得閒來屋企坐下!!!心情馬上放鬆晒，冇再太緊張!!! 所以又令我係度唸今日個印象好不好???今朝一早我跟你叫佢做姑婆不過5知....應5應該咁叫??係外國我叫表妹既長輩just as my 長輩!!!所以都5係好明香港文化丫!!!i was trying to be respect but hope i didn't create the feeling of pretending... I don't know if i did the right thing... Hopefully I did the right thing...So I'm very looking forward meeting your family..!!!

好累不過一想起您都好自然地笑出來

camp was very fun with everyone is sleeping... only two of us last till the end... XP... i like going to the beach with you... XD I like driving you crazy... !!! furthermore... will be added on to our memories...

去完Camp 我就睡覺lu!!

今晚亦發生左D野，媽咪問我係5係同你一齊? 我答係!!結果我被人鬧被人要脅，講左好多5好聽既說話，例如 " 佢係5係你會一生一世既人?" (我唸隨緣啦) "點解一定要拍拖呢?之前咪講左讀書個陣5可以拍拖?" (我唸拍拖其實可以係好既影響5一定要一心一意讀書，視拍拖為升級版跟別人相處) "如果佢珍惜你，佢不會選擇求學時期要求同你一齊?" (我既唸法因為有緣: 緣來不能避，緣走不能留!) "男仔這個年齡想有拖拍都係想擁有，而你地就限住對方係彼此!" (我既唸法 : 拍拖根本係一心一意!!!) "我而家俾錢你讀書5係一度讀書一度拍拖，如果你係咁，出來做野5好再讀。" (想法: 簡直要脅我啦!!!) 所以我好需要你既認同和支持因為係我既精神枝柱!!! 

捫心自問我比起其他女仔係比較幸運，因為我有一個不會胡亂發脾氣，溫柔體貼，什麼事都以我為先既護花使者多謝上天對我既恩賜!!

原先好開心既我已經準備去camp 不過心情有D不太唸得通令自己不能安寧地睡著。因為買野食既問題而同一位朋友既意見出入所以困擾到我，難道為大家買野(小食)是錯嗎? 難道買野一定要去一齊買野才算慳家??  就算係每人係俾多$80... 我都係用係自己同細佬既sharing...唉!!不過好彩有人撐番我!!!好多謝您，差D感動到cry 錢真係好敏感丫!! 其實我覺得係一個食meat 既extreme 一個只食素既extreme....不過其實唉!!!其實可以分開買，係5係5應該買小食呢??我好似做錯晒 ai ya 真係煩不過若多D人應該會好好好好好多5駛咁樣......希望去camp 可以順順利利啦!!

i know i only about the 6th week we been together but it feels longer :P honestly i'm happy having you...thanks for all the memories...

Yesterday night, as i was brushing my teeth i was thinking, how the hell do you know my feelings.. are you really psycho that can read other's mind? however I will let it be the mystery between us...

This morning my mr. pig called me and woke me up... but then it ending up I had to work at  10.. and i though i was going to work  at 1 o'clock... damn.. i'm stupid...

Then my sweetie came to YL to find me after work.. the kids saw him and was shocked... I'm so happy he is willing to do so much for me.... when i saw him, he seems quite tired... but he was still willing to walk around with me.... and the girls... he only eats when i fed him.. what a kid... when i saw him coming in... oh mh god my heart melted... is so sweet... i swear if i get diabetes... i blame you!!!

不想再笑                不想再說話                     不想再有人生樂趣                   不想再擁有                 不想再等待

別說話---- dear jane

學會了怎樣放開你的手
還給你最愛的自由
從來可以為你分憂 有過太多的選手
自問我不是太懂去擁有
疼愛我的愛侶兼好友
難得碰過你的雙手 我也要親手送走

* 別為我哭為我嬲為我轉掛
要為你生為自己為了不再怕
未能為愛擦出火花 到臨別這一刻
請你別說話 別說話 別破壞這刻優雅
臨走你別說一聲好嘛 你也不必怕
請你別說話 別說話
別再度回頭又凝望這一剎 如撕開的碎花
以後無論有多驚怕 你亦能面對不必害怕

Repeat *

我願你找到理想一個家
從來不再為愛給掙扎 離開這舊居的一剎
別說話 別說話 別破壞這刻優雅
臨走你別說一聲好嘛 你也不必怕
請你別說話 別說話
別再度回頭又凝望這一剎 如撕開的碎花
以後無論有多驚怕 世事無論有多可怕
你亦能面對不必害怕

我的快樂---    錦繡二重唱

徘了徊了走了　錯了哭了痛了

累了倦了睏了　煩了亂了冷了　都是真的

瘋的想的念的　不安的焦慮的

複雜的夢過的　擁有的失去的　怎麼忘呢

你坐過的沙發寬了 你愛的音樂停了 我等著你等成了擺設

我的你的他的　好的壞的難的

灰的藍的黃的　酸的甜的苦的　都還記得

非常想要忘的　絕對不能忘的

我心要還你了　真的不行要了　只得放了

環島的火車載著我第幾天了

忽然發現這一刻我不想你了

我的快樂　會回來的

只要清楚曾愛得那麼深刻　不准問值不值得

我的快樂　會回來的

離開不是誰給了誰的選擇

after a night of againsting each other... we both are not in the mood to sweet talk with each other, anymore... *sigh* sometimes.. i don't know... i though we both were the kind that cna always jokes around... but i guess we're not... especially when you're not in the mood... that's fine but from now on... i will not joke anymore about you and the other two girls.. and for checking your phone... which made me learn to not to mind your business anymore... honestly... perhaps the culture and the points of view is different... for me as i think... no need to hide anything because there's no secret within each other... but for the hong kong culture might be i want my things to keep personally with myself and not sharing it with the closest....... sometimes i hate the culture's differences...I don't know... perhaps... I need to know when is the time to play or not.. So this is my day...

As I was standing outside the garden i can see lighting and hear thunder and felt the raind rops... for a moment I was thinking god must be crying for me... let the rain fall down and break my dream... (great song).....

what the hell am i suppose to do... when he said there's not a problem... i know there's a bunch of problems in between us... I know the problems are me playing over the line... but what more can i do... nothing much more... all i needed to say i did already... just waiting for the time he thinks everything through to be ok...

有人話...........同一個人一齊係因為佢鐘意original 既人，不過一斷時間後因為某D事情缺點浮現出來就想將原先既人變成夢想既人，好想佢達到自己既要求。

有人話...........感恩擁有既野但係有幾多人真係明白這個道理丫。

有人話...........只要願意付出就算冇回報都不緊要，有幾多人真係做到一心一意為別人。

有人話...........兩個人之間發生左問題一定要手拖手一齊跨越個難題，一個人既力量係比起兩個人弱。

有人話...........只要你覺得值得為左他(她)就會不惜一切同屋企人鬧架被朋友排斥甚至失去自我，都不再重要。

有人話...........只要搵到一個錫你仲多過你錫佢既人，就可以付託一生。

有人話...........維持一段關係不難只在於兩個人的相處同原諒同體諒。

5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦5理啦

以後都5理丫!!!激死我啦!!講笑又5得!!以後都5理!!

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So today is the bowling day... i did horrible *sigh* so the games was danny adn claudia winning those couple... 真係夫妻同心其利斷金..... 勁丫!!! So my sweetheart is trying to keep me close with him all the time and trying to kiss me a lot... sometimes I wish he knows how to get loose for a little bit as not so close with me... what i meant is do right thing at the right time... but i like it a lot when he kisses me ... but i feel as kissing is a gift... let it happen and the times of happening let it flow and not forces it..i think kissing is a precious moment... so don't rush it but just let it flow... and let it be valuable... as always kissing would loses the meaning of the sweet moment... kissing is a suprise and is a sweet moment that shares it with the other moment... Honestly I really like the way you cherish me so much... but we needs to watch at what time do what kind of things... that's all... I'm just really happy i have you... Whenever I smiled and you said you're sneakly smiling... you know why because i know having you being with me is the luckiest thing that happened in my life... you held me up high when  i'm down ... and you're the guardian angel from god to protect me.... Honestly.... i'm really glad to have you being there for me whenever i need it and love when you're holding my hands and hugging me.... that kind of security only you can give it to me... I hope that we can last forever... just as when i asked you the question at Hong Kong  Sport Museum... I meant it... And I hope it could happened in the future...... ;)

P.S. fucking annoyed by mom... yelling at me saying i'm going out with a group of friends that is boys... fucking A.... so fucking pissed off...  and then she screamed at my brother for wasting times... are you fucking joking me...?? then she started to slap him in the face... are you joking me... is not even that big deal?? and for me to have friends... why the hell be so fuckign worry... for friends... oh my god... this makes me feel the depression once again in n.y. or being limited to do whatever i want to do.. are you serious...??? i'm 19... and i'm not a kid anymore... i fucking knows when you have sex you get pregnant... and ruins your life... are you kidding me?? i know all this common sense... and seriously there's no need or reminding me again and again... and there wasn't any needs of slapping phillip... seriously... you said you were tired... so phillip asked you to sleep... and what pisses me off is that you said i don't do anything for the family... are you kidding me I washed the dishes for you tonight... and seriously being mad at someone really makes harm to own self mentally... is a torture toward ownselfs.... seriously... is so stupid... i don't fucking understands it...

因為愛，人會體諒和包容，即使面對對方的優點缺點，他還是你愛的人。
不應該去想理由，無論怎樣也好，儘管可能對方本來有的優點消失了，自己還是喜歡他，這，才是愛。
說太多理由的人，才是最容易給自己借口變心或放棄的人。

As i was working today.. i was deciding if i should see my sweetheart... and at the end my decision was right... although i know seeing him would consume times and money... but when i'm with him... that happiness... is not money or materialism can be compared to... it was a happy day just seeing him... then as i think... when you love someone... you don't need big satisfaction is long as the other person is happy... then just a simple thing will make everything seems like heaven...

So today as I worked... the kids saw my hand with the ring... and asked me "Miss, did he gave it to you?" they were so looking forward to the answer of "yes of course he gave me the ring." But i had to say "No I bought it." hahahahaha They looked so disspointed... and then 2 minutes later, asking me " Miss, when you you marry to him?" For that moment... I was shocked... I don't know how to answer them... see kids are active thinker There's always questions continueously coming up....

Then throughout the working time, you sms me a lot and holy cow... it made me felt super sweet and if i get diabetes.... I blame you...Then you told me how you lost the little pig and you went searching for the little pig everywhere... you're so silly.. when i heard that I wanted hug you... You're so silly... is just a litte phone decorations... For this I can feel that you really cares about me and this relationship... 傻豬一個令到傻妹願意一生一世咁愛上你  don't ask me how to translate because it cannot be translate.... hehehe so i'm super happy... i feel that meeting yoou is the luckiness thing that happened in my life like you're so perfect... and makes me feel unbelievable...

一段感情必經的三個時期

開始熱戀期的時候 個性不合不會是阻礙
所有的缺點都變成了可愛

走到瓶頸期的時候 認清事實開始是個考驗
所有的爭吵都變成了討厭

不得不到冷卻期的時候 過去的時光開始是個牽絆
但是任何的問題都有可能變成了兇手

這就是所謂的相戀很容易 相處很難吧

As your friend told me about your past " gf" hahaha this is funny and it makes me laugh a lot like how your friend are trying to make me think you dated before.... but no matter what others say I will always believe all the words you tell me....No matter what I will believe you and not other gossips or rumors...For now and forever, this is a promise I will make to you now and till the day I'm die... <3 One meaning, Three Words, 8 Letters.

copy from the xxanga...

我想說的是,不需要理由的愛,可能只是[走馬看花][一見鍾情][慾望驅使],
那些單單憑著""感覺""便搭上你的人...當然不需要理由
因為,當他們不愛你的時候...總能給你一個十分合理的答案...不是嗎?
[我覺得,我們合不來][你太好了,我配不起...][我對你已經沒有感覺了]......太多了

對!"感覺"很重要!

但,其實"感覺",打個比方:
冬天時,桌上有一杯剛倒的熱水,
初時碰到會很燙,
隔一段時間再碰,溫暖的感覺讓你不捨得放手,
再隔一會,水必定會變冷
-有積極的戀人會定期花心思,去[翻熱那杯水],令對方依然愛不釋手,
可是,不耐愛的人便會:伙計,幫我換杯熱水!

那些單單憑著""感覺""便搭上你的人...很大可能會因為""感覺的淡化""而放棄你

對!感覺,的確很重要!

但,我只認同"感覺"是"開啟愛情的鑰匙",而非"維繫愛情的鎖鏈"
對一開始便沒有感覺的對像,你大可忽略;可是,對交往後才覺感覺淡化的情人,
你應該捨棄嗎???
過往的美好回憶, 雙方所負出的一切,在剎那間丟棄, 真的一點亦不會留戀嗎?
沒有記性的對方,想不起,不痛
可是,自己呢?可能 晚晚都在失眠,天天都在為分手黯然,恨嗎?

愛一個人是有理由的"

例如,我會愛她平凡不造作,
我愛她不貪求什麼,
我愛她對長輩尊重有禮,
我愛她溫柔體貼,
我愛她樂天常笑,
我愛她想法成熟卻帶點天真可愛,
我愛她對我專一,
我愛她勤力學習,
我愛她潔身自愛,
我愛她懂做家務,
我愛她不會放任自己,
我愛她脾氣甚佳,
我愛她聽話乖巧卻有點主見,
我愛她對我內心好奇,

缺點上
我都愛她笨笨的,
我都愛她常常犯小錯,惹我大笑,
我都愛她有點任性,
我都愛她對我發小脾氣,
我都愛她經常大頭蝦,

老實說,
我亦愛她身材不錯,
我亦愛她樣子可愛,
.......

隨便數算,理由都絕不會少,即使經過時間的沖刷,外表-身形必會有所改變, 可是,令她在我心中減分的,冰山一角,任她再減十年,一百年!
我依然愛上了她,依然想緊緊抱著她...
可是, 開不了口,就是開不了口

I must admit the feeling of liking someone is a special feeling and is not temporary it must be of the other person for what they done and impressed...the heart...

Yesterday was our 4th week together... yay... this makes me super happy...  

So then in my dream... i saw you... with you in it everything became perfect and wonderful...I had a dream that for your birthday picture I can draw you and my picure as a birthday gift... which i think i can do it cause a long time ago i drew my self and it looked like me...

When I woke up this morning, I suddenly became your wife... hahaha this is great... I hope it can be true...*praying to god*

This morning I waited till the sun to be up and realized I didn't sleep and my eyes been hurting a lot because of the tears... i had made through the night...So I woke up because the special one texted me...  At first I didn't know what should I say... But at the end...we talked somewhat... but the the sentence still flowing in my mind... " dating feels abstract and I want to catch it, however I'm happy when I see you."  These words kept wonder in my head... It sounds ironic... and I was very confuse...

Then afternoon you told me you wanted to see me... at first I didn't know if i should promise.... before I see you I was having all the image like we will get into an agrument.....

But at the end.... when i saw you, you hugged me... You have no idea how close I was coming off crying.... Do you know that? I was so close crying with you hugging me.... because for what you said... and then... I felt like you treating me so good and cherish me so much... and then I really wonder what did you meant by the sentences.... Because it seems to contradicts each other... You know? At that moment I didn't care for what you said, I know at the moment you really cared for me.....

Then as I saw your friend, he called you master (師父) Then randomly he called me madam (師母) Who said I was going to marry you...??

So then he kept taunting me saying to make out, putting the water in your mouth by my mouth... and much more and more... and it was funny for what you wanted to drink..saying should try sex... this makes me chuckle.... boys boys boys.... afterward you said my face were red as cherry... I was just embaress for what he said... But yes for sure I know he is very talkative and kid around a lot for what needs to be done... and kept saying how much you loved me.. 

After tea time, we went to Macdonald for chinese chess.... is not fair you helped him more... gurrr....  stupid master you suppose helped your madam...

So then you kept hugging me and make sure I'm in both of you two's convo... But I think you have opposite sex and then not having any same sex friendship hahaha making your friend waited for you forever... and I got blamed on... damn...

Then for a sudden image I was wonder if I could be that lucky girl and have you for a lifetime...but i was also thinking on the day IF we ever got married and you have to pick me up in the morning... the bestmen will all call me madam... Just a good imagination...  I hope it can come true in the future... But is always my imagination...

I still wonder if we have that wall in between us... I wonder if you still don't understand what I meant.... for rushing.... because I didn't want to rush you or the relationship... and at the end will turns into regret and I don't want it to be regret... I want it to be happy memory... for us...  

Today at work was quite depressing.... I don't know why I felt that way... I woke up really sleepy... So after breakfast i gave you a call... but i think i called at a bad time that you didn't really want to talk with me...*sigh* i'm stupid... Then as i was riding the lift to the work place... I was thinking " Am I wrong telling him about the truly of how i felt? But i though dating someone shouldn't have any secrets in between. Especially being with someone so special.... It shouldn't have anything needs to hide." Oh God... What had I done? Had I just killed the relationship between us?? Sometimes I'm so stupid... just speaking out how I felt... F**k... I'm a f**king idiot....f**king piece of shit... I'm so mad at myself....

So then at work was quite depressing...I kept thinking of us... well mostly you... I think I really like you and to the point where I look at us as one...I don't remember how depress i had got as today.... just as since last year septemeber...perhaps the truth is I'm afraid of losing you and the relationship...and afraid leads to worriness....

Then when I saw a little baby today while I was going to shop... then i was thinking  " 小孩子的生命就好像大人的心靈一樣般脆弱" This suddently sparks my mind...

So after work, I went to Yuen Long Park, I remember I went there with a friend to the bird tower and told my friend if i'm sad I will go there but my friend said you can always find me when you're sad... but unforunately... my friend didn't understand at all...*sigh* so i didn't  bother to talk with my friend but instead just look at the beeautiful trees and waterfall...

So you didn't call me or msn me or sms me....*sigh* =.=""  sometimes boys are so stupid... they never know what girls think, seriously....but girls and boys were born to be one since god created eve from adam's rib bone... so this is what i think the whole day....  Of course... there's someone in my mind.......

Dear God... I'm so confuse and afraid again.... What had happened toward me? I though is long as willing to give out the heart... you will get happiness... plus I wasn't asking for anything returns... its that I'm willing to give out my heart....but why is this happening again and again...?? Everytime when I'm so happy... you always became the devil and took away my dream, my fairytale, and my life...I just want to be an ordinary girl...But why do this to me?? I don't understand... you have no idea how close I was going to cry today.... I though you would always sent me an angel to guide me and protect me but in the end... it shows that I'm wrong.... God.. I'm so confuse... why gave me hope and then takes it away...?? I hate this.... I hate you doing this to me... Just one years ago... I was on the floor picking up the broken heart... and then I met him...he was the one that healed me up... and so i was ready to give him my heart and trust... and then now sudden i felt like you're playing me ... god how can you do this to me ? I trust you all along... i trust you to guide me... But furthermore, is thank you for letting me meeting him... and thanks for everything happened in between us... because is our memory...

I don't know I don't know I don't know.... let the wind blow and take my breathe away... let the sun shine on my face... let the rain cry for me....let the moon shine up my night.... let the tree block all the troubles...The last time since i cried was last year september and tonight as i typed on the computer, or speakign with you... i felt i'm ready to cry... i can feel it... Shit... i think i' so deep... I can't believe how a small thing of teling you the truth leads to this.... dating always have this trust issues tell or not... I hate myself being so straight forward...and just speak of how i feel...f**king hate myself.... damn this shit...!!!

你要愛你自己，先要愛上自己過去留下的傷痕，因為沒有它你就永不知道何謂長大，不要害怕！正如真正愛你的人，會同樣愛上你的過去，因為這也是你的一部分。你是獨特的，無人能夠代替。

人們都迷失了自己，生活已變得盲目，人云亦云，人做我做。漸漸地，人們只著重物質追求，為的只是取得別人的認同。為的，只是肯定自身的價值。

沒有精緻的佈局，沒有嚴緊的規則，有的是命中注定棋子。
說的是每個人都擁有的緣份棋。
棋是上天定的，要遇上的人必定會遇上。
然而，要如何行每步棋，如何定棋子的關係，是閣下的選擇。

不完美就是完美